A Lonely September

Sittin' here all by myself, Jus' tryin' to think of something to do

As I walked around my small apartment my mind was racing, trying to find anything for me to do to get my mind off Claudia Donovan

Tryin' to think of something, anything just to keep me from thinking of you

But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't do it. Everything I thought of made me think of her. Her smile, her laugh, the smell of her hair, everything.

But you know it's not working out, 'cause you're all that's on my mind

All it took was accidently glancing at the pictures I had in the box on the table and I was lost in memories.

One thought of you is all it takes to leave the rest of the world behind

When I asked her to be my girlfriend I thought it would last a few weeks and then she'd come to me with some BS "We've grown apart" line that I've heard from all my other girlfriends. But we lasted longer than I ever thought we would, that I ever intended us too.

And I didn't mean for this to go, as far as it did

But I got close to her, closer than I've ever been to anyone I've dated. We shared more than I thought I would with anyone

And I didn't mean to get so close, and share what we did

I never thought I'd fall in love with someone like her, but now, as I'm strumming on the old guitar that we played on together so many times, I'm thinking different.

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

Claudia puts up walls, I know she's terrified of letting someone in just for them to hurt her. But I saw how she looked at me. She loves me, and she knows it

And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm still trying to convince myself that she's just another girlfriend. No one special, but deep down I know I'm lying to myself

I'm sittin' here tryin to convince myself that you're not the one for me

But the more I think about it, the more I know it's a lie. The more I need her sitting next to me with her head on my chest, and my arm wrapped around her.

But the more I think, the less I believe and the more I want you here with me

It was late October and I couldn't help but think about our first Christmas, I don't want to spend the holidays alone this year

You know the holidays are coming up, and I don't want to spend them alone

I knew I wouldn't be able to stand Christmas with memories of the one with Claudia floating around my head

Memories of Christmas time with you will kill me if I'm in my own

I float back to the fact that I didn't even mean for this to go so far.

And I didn't mean for this to go, as far as it did

I didn't think I would get so close, share so much as I did with Claudia

And I didn't mean to get so close, to share what we did

I never meant to fall in love, but as cliché as it sound she seemed to worm her way into my heart, make me fall in love with her.

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

I guess, to be fair I did the same to her, and I hope I don't sound stalker-ish when I say, I know she loves me too.

And you didn't meant to love me back,

The rational part of my brain is telling me that I'm being stupid; this is the second time we've broken up in 4 months,

I know it's not the smartest thing to do we just can't seem to get it right

But I know that if she just gave me one more chance, I wouldn't be scared to tell her anymore,

But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance to night (one more chance tonight)

As I sit here trying to keep myself busy with this guitar

Sittin' here trying to entertain myself with this old guitar

But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far

I look around my room and everything makes me think of Claudia

I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you

I know it will be hard, but if she just gives me one more chance, I know that her "Family" doesn't approve of us but hey, that means we've got nothing left to loose

Ohh please baby won't you take my hand we've got nothing left to prove

And even though I never meant to go this far with her, I'm glad I did

And I never meant for this to go, as far as it did

And even though I never meant to get this close, share so much with her, I'm still glad I did

And I never meant to get so close and share what we did

And I never meant to fall in love with her, but I'm glad I did

And I never meant to fall in love, but I did

And I know she never meant to love me back, but she does and I hope she's glad she did

And you never meant to love me back, I know that you did

And even though it was only 6 months since I met her I feel like we were just kids when we met. And were, I don't know, something more now.

And I didn't mean to meet you then when we were just kids

My favorite memory of us was our first kiss. I never meant to give her the shivers that I felt go through her body when we had our first real kiss but I loved the feel.

And I didn't mean to give you chills, the way that I did

I can't stop floating back to the fact that I never meant to fall in love with her in the first place, but somehow, without even knowing it, she made me

And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did

I know Claudia wasn't trying to fall in love with me either, but she did

And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I know what I have to do. I pressed 5 on my phone, "Calling, Claudia"