Apparently There Is No Calm, Just the Storm
It was supposed to be the happiest day of their lives, besides their wedding day. The day they'd been waiting for, for 9 months. They'd bought all the supplies, read all the books, taken all the classes. In the end, they meant nothing.
Aurora Rose Donna Deeks was born sleeping. She had the most beautiful dirty blonde hair, chubby cheeks, button nose, blush colored lips, and ocean blue eyes. Ocean blue eyes that would never open on their own. She'd never smile with her blush colored lips. She never have a kitten like sneeze with her button nose. Kensi would never get the chance to braid her luscious, beautiful dirty blonde locks.
She would never surf with Deeks in a tiny, pink wetsuit, or cuddle up with her mom. She would never see her first day of school, or play with her toys. She would never do anything, because she was born dead.
God never gave her the chance to take her first breath, or see her first glimpse of light. She'd never be able to feel the coolness of the ocean water. She never be able to feel the warmth of her parents' hugs.
"No, no. She can't be gone. She can't be gone. She can't..." Kensi sobbed. She screamed. She kicked, and punched, and slapped. She did everything she could think of, but it was useless. It wasn't gonna bring her precious Aurora back to her.
"I am so sorry, Mrs. Deeks."
"Sorry? You're sorry? You killed my baby!" She screamed, with tears still streaming down her face.
"Mrs. Deeks. We performed the emergency c-section because there was no detectable heartbeat. Your baby was gone, before we got to her."
"Get out! Leave me alone! Go away!" She screamed as she threw a nearby pillow at the doctor.
The doctor did as she was told, and left the room.
"I am so sorry, baby." Deeks whispered.
"No. I'm sorry I couldn't keep our baby alive." Kensi said, matching his volume, and with tears still slowly streaming down her face.
"It's not your fault, Kens."
"My number one job was to protect her. I couldn't do that."
"You didn't crash your car on purpose. You were hit. Your car flipped. Your were knocked unconscious, and nearly died. It is not your fault."
"Yes it is! It's my fault. I failed you, and our baby." She sobbed.
Deeks didn't know what else to say, so he just wrapped his arms around her. He soon realized that his tears were falling onto her hair.
"I just want her back." She whimpered.
"I know. I do too."