Hey everyone. This story was brought to you by Pop Figure Collection, The Insane Prompt Challenge, Yearly Scavenger Hunt, and March Writing Club's Book Club on Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For Pop Figure Collection I wrote for the final prompt in Matt Murdock Cane's prompt of Write about losing a sense. For The Insane Prompt Challenge I wrote for prompt 51. Character: Sirius Black. For the Yearly Scavenger Hunt I wrote for prompt prompt 77. Write for an AU you've never written before. For March Writing Club's Book Club I wrote for Will Traynor's prompts of (AU) Disability, (item) Motorbike, (character) Sirius Black, and (genre) Hurt/Comfort. I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of Not the End.
The darkness that had become his new reality in life was pressing into him making him more and more miserable than he was before. He could hear everyone around him whispering about him. But when he opens his eyes all he sees is black. A deep non-ending blackness that won't end.
"Sirius," a voice he recognizes floats to him. He picture her. Red hair hair flowing to her just below her shoulders because the last time he'd seen Lily she'd gotten her hair cut and that was the way she looked the last time he actually saw her. Green eyes more than likely full of concern, that matched the concern in her voice, for him. "James, he's awake."
He hears shifting from the other side of his bed and knows this was James Potter jumping out of his chair to move towards him. He feels a hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright, mate?" James' voice comes out of nowhere. "Can we get you anything?"
He wants to laugh at this statement. Is he alright? Is he alright? He's not all bloody right. He knows he's not and the statement that follows that shows him that James knows it too. But he can't tell James he's not alright. That would make him look weak and like he can't handle his new limitations.
"I'm fine, James," he says trying to reassure both James and himself at the same time. "I really am." He says the last part knowing that it's lie but a lie that he's saying to spare his friends. He turns to James and leans over. "Is my motorbike alright though?"
That's the last thing he remembers. He'd been riding on his motorbike to go and pick up Marlene for their date when something had hit him. He can still feel the sensation of flying through the air and feels his hands form into fists trying to keep himself from falling.
James sees the balling of Sirius's hands into fists and fights to keep the tears out of his voice. Sirius was always so strong and to see him in this way was heartbreaking to his best friend.
"Sirius," he says clearing his throat nervously, "do you remember how bad the accident was?"
He doesn't remember much besides flying through the air and the darkness that clouded his senses before he passed out from the pain. He'd woken up in the darkness here, in the hospital, a few days later. Or so they told him. Not that he doesn't believe the Healers that have worked on him. He believes them. It's just easier to be able to tell these things for ones self.
"I don't think so," he murmurs trying to remember something. Anything at all about anything.
"James," Lily whispers sadly and he knows that his baby didn't survive.
"I'm sorry, mate," James whispers. "Your bike was totaled but you're..."
Sirius chokes back a sob at the this statement. He isn't alive. Not like he used to be and for James to cite that he should be happy with this half life is a shame. It's sinful in his mind to find anything enjoyable about this half life.
"But there are parts of it that survived?" he hears his voice question desperately. He remembers working on his motorbike hidden away in his secret hiding place at the park. Regulus, his younger brother who'd died a few weeks ago, used to help him work on the bike. They's spent many an afternoon talking. If the bike was unable to be repaired then that was the last piece of Regulus he had left. "Anything? Was anything salvageable?"
"We're so sorry, Sirius," Lily told him knowing that Sirius was thinking about his brother.
Sirius sighed to himself as he slumped down into the bed he was in. He hears the door open and one of the female healers telling James and Lily that visiting hours are over for the day. They tell him they'll come visit tomorrow and promise to bring Marlene with them this time. He wishes they wouldn't. He doesn't Marlene to him this way. She deserves someone whole and he wasn't anymore.
As soon as he hears their footsteps retreating down the hall he lets it all out. The pain he's feeling. The anguish over the lose of sight. The anguish over the lose his bike and ability to do anything for himself. The sobs that rack his body are almost more painful than any one of the injuries he's sustained in the accident. They rip from him like his very soul trying to leave his body. The door opens and he tries to bite down on the sobs coming out of his mouth.
"Don't fight it," the female voice next to him says. He recognizes her of course. She's one of Lily's friends from Hogwarts he can't place a face to the voice but he knows her. "It helps to allow yourself to grieve."
"I already grieved," he states.
"Not for this. You've got to let yourself grieve before you can heal." She places a gentle hand on his own. Gently gripping it in a show of something, Sirius just can't put his finger on, and sits with him as he sobs for all the loses that have him in the short span of two months.
"I don't feel any better," he says once he's under control of himself once again.
"It's a process," she says gently. "It won't be a quick one either but I know you Sirius Black and I know you can get through this." She ruffles his hair and he's shocked to find that it's shorter. "Your tougher than you think you are."
He snorts at this but he finds he can believe her. Then the name hits him like the brick wall he'd crashed into that day he'd had accident. Her name is Dorcas Meadows.
"Thank you, Dorcas," he says as he hears her open the door.
"No problem, Sirius," she replies the smile clear in her voice.
He doesn't know when he falls asleep but he knows that when wakes up it'll be with a renewed sense of vigor. A need to prove himself not only to himself but to his friends. To Marlene. To Dorcas. To Everyone. He'll prove Dorcas right. He'll prove he's strong enough to over come this set back. Maybe he'll even ride a motorbike again one day.
I hope you all enjoyed the first chapter of Not the End.