Yeah, don't lie to yourselves, this could totally happen…
(Or at least I think it could happen, but my mind seems to be high off its rocks from all the fudge my mommmmie made! hehehe! )
Misprint.
The night was bright, the sun was long gone, leaving behind its stalker the moon. Sakura stared at Sasuke's back, tears ran down her face, she took a step forward, ready to reveal her darkest secret so close, her voice was right on the tip of her tongue….when she sneezed.
Her pink wig moved out of place by the force of her sneeze. Her high pitched sneeze made even the now blue eyed Sasuke turn to look at her. He blinked his eyes and sighed. Turning around he walked off of the set and sat down. Cracking his neck he raised his hand and out of nowhere a bottle of water appeared in his hand. Taking a huge gulp out of it he suddenly became angry and threw the water to the ground. He stood up angrily, glaring at the water and walked off with a girlish whimper.
As he walked past brown eyed Naruto in glasses all that Naruto heard was, "I'm such a fatty…fatty…fatty…must workout…fatty…" at this Naruto sighed, that boy and his weight issues, at this rate the would need a new Sasuke, because this one was going to be anorexic by the next season.
Naruto looked at the girl on his right, she was holding his blue contacts and smiled at him. He smiled devilishly and pulled her close. He whispered naughtily in her ear, "So, Itachi-chan…baby…" his voice was velvety and brought promise, "How's bout you and I go to the little trailer of mine and have some funnnnn…" his voice coming out in a soft hiss emphasizing the last word in a low velvety voice.
Her giggle was infectious and soon they were walking out of the room, hand in hand. Sakura was still on the set, getting her make-up fixed along with her wig. The wig was pulled off, revealing a long curtain of deep red hair. She sighed as she felt a tangle in her real hair. She pulled at her hair and looked around her, anger boiled in her veins as she noted the absence of her fellow actors.
"I swear that stupid bulimic bitchboy needs to stay on the fucking set so that I can at least get to bed at a decent time! Seriously why hasn't anyone gotten him some anti-depressants? I know that by now someone must have prescribed him Zoloft, or Seroquel or something! What the hell! That damn blonde is gone too! I swear by my steel toe boots if he out screwing that girlyman Itachi again I will rip off his two-inch-twinkie! What…Okay fine Ino, manlygirl! I don't care, I want to finish the scene so I can go to bed!" anger boiled as she stomped off to the trailers.
"Oh God! Why am I so fat? Look at that! I am so fat! Oh no! Is that a stretch mark? NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo! My life! It is ruined, ruined I tell you!" Sasuke's voice rang through his room. Tears poured from his eyes as he looked around, being alone in the room and talking to himself he wanted to find something to throw, preferably a pen, because he could hurt himself throwing something heavier. Desperately looking around the room, he whimpered dejectedly as he found there were none…
"HEY FATASS!" at this he looked at his mirror and saw the door open revealing his red-haired cast mate. Sasuke sniffled and turned away from her, letting his whimper squeak out of his trembling mouth. He wrapped his arms around himself and waited for Sakura to yell at him, when no verbal assault came his pretty pretty girly-man eyes turned to her.
He jumped backwards as he noticed how close she had gotten to him, her sharp green eyes were glaring at him. He knew of her short temper, not because she was spoiled, but due to her impatience she could become a scary beast (More in his opinion, to Naruto she was a sex-deprived cheetah with a pair of balls which ceased to have fallen in fetal development making her look like a woman with the harsh anger of a horny man…)
Seconds passed by, and Sakura backed up from him, her eyes closed in ill concealed anger. She walked out of his trailer, Sasuke took a shaky breath and was about to that whatever god there was—
"THE FAT KID MESSED UP HIS DAMN MAKE-UP! DO YOU HEAR ME? HIS MAKE-UP IS RUINED! IT WILL TAKE TOO LONG TO FIX WHAT HIS FAT ASS HAS RUINED!"
Her angry rant was followed by a stressed shriek, a door slamming, a shattering glass, a dogs bark, and then lastly the grumble of Sasuke's hungry stomach.
(Somewhere in a trailer not to far away, Itachi-chan and Naruto were giggling, naked, save for Itachi-chan who was wearing Naruto's glasses.)
Sasuke stood still, hearing the sound of his stomach grumble, Itachi-chans girly laughter, and realized just how messed up the casting for the show was. His stomach grumbled once again, followed by another of the manly man shrilly yell of Sakura as she left the set for a deep tissue massage and Sasuke grabbed a jar of peanut butter and sat on his toilet seat.
As the world around him faded, his focus solely on the yummy yummy jar of goodness in his lap he couldn't help but mumble….
"Thank god I run off with Orochimaru in the next season…"
(Somewhere far away, Rock Lee giggled as he happily plucked the fake brows off of his beautiful face.)
FIN
Wow. I surprise myself. Really, I wanted to make a stupidly funny ficlet to start off my
return to writing, but, my my my. I started this months ago, and got to a part where I realized that I could not go any further with it, but, I came back and tried to salvage what I could. Please comment on my twisted version of this,,, how do I put it? World? Eh, who cares, but I tried a different style of writing, compared to my earlier works, so my repetition of words is just to emphasize the word.
Tammy: I WILL BE UPDATING K.O.M.I. and HATING HER SOON I SWEAR!!!
(STANDARD DISCLAIMER APPLIES TO THIS, AND ALL OF MY WORKS, I HOLD NO OWNERSHIP OVER NARUTO, SAKURA, SASUKE, THE SHOW, OR ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH NARUTO. NOR DO I PROFIT FROM WRITING THIS FANFICTION.)