Twas the night before Christmas and even in the organization no one was stirring except a certain nobody. Axel was fast asleep like the rest of the organization but he woke up feeling a strange craving for some hot chocolate. He sleepily got the mix and put a pot over the fireplace. He lit a small fire not paying much attention to Demyx who was sleeping on the couch.
"OUCH"someone yelled. This instantly had Axel wide awake and he remembered what night it was.
"Shit"he said running to the chimney.
"What's going on"Demyx asked rubbing his eyes.
"Santa's on fire get your ass over here"Axel yelled. Demyx quickly woke up and put the man out. Once he did Axel and Demyx realized that it was in fact Santa who Axel had set on fire.
"What's going on"Saix asked glaring at them from the door.
"Axel cooked Santa now we won't get any presents"Demyx whinned. Saix held his head it was much too early to listen to Demyx's whining. Then he saw a man in a red suit on the ground with a few burns.
"What's all the commotion"Luxord asked.
"Can't an old man get some sleep"Xigbar asked rubbing his one eye.
"Axel killed Santa"Demyx wailed.
"Shut up you'll wake the superior"Saix hissed covering Demyx's mouth.
"Did you guys get hungry and decide to have the gent for dinner"Luxord asked as he looked at the burned man.
"I didn't mean to"Axel said looking at all of them. It finally registered he had killed Santa. He would definitely not be getting anything from his Christmas wish list this year.
"Would you all calm down you didn't kill him"Vexen said coming into the room.
"You mean he's alive"Demyx said hugging him.
"Be careful with him he's severely burned he's just not dead yet. Get him to my lab if you want to keep it that way"Vexen said before walking away. Axel quickly summoned some lesser nobodies and had them carry Santa while all the organization members followed. Once they were in Vexen's lab he got Santa hooked up to some machines.
"Is he gonna be ok"Demyx asked looking at Santa worried.
"He should be ok but looks like half the world won't have a Christmas"Vexen said.
"Why not"Axel asked.
"This was in his pocket and only half the worlds are checked off"Vexen said handing Axel a piece of paper. When Axel looked at it he realized it was a map.
"We can't let that happen"Demyx said.
"Why don't we deliver presents"Axel said.
"There isn't enough time"Saix said.
"Actually I made this a few weeks ago"Vexen said unveiling a sleigh with 8 things that looked like reindeer.
"Why do you have that"Xigbar asked.
"That's not important right now"Vexen said.
"Ok let's break into teams"Axel said ripping the map in half.
"I'll go with Axel to make sure he doesn't fry anything else"Saix said.
"Me to"Demyx said.
"Well that leaves you and I"Luxord said looking at Xigbar.
"I want the real reindeer"Demyx said rushing outside. When he did he saw the sleigh he cheered.
"Look he even had Rudolf"Demyx yelled hugging the reindeer as Saix and Axel walked outside.
"We gotta get moving"Saix said yanking Demyx by the coat into the sleigh.
"I wanna drive"Axel said grabbing the reigns.
"No way I wanna drive"Demyx said grabbing the reigns. Saix smacked both of them upside the head and grabbed the reigns.
"I'll drive"he said.
Luxord and Xigbar went to the sleigh and Xigbar grabbed the reigns.
"You're a terrible driver give me those"Luxord said reaching for the reigns.
"As if"Xigbar said making sure to keep the reins. Then he whipped the reindeer and they took off really quick.
"Slow down you're gonna kill us"Luxord yelled as he almost fell out of the sleigh.
"As if this is fun"Xigbar said laughing as he whipped the reindeer again so they would speed up.
As they approached the first house Saix landed on the roof like he was supposed to.
"Wait you passed it"Axel said showing Saix the list.
"No I didn't"Saix said refusing to look at the list.
"Did to"Axel said.
"Did not"
"Guys Axel's right"Demyx said.
"Shut up"Saix and Axel said at the same time.
"Sorry"Demyx said holding his hands up in defense. Saix looked at the map again and realized he was wrong but he refused to admit it so he rode to the house in silence. When they landed Saix got out not wanting to listen to Axel's I told you so speech. Demyx handed him the present which he snatched up. He jumped down the chimney and landed almost completely quiet. He was putting the present under the tree when he felt something bite his butt.
"What the hell"he whispered turning to see a small chihuahua holding onto his butt.
"Stupid mutt"he said pulling the dog off and throwing it on the couch. He was about to go back up the chimney when he felt something bite his leg. He looked down and growled when he saw the dog again. He summoned his claymore and was about to hit the dog when he stopped himself. He couldn't kill the mutt that would be a terrible Christmas present. SO instead he kicked the dog off his leg and hurried up the chimney.
"How was it"Axel asked when Saix reappeared.
"They had a dog"he said before sitting back down. Axel just burst out laughing knowing how much his friend hated dogs.
As they approached the first house Xigbar went to land but he didn't slow down at all. Then they crashed into the roof messing up a few shingles.
"Let me off this deathtrap now"Luxord said getting off the sleigh. When he got down the chimney he heard a voice.
"Are you delivering presents for Santa"she asked. Luxord rolled his eyes he had been caught. He looked up and saw an old lady in a robe.
"Yeah sorry to wake you"he said.
"That's ok besides you look much more my type than Santa"the lady said.
"Huh"Luxord asked. There was no way he heard her right.
"I've been very naughty and I need to be punished"she said slipping off her robe.
"Look lass you have the wrong idea"Luxord said covering his eyes so he didn't have to see all the wrinkles.
"Come on I know how to treat a man"she said handing onto him.
"Sorry mam but I have more presents to deliver"he said running from her and back up the chimney.
"What happened to you"Xigbar asked.
"I need a drink"Luxord said as he thought about the horny old lady.
"Can I do this one"Demyx asked when they got to a house.
"Sure"Saix said. He didn't want a repeat of the dog. Demyx stood over the chimney and leaned in trying to make sure it didn't have a fire. When he did he lost his balance and fell down the chimney head first. When he hit the bottom he landed with an oof.
"Ouch"he said rubbing his head. Then he remembered why he was there and he quickly scurried out of the fireplace and put the present under the tree. Just as he was about to go back up the chimney he saw a goldfish in a bowl.
"Aw you're a cute wittle guy"Demyx said smiling.
"Are you lonely here"he asked the fish. "That's ok you can go with me now"he said grabbing the fishbowl and climbing up the chimney. When he got back up he was smiling. He remained quiet as they flew towards the next house.
"Demyx where did you get that fish"Axel asked when he realized the bowl in Demyx's lap.
"The last house it was sitting there all alone"he said.
"You stole a fish"Saix asked turning to Demyx.
"Yeah but I-" Demyx was cut off when Saix roughly turned around.
"Take it back now"Saix said landing on the house.
"No way"Demyx said hugging the fish bowl.
"Take it back"Axel said.
"No"Demyx said. Saix had enough so he grabbed Demyx and dragged him out of the sleigh. Then he dragged demyx over to the chimney and threw him down.
"If you bring it back up i'll eat it"Saix yelled down the chimney.
When Xigbar stopped at the next house he went down the chimney since Luxord refused. When he got there he delivered the present then saw a collection of booze.
"Come to papa"he said as he started looking through the cabinet and filling his arms with alcohol.
"Santa is that you"he heard a high pitched voice ask.
"Shit"he mumbled before turning around. When he did he saw a little girl holding a teddy bear.
"You don't look like Santa"the girl said.
"I'm not i'm an elf see"Xigbar said pointing to his pointy ears.
"Oh well I made cookies for you"the girl said grabbing Xigbar by the coat and pulling him towards the cookies.
"Sweet thanks kid"he said putting the booze down and taking a big bite of a cookie. When he did he almost threw up the cookies tasted terrible.
"Are they good"the little girl asked.
"Sure kid"he said nodding his head. He didn't want to lie to her but when she turned around he spit the cookie out.
"Look kid I got other houses to hit"Xigbar said getting up. He wanted to get out of there before she gave him any more cookies.
"Wait take one for the road"the girl said handing him one. Xigbar wasn't gonna take it but then he got an idea.
"Thanks kid"he said taking it and going up the chimney. When he got back in the sleigh he gave Luxord the cookie. Luxord took it and bit it but quickly spit it back out.
"That tasted like shit"he said wiping his tongue. Xigbar just laughed that's what Luxord got for making fun of his cooking.
When they got to the last house Saix,Demyx, and Axel were all exhausted.
"This one's all you"Saix told Axel handing him the present.
"No way i've been to more than both of you"Axel said.
"You're also the one who got us in this mess"Saix said.
"Fine"Axel said rolling his eyes. He went down the chimney and heard these weird moaning noises.
"Is the place haunted"Axel mumbled to himself before emerging from the chimney. When he did he saw an older couple naked and looking at him.
"Oh my gosh i'm sorry"Axel said looking away.
"It's ok sonny"the man said.
"I'm just here to drop off the present"Axel said going over to the tree making sure not to look anywhere but the ground.
"Do you wanna join us we don't mind"the woman asked.
"No thanks i'm good"he said hurrying towards the chimney. When he got back to the sleigh his face was as red as his hair.
"What's you're problem"Saix asked.
"I don't wanna talk about it"Axel said rubbing at his eyes hard trying to get rid of the image.
"We're never doing this again"he said.
"Agreed"Saix and Demyx said.