He could always feel her presence. The Force made sure of that. He thought he had severed his tie to the light side when he killed his father. The whole world had gone dark when he put his lightsaber into Han Solos heart. But then Rey flew into his life, eyes and lightsaber blazing, and she was brighter than anything he had ever known. How could he complete his mission, his grandfathers mission, if he could not put out the fire Rey had ignited in him.
The Force was becoming a burden. He could not shake the feeling of Rey, no matter how hard he tried. After weeks of not being able to sleep or even blink without envisioning her, he decided to use it to his advantage. Kylo started to spend hours in his meditation room, eyes closed, trying to see a vision of her. Where was she, what was she doing, was she with Luke? Every time he had gotten close, every time The Force finally bent to his will, and he was finally basking in her warmth, it all disappeared. He would be watching Rey, sometimes she was eating, sometimes she was sleeping, but whenever he tried to broaden his view to see where she was, it all vanished. But he would not give up. He was Kylo Ren, he had killed his own father, he singlehandedly banished Luke Skywalker, he was not one to give up. So day after day, he meditated. Days turned to months which had turned almost into a year. But religiously, he sat down, crossed his legs, put his hands together and closed his eyes.
Almost instantaneously, she was there. Today, she was drinking water out of a flask, she was sweating, panting, struggling. Even like this, she took his breath away. But where was she, what was she doing, was she okay? As soon as he felt the familiar spark from seeing Rey, her image dimmed. Kylo took a deep breath and put his emotions back behind a wall. Rey was stooping down now and picking something up. It was her staff. He heard a deep voice but it was garbled, distant and indiscernible. Rey responded by charging forward, face determined, staff pointed. There was a brief moment of contact, Rey's face shone blue and then she was knocked backwards. Her hair fell out of its neat arrangement and covered her face as she hit the ground. Kylo's fists clenched. Get up, Rey, he nearly whispered, nearly betraying himself. She had started to fade again. He took another deep breath and denied his feelings.
Rey stood up and swept her hair out of her face. "That was amazing, how did you do that?" she said with a laugh. Kylo's eyes flew open and the connection broke. He should have been angry, he was inches away from seeing who she was talking to. Any other day, he would have torn apart his quarters with his lightsaber. But this time he couldn't move, he was rooted to the spot. He had never heard her laugh before.