Got bored, and realized I haven't posted many stories I have in storage. I really suck, I know, and if I want to start a major project, I have to be more committed to my typing.

Enjoy this Legend of Zelda story I thought up.

Ways to kill Ganondorf

Hello, I'm Alex, SK23 insain portion of his mind. I have a important public announcement for the land of Hyrule. It's about a dark warlock named Ganondorf. You know the guy who takes over Hyrule, but gets his rear handed to him by Link. Yeah, that warlock. Well people, the Master Sword isn't the only way to own Ganondorf. Fights in the Smash Mansion, and living with the nutjob showed many ways to defeat him. Here's the top 10 ways to be just like Link, and save Hyrule when you see the warlock walking around your village.

10. A Hug Always Triumphs!

"Alex!" the dark lord of Hyrule was glaring at me, who had the last piece of pie in all of the Realm of Trophies, "Give me the pie!"

"Awgh," it looked like Ganondorf slept on the wrong side of the bed...or got owned by Link, "Someone had a bad day? What was it? Link tossed you off the Bridge of Eldin again, got shot by a stray missile from Samus, or had his pie swiped by Pikachu again?"

"All three if you need to know," Ganondorf grew more angry and his fist had purple flames on it, "Have to strangle that mouse and his trainer one of these days," then the oath turned to me, "Give me that pie!"

"I think Peach could help," and conveniently, Peach was nearby watering flowers, turning to see Ganon in a bad mood.

"need something Alex," the Princess came toward me staring at Ganon who looked ready to strike.

"I think our friend here needs a hug," I smiled, and the flame on Ganon's hand vanished, along with all of his rage.

"EEEER....no need," Ganon looked worried at the two of us as we both closed in, "It's all right, you can have the pi-"

From outside, looking towards the kitchen window, purple flashes were seen, along with burning sounds, and screaming.

Back inside, a burnt corpse was on the ground twitching, along with a horrified Peach, and an amazed me.

"Now for pie," I didn't care about the Dark Lord now, I want pie.

9. Something Small and Fluffy

"Move it idiots," Ganondorf was in a rush to get to his next match, with Link of course.

Thump!

"Hey," Kirby was mad that Ganondorf kicked him like that, but the warlock was more pissed.

"Little marshmallow," ganondorf spat at Kirby, "Your so tiny I need a magnifying glass to see you!"

"that's Olemar!" Kirby pouted as Olemar nearby started to cry and ran off.

"Well at least pick up my Care Bear doll on your lap, and give it back."

"I don't have to do she- huh?" Ganondorf looked down, and his eyes widened, "AAAAAHH!"

Ganondorf leaped up hitting his head on the ceiling, and ran off the wrong way, quitting his match against Link and left Kirby with his mouth opened.

Kirby picked up his Care Bear doll and looked in the direction Ganondorf ran off to.

"I love Care Bears more!"

8. Sinking Isn't Swimming.

Ragafragarkjoiapjvknpwjeiokjfakprjesioqjoipvnafpj!

"What the hell is that noise outside," Fox was trying to sleep over the yelling.

"It's Link and ganondorf arguing again," Falco answered and put his head in his pillow.

"I, and everyone else knows that ganondorf always loses, why does he even bother," Fox looked towards the window, and was not going to sleep anytime soon. Some laughs would be nice.

Fox decided to jump out the window, and see the amusing fight.

"Why bother," Link held his hands behind his head, "I've owned you many, many times, but you still keep insisting on having these pointless contests.

"And I'll keep wearing you down until I win," Ganondorf laughed, "Now let's go."

Link knew he wasn't going to get out of this, "Fine, but I chose something this time."

"What!" ganondorf yelled, "GRRRR!"

"Ganondorf, please stopping bitching and just let Link pick something," Fox really wanted to see how badly Ganondorf loses this time.

"GRRRRR, fine!" Ganondorf reluctantly agreed, and Link headed to the back of the mansion.

After Ganondorf and Fox reached up with Link, they were at the pool.

"Why are we here?" Ganondorf demanded, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

"We're going to swim," Link walked to the edge of the pool, and waited for Ganondorf, but he stayed motionless.

"Ganondorf?" Fox waved his paw in front of the warlock, but no answer.

"Dingus?" Link waved his hand, but Ganondorf refused to move, even being mocked by Link.

"What, wait," Fox started to chuckle, "Ganondorf can't swim!"

"Really," Link grinned as he went to Fox, and whispered into his ear. Fox nodded, and both went behind Ganondorf.

"3...2...1...," Fox quietly counted down, "Push!"

Both tackled into Ganondorf at high speed, pushing the Dark Lord into the water.

"Help! Help!" Ganondorf was flailing on the water, "I'm drowning!

"Swim!" Link laughed at the way Ganondorf was thrashing aimlessly around the water.

"I don't know how-girglegirgle," Ganondorf was now underwater.

"Sinking isn't swimming," Fox laughed knowing something really important.

Bubbles were coming from the water, along with Ganondorf's cape and pants.

"Oh! This is just great!" Link laughed even louder, taking the clothes and throwing them far away.

"Dude!" Fox yelled so Ganon could hear, "It's only 4 ft of water, you 7 ft or something.!"

A big bubble came from the water, and Ganondorf head popped out.

Though Link and Fox were now gone.

"Hello?" Ganondorf yelled for anyone nearby, "Can someone get my pants please?"

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If you want to post some suggestions to torment Ganondorf, please review, and post your ideas. Only the best ones will be taken, and one shall be honored with its own chapter as the number one way to own ganondorf!