I Love You
It was a mistake, it had always been. Why she hadn't seen that was something impossible that she still couldn't bear to answer. Lying on her bed, her face red, she felt every single blood in her boil with disappointment and anger which quickly melted into a feeling she knew she shouldn't be feeling.
Look at my window, I can see the sun shine
Up in my bedroom, I can't seem to stop crying
And my pillow is a swimming pool
"Accio mirror…" She murmured, her hand waving the 12 1/4 inches wand about, her other hand reaching out to grab the mirror. She looked at her slightly red eyes, her face pale and white, her lips deep red from biting so much. Putting it aside, she looked out of the window and swallowed as the sunlight shone through. Her pillow was wet with tears and the sunshine yellow cover was now dark from all the tears.
I just don't understand, why you did what you did, yeah
My girls told me that I should watch out for you
Why did he do that to her? She wondered, her heart at her throat as she tried to stop herself from starting another explosion of nerves. Was it because- She waved that thought away, but her friends' voices echoed in her head. They had warned her hadn't they? Toying with her, that's what they had said. That Riddle was playing her. Well they were right weren't they now?
I can't help it for falling so dumb for you
Silly me, I could think I could make you fall in love
Tie you down to the ground, don't know what I'm thinking of
Of course it hadn't been the first time a female student lost herself to Riddle's trap. He was well known for it. The oozing confidence and calmness with just the right amount of arrogance was a deadly combination. Especially with that flashing white smile. Anyone would have fallen for that, but why did it have to be her? Why had her heart fallen for someone she would never had chosen in a right mind? Because, her heart told her that she could change him, that he loved her. And for awhile it felt like that…
"Tom!"
"Hello Rachel. Why are you off in such a hurry? Missed me?" That bright smile, followed by an arm lingering round my waist, possessive when other boys brushed past-
But that was all in the past. Trying to tie him down... Had backfired.
Maybe it's just me
Got these clouds above my head and it won't stop raining
Maybe it's just me
I just can't understand why you left and I'm waiting
It was her fault that she was crying, feeling so gloomy like lightning was going to strike anytime. He had made her feel things no one else had ever made get feel in her entire life. There went the tears again, she thought, as something silver trickled down her cheek.
Why was she still waiting here for him to turn up? Why was she waiting for an apology, or want that was killing her inside out? She didn't understand, couldn't understand the sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Or the sinking feeling in her heart that was getting heavier and heavier...
I don't wanna be a hostage anymore
I don't wanna be a daydream no more
I'm picking up, up
Picking up the pieces now
Baby I'ma show you how you've been erased, oh
That's it. Enough crying. Enough sobbing over someone who didn't want her. If he didn't love her, it was his lost that he now didn't have someone to love him. She had her friends, her family, she wasn't going to let herself be trapped by his gaze and words. She wasn't going to take the hurt lightly, she wasn't a weak dream that he could break and throw at will.
Standing up from her bed, she shook her head. It had been no surprise that Professor Slughorn evening party the next day required a dress, and she had thought he would ask her. But since that plan could no longer be counted on, she would go to the party alone, and dance the night away, celebrating her return to freedom.
She was locking up her heart, icing it over until a certain boy called Riddle could never play with it again.
So when the radio plays our favourite song
Ain't no reminiscing baby, I'm about to turn it off
She stopped short, her heart sinking momentarily as she realised that everyone had a date. But it wasn't going to shatter her confidence oh no, she was going to be exactly the opposite of what he wanted her to be. If he wanted her to be suffocated, she would be the ray of beautiful sunshine. Her eyes dart to where he is and she bites back a smile. He has a date, but he isn't paying attention to her. None of them are; not Avery, Lestrange, no, tonight, all eyes are on her.
A song plays and a it's time to dance with your partners. He's staring at her, but the obligation of his date meant he could not leave to talk to her, and she sweetly stands one side, crossing her ankles, enjoying the discomfort.
And when I see your name on the telephone
Boy you must be crazy if you think that I am playing along
Cause I had you and you had me
I played the fool but now I see
She knows that he's waiting. For the song, their song, to end, so that he could talk to her. Or perhaps he would just stare, curious but defiant. Well, even when it's true, even when he kept his mouth shut, his eyes revealed the hunger to know what she was thinking. And he was crazy if he thought she was going to play the game with him because she wasn't going to.
Back then they were the perfect duo; she was his soul, he was hers. Now looking back, why did she even bother to believe him?
She had been a fool all this while.
I'm starting to erase you, erase you, erase you
Erase you, erase you, erase you
He was hungry for more. He wanted to know why she hadn't broken completely. Why he hadn't completely drained her like how he did to the others. She was there, wearing a emerald green dress that hugged her body everywhere, bringing out her PSLE porcelain skin tone and chocolate brown hair. Very, very, much alive and happy.
She didn't spare him a glance, and he heard her laughter for the first time, a cold chilling laugh that lacked warmth, but promised a lot more. It brought unease to him as he thought of the slight possibility, but that was what it was. Just a slight possibility that would never occur.
Look in the mirror, finally recognize myself
Problem is, I can't see me with somebody else
She stared into her reflection, the mirror reflecting her face. Her curly brown hair falling down her shoulders while her warm eyes were filled with tears, and for the God knows how many time she wiped dry her tears with a tissue. She was herself, the brown eyed smartest Hufflepuff in the while cohort; not just her house.
But, why could she still not forget him? Was it cause she missed the way he would look at her or the way he said her name? Or was it cause everytime she tried to remember moving on she couldn't? Screaming in fury, she threw a spell at the mirror, pausing only when she saw the cracked reflection.
She couldn't be without him.
Keep having thoughts about you
And knowing you ain't gonna change
I got to get over you
Like he was ever going to come back to her. Like he would even care about her. No matter how many dreams she had of him, or how many times her heart longed for his touch she knew that he wasn't going to change. He was going to continue breaking as many hearts as possible, and she was just another consolation prize he had decided to spend a little more time to decorate.
She wondered if he found the scars that he had placed on her heart entertaining, or had he just been proud that he had been the first one to plunge a dagger into her heart. If he enjoyed turning the rusty knife in her heart with all the smiles that he sent past her to see.
My friends tell me that I gotta keep moving on
I know they're right but why does it feel so wrong
If she was more logical than emotional as her friends wanted her and told her to be, what would she be like now? Would she have a safe happy heart, would she have already moved on? She wanted to, she was trying her best, she had met more people, gone out with so many that she had lost count.
Why did it feel like she was making all the wrong choices when the only wrong choice is the one that she had left behind?
When everything was jaded from the very start
I'm lying here tryna reach you from my broken heart
She paused, her concentration wavering slightly as she heard her friend talk about how Riddle had picked up a new girl. How had she been so blind? So dumb? She had been a deer stunned in headlights, enraptured by his smile, his soft spoken gentle demeanour. But who was she kidding? Behind that smile was a sardonic boy who longed for pain and tears.
She swallowed, her hand holding the wand shaking slightly, and a muffled sob made it's way up her throat, strangling her internally. She ignored the stares as she raced from the common room to her quarters, breaking down on her bed, burrying her face in the pillow, wondering if he could hear her. She was screaming so hard for him, but why couldn't he hear her?
Maybe it's just me
Got these clouds above my head and it won't stop raining
Maybe it's just me
Now it's over and done and I'm through with all the waiting
"Hello Rose."
Her blood ran cold at the soft almost sweet voice and she slowly turned, trying to stop her heart from over racing. He was still as dashing, his brown eyes capturing her, stilling every thought going through her mind. But just as quickly she fell from the spell, and tears sparked get eyes as she remembered that he was the guy who had walked away without a second look. It was so stupid, no one else was like that, so why her? But she had enough of his games and spells.
"Hello Tom."
I don't wanna be a hostage anymore
I don't wanna be a daydream no more
I'm picking up, up
Picking up the pieces now
Baby I'ma show you how you've been erased
His face showed surprise and Rose wanted to laugh like a crazy deranged fool. Had he thought she would fall for the sand wide eyed innocent almost too sweet personality again? At first taste it's like chocolate melting in your mouth, but the second bite is always less impressive and bitter. She had enough of his ghost in her dreams, his scent in her dreams, being caged in his arms no matter how hard she ran.
"So-"
"What do you want Tom?"
So when the radio plays our favourite song
Ain't no reminiscing baby, I'm about to turn it off
Surprise and shock washed over his face, but he quickly rearranged his features, covering up his emotions, leaving little for Rose to enjoy over her success. Why hadn't she seen it earlier? He could hide his emotions so easily, of course he could have done it dating her. He leaned forward, licking his lips while inside Rose bitterly laughed, wondering how she had found it attractive.
"You."
Oh? And what made him think her answer was a yes?
And when I see your name on the telephone
Boy you must be crazy if I think that I am playing along
Cause I had you and you had me
I played the fool but now I see
"I'm sorry but I highly doubt I'm the person you're looking for." She replied calmly, her eyes wordlessly hiding nothing. He stalled for time, staring into those brown eyes, desperately trying to read them. Those eyes that he had lead on, those eyes that had shone with tears like diamonds when he had left her. His lip curled, distaste and confusion radiating from him. He could not understand why this plain girl, plain boring Hufflepuff student could charm him.
Not that she felt the same way, Rose thought bitterly, a spark of determination in her steely brown eyes as she shuffled her rolls of parchments into a neat stack, her notes for the up-coming examinations. Finally, after a few seconds of tensed silence he left, and she allowed her lip to quirk into a small feral grin.
It takes two to play a game.
I'm starting to erase you, erase you, erase you
Erase you, erase you, erase you
He couldn't understand. No, he refused to understand. Why, she had refused him. Why, whenever he stared at her he enjoyed the way her eyes gleamed with courage, or the wittiness of her tongue, or how she smiled with a fierce drive of ambition. But most of all, when she looked at everyone with the same staunchingly strong sense of loyalty, and love, he wanted her to look at him again and say those three words.
I love you.
Blank stares had replaced those emotional eyes that brimmed with love and joy. He felt somewhere in him cringe, but he refused to admit that it was his heart.
He had gave his heart away aeons ago.
Now I tried and tried, to give and give
I keep on lying to myself
And I cried and cried through the lonely lies
Ain't no matter, seem like none gonna help
"Rose-"
"Go, away." She sucked in a breath as she felt tears leak around the edges of her eyes, but she refused to cry. She would never give him the satisfaction. Finally, as she stared at his cold, lonely figure, a shadow in the hallway, she understood. And her anger and sadness poured out like a typhoon.
"This was never going to work out. It isn't meant to be Tom, you're nothing but a liar, and that's what Slytherins do best. You never face the truth, you cannot love. You never loved. You think it's fun to play around with feelings? How would you feel if
You got played? No, that's the sad thing, you will never let anybody love you. You will feel love because you don't know what is love. All your friends, they don't love you, they're just a bunch of followers! And you will never know what it means to love someone unconditionally because you never allowed me to love you."
Sucking in a final breath, Rose turned, slipping and sliding over the icy tiles, her robes slipping as she rushed away, balancing her notes. She hadn't noticed, but he hadn't moved.
And something like a diamond fell from the figure, gracing the cold heartless floor.
So I forgive you, it's time to forget you
I'ma stitch up my scars, stop the bleeding right here, right now
Get you outta my memory, get rid of the misery
I gotta erase you somehow
He cursed the school, he cursed his parents, he cursed his mud-blood father. He cursed the world for his bad luck, he cursed his soul, but most of all, Tom cursed his heart. She had moved on, and he had been a fool, too late to have understood. Somewhere in him, that cold untouched heart of his, previously encased in a stone cold prison had been freed, yellow sunshine breaking through those barriers. He stared into the mirror, and he felt a jolt of surprise as his index finger caught hold of that silent silver drop.
A tear.
He never cried. No, he never cried. Not when she had gave him the emotionless face or when she cried so hard he felt like he was the one drowning instead.
Ah but he had forgotten. He thought, his face hardening, his mask slipping back on. The words still ringing in his ears. He couldn't love. He couldn't.
Ain't no reminiscing baby, I'm about to turn it off
And when I see your name on the telephone
Boy you must be crazy if I think that I am playing along
Cause I had you and you had me
I played the fool but now I see
I'm starting to erase you, erase you, erase you
Erase you, erase you, erase you
Erase you
It's better to erase you
He stared at the girl, watching as she threw her hat into the air, celebrating her graduation from Hogwarts. He watched as she shone with happiness, knowing that they were all going to board the train back to London and never see each other again.
He froze the picture of her, her brown hair golden in the sunlight, her lips split into a radiant beautiful smile.
Tom Riddle had loved. He had loved a girl called Rose. He had given her his heart.
But Tom was dead.
Voldermort glanced once more at the petite laughing girl and turned, leaving for Borgins n Burkes. Later on, she will find a note tucked in her robes with the final words Tom Riddle had wanted to say.
I love you.
*** I might write a follow up if I have the time, cause honestly I have it in my head already (muahaha) but it'll be nice for reviews, any grammar mistakes, spelling errors, improvements (You can even ask me to write something you want although it'll take awhile) And PM PLEASE 3