Demon of Fear

She had to make a decision, he was the main player, and she was about to let go of the closest thing she had to family. When Kim is faced with something she never wanted, will Jared and the Pack be able to protect her from herself?

Perhaps it was the way she walked, or the way she talked. But her hole posture screamed to me. Her hair, her eyes, her body. She was an athlete, that much was easy to tell. But she was too confident, too happy. And why should anyone be happy when I can't? That much… if nothing else, was completely and utterly clear to me now.

Prologue:

"It's him or me Kimmy. This is your choice." her eyes were raging as the tears fell and her body was rigid and shaking. Torn between the boy I loved and the girl that had given up everything for me, I couldn't help but find myself caught between two walls that threatened to crush me beneath them.

Jamie was my cousin, and she had laid everything on the table to help me in my time of need. She was strong and supportive, but she was just as broken as I was. She had lost more then I, and yet I had allowed her to give up everything else she built up for herself so she could come and pick up the pieces that my mother's death had shattered. And for a reason I could not explain, I couldn't regret the decisions I had made over the past year.

Jamie was fifteen and I was sixteen, she remained faithful as she walked out on everything to return to La Push and save me from myself. She showed me life again, the beauty of opening my eyes. And undoubtedly, she had lead me to Jared. The very person she despised if anyone. But she didn't understand. She had left three years before when things got tough and moved back to New Zealand to aid with her broken family.

Coming back to La Push may have been the hardest decision she would ever have to make, but in the end, she took her selfless side and returned to help me aid. She went to my school and stood up to all the gossip and insults these Quileute people had shed when she returned to the high school as the only pale face to ever set foot in the school. In the weeks she had helped me get better, she had also somehow lead me to Jared when she was late leaving P.E.

Jamie was an athlete star, and if I had not been waiting outside the gym, I would not have run into Jared. And now, I was torn between the girl I that had saved me, and the boy that had become the only life I knew. The drug I needed to live. Somehow, Jamie had found herself locked into the woods and gotten into an accident on the way to the bonfire I had begged her to come too. Now, she was fourcing me to make the hardest decision I would ever make.

"Kim, this is your decision, but if I leave… I'm never coming back. And when your thrown to the ground again by someone you thought you loved, I'm not going to be the one to leave my life behind again to help pick up your pieces. I won't make the same mistake twice." her voice was raged and caught in her throat, but as all her words hit me, I couldn't help but let the fury of the meaning behind her words get to me. She was claiming coming here to help me was a mistake, everything she had told me and fixed, was wrong.

"If I'm such a problem for you, maybe you should just leave me be if that's what you want."

"Is that what you want?"

"I don't know. But I can't leave Jared, I love him."

"Then you've made your decision Kim Connweller. This will be the last time you ever see me, and the biggest mistake you will ever make." and with that, she turned and left me alone at the bonfire with everyone watching my tears falling. I had declared my acceptance for Jared's hand in marriage earlier and the look of pure disgust that had crossed Jamie's face would scar my memories forever.

I was seventeen at the time, but I had no mother, no siblings, and my father had walked out not weeks after Jamie had shown up. I had all the time in the world, but I wanted Jared more then anything. When Jamie heard the words come from my mouth, that is what drove her from the house and into the woods, she was running on the trails and was too return later that day. But she never came until she showed up at the bonfire, and now… I stand alone, in front of all of my and Jared's friends with tears in my eyes and a regret and relief that I would never allow myself to live down.

Jamie had no doubt been my knight in shining armour when I had been deprived of the savoir I oh so desperately needed at the time. I was a broken sole. Never leaving the house, and not realizing or recognizing what was day from night. She had replaced the pain killers I had used to help ease the pain, she had become somewhat like a drug to me and when I returned to school, things had only gotten worse. I needed her, she was in my every class and ate lunch with me every day, and as I come to realize my mistakes. I notice all the times she tried to open up to me when I had shut her out.

Her mother had left her at the age of seven and her father was a drug addict. She worked to pay for her own bills, she had to stand against the school bullies everyday, and her only other family were half way around the world. I had grown up in La Push hearing about the stories from my parents about her family. The only bright day in her life, was when she boarded that plane to New Zealand and left La Push in search of a new life.

She returned to me when my desperate call for help had found it's way into her caller I.D. She turned around, and bid farewell to her family. Using the last of her savings to come here in attempt to pick up my broken pieces.

As I think now, how many times must I have sounded of a broken record to her. Complaining and crying everyday over the loss of one parent, one family member. Yes, I deserved to cry and feel the pain, but at least I had someone. Jamie had gone for the longest time without, and coming here, she had only signed herself up to take care of yet another broken person. And she never complained or became angered by the thought of taking care of me, or helping aid.

And though I love Jared with all my heart, I may have dug myself a whole I never meant to jump into.

I may have just lost my savoir.

I'm not exactly sure the direction I want to take on this story.

If you like it, let me know because I have the next chapter ready if you like where it is going.

P.S. -

If anyone can write a summary, it would be great if I could get some help on mine.

Drop me a line if you have any ideas or want me to continue!