Is this oneshot perfectly pointless? Yes!
Is this oneshot stupid? Yes!
Does this oneshot even have a semblance of a plot? Probably not!
Do you need to read my Soda Ain't Here to know some of the characters mentioned? Eh. I'm sure you can figure it out without reading it.
Disclaimer: Hinton owns The Outsiders
Ah, the fresh smell of… burning toast? Two-Bit sat up and cocked an eyebrow. "Burning toast?" he muttered and threw the covers off of him. It was the morning—er, afternoon —of St. Patrick's Day, and that usually did not include burning toast.
Two-Bit got up and walked down the hall, baffled by the smell. No one made toast in his house anymore… not after he nearly set the kitchen on fire that one time with Steve. They'd been hungry after a night of partying, and well, red eyes don't always equate with clear vision…
Lizzie Mathews was sitting at the kitchen table slicing a tomato for her sandwich. She'd tried to make toast for it, but kept burning it and eventually ended up chucking it out the window. The smell still hung in the air though, and she was positive that she'd catch it when her mother came inside with the laundry. (The dryer was on the fritz again.)
"Where's the toast?" Two-Bit asked and reached around her, taking the remainder of the tomato. "I smelled toast."
"Out the window. I burnt it," Lizzie replied as Two-Bit reached around her again for the salt.
Two-Bit took a bite of the tomato and pinched his sister. "You're not wearing green, kid." He pinched her again.
Lizzie turned around, annoyed that Two-Bit had the nerve to eat the rest of the tomato when they were hard to come by in the winter and pinch her. However, Two-Bit was only in his boxers and a green t-shirt, and Lizzie was definitely not expecting that.
"Mom," she whined out the window, careful not to look at him. "Tell Keith to put his goddamned pants on!"
"Lizzie!" their mother scolded. "Watch the language."
"But he's not wearing any pants! I don't want to see him in his underwear!"
Two-Bit pinched her again, laughing. "You'll live."
Lizzie rubbed her arm. "Stop it, will you?"
"Put some green on and maybe I will."
"Take a shower and maybe I will," she shot back, still not looking at him.
Two-Bit took a bite of the tomato, letting the guts of it squirt at his sister, and walked away to do exactly what she had told him to do—take a shower. After all, he couldn't smell bad for the ladies, especially not on a holiday such as St. Patty's Day.
The Curtis household held an interesting atmosphere to it as Two-Bit walked through the front door. There was a sense of sorrow mixed with laughter, and he couldn't quite place it. Or maybe it was just the smell of pancakes cooking in a frying pan that made the atmosphere the way it was.
"Hey," Ponyboy hollered from the kitchen, "we're in here."
"Who's we?" Two-Bit hollered back, adding an Irish accent on top of it, and walking into the kitchen. Molly was sitting on the counter, her chestnut hair pulled into a ponytail and Ponyboy was at the stovetop, cooking.
"We is me," Molly answered.
Ponyboy laughed and drew a design in the pan with the batter. "You're not plural, Moll."
"He's not Irish," she countered.
Two-Bit scoffed and lifted his chin proudly. "Am too," he told her, still in that Irish accent.
Molly stuck her tongue out at him. "Say somethin' Irish then."
"Top o' the mornin' to ya, and Erin Go Braugh, and all that golly wolly." He tipped an imaginary hat at her and smiled crazily.
Molly laughed. "You want some green pancakes, Two-Bit?"
"Why, it'd be me pleasure," Two-Bit told her and hopped onto the counter next to her.
Ponyboy handed them each a plateful and sat down at the table with his own. "They're not nearly as good as Dad or Soda used to make them, but I figured I did okay." Ponyboy looked down at his plate and poked at one with his fork. He wasn't nearly as hungry as he had been when he first started making them.
Two-Bit looked at his own plate and hesitantly ate them. The kid was doing better, but there were always moments that got him down. Molly was only picking at her pancakes too. It was funny how one comment could change the whole mood of the house.
"Hey, Molly," Two-Bit started, "you ever have green beer?"
Molly raised an eyebrow. "No, and I'm guessing you have?"
"Naw, but there's a first time for everything," Two-Bit replied and threw a pancake at Ponyboy's face. It hit him square between the eyes. "Ain't there, kid?"
Ponyboy cracked a smile and threw it back him, hitting his chest. "I ain't touching anything green that's comin' from you."
Two-Bit hopped off the counter and smiled, offering a hand to Molly so that she could hop off as well. "That's the spirit, kid. Now where's superman?"
"Out workin', and before you ask, I don't know where anyone else would be, either."
"What's the matter, kid? Some leprechaun steal your gold?"
Ponyboy rolled his eyes and grabbed Molly's jacket from the chair, handing it to her. He then shrugged on his own. "So where's the party?"
"Over on Linden Avenue," Two-Bit replied happily, and the three of them headed out.
Two-Bit smirked as he walked past Ponyboy and Molly. They had taken over a chair and had been going at it ever since Ponyboy brightened a little and told her, "Kiss me, I'm Irish." Normally, the two would blush if someone saw the intensity at which they were kissing, but they didn't seem to mind that night.
Two-Bit had to admit the kid had a good line there, and had even used it a few times on some girls at the party. There was green beer in almost everyone's hand too; he'd introduced the idea of food coloring to the crowd and since they were all so drunk, they'd decided it was one of the better ideas of the night. Green beers tonight, green tongues tomorrow morning.
Julie walked by, not an ounce of green on her. Two-Bit reached out and pinched her on the ass, making her jump and turn around.
"Two-Bit!" she exclaimed, smacking him on the arm playfully. "What the hell was that for?"
Two-Bit chuckled and took a sip of beer. "You ain't wearin' green, baby."
A/N: Yeah, I know it's no longer St. Patrick's Day...
Review anyway? Even if to tell me of the stupidity of it all? :)