Long ago, I was born. Long ago, I died.
I am Jager's fledging, a cursedly weak one. I wish to mangle Aubrey, to slash and pulling and rip until he is dead once again. So that he dies twice. That would make me happy.
And I hate Jessica, the damned girl. Aubrey has overcome me, once again he has pulled all the right strings and I have tripped, my dignity scarred.
That is a sad thing in itself.
And now Jessica- oh how I hate the name! It sends shudders and ripples of heat and revulsion down my long dead spine. It chills me yet it sends scores of blazing passionate hate into me. She is a vampire. She has a chance of pounding me, of defeating me. Of destroying the shreds and shards of dignity, of what is left, the broken shell.
I am not weak, I tell myself. You are strong, proud, beautiful, slightly unpleasant. That's all. But my other self thinks differently. I try to ignore it but it is there with every dead breath I breathe, every glance in the dark waters.
Aubrey will defeat me if necessary. So will Jessica. That is a curse in itself. I am no match, though I think so sometimes. And sometimes I wonder why I even bother to think. I will play the weak, foolish female antagonist part in every story. The disgusting character that everyone loves to hate.
I wonder of what became of my religion. I was supposed to have a lovely afterlife. I suppose now, after thousands of years of thinking, of this half-living and feasting on the elixirs of life, that maybe I would not have made it there. The feather would not have balanced with my black heart. Anubis would have my soul. He would probaly spit it out anyway.
To survive, I have this pool of hate. I know it will never dry up, that I can never drink it dry. It sits there, at my beck and calling. And I will supress it for a while. I must. Or I will be no more than blood and flesh on the floor. Spit mingled in it. Jessica's.
I must speak no more of her. Even now, the name calls me to her, to see if she is sleeping.
I cannot drain the hate. It is agony supressing it. I can only use it, be revolting to everyone and think that maybe I would have been better off digesting in the divine acids of Anubis's stomach.
R/R? ^_^ I like Fala. I dunno why. I have this thing against Jessica. Don't ask.