For my dear friend, Mrs. Spicy. May the magic always remain in your heart.
**Author's notes:
-Chapter contains adult material
-Portions of the beginning section are taken and/or altered from J.K. Rowling's "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"
Chapter One - The Past and the Present
Severus Snape was panting as he hurried up the hill, his calves burning against the incline. The harsh wind made his journey even more difficult, the long grasses entangling his footsteps and whipping through his black robes.
But he pushed forward. Despite the angry winds, his long sheets of black hair were clinging to his moistened forehead. He was almost at his destination. But there was so little time.
A blinding white flash abruptly halted his panicked footsteps, and he fell to his knees. His wand leapt from his coat and soared into the grass several yards away.
"Don't kill me!" he shouted, his voice projecting his fear even against the wind.
"That was not my intention."
Albus Dumbledore stood before him, his eyes unblinking and unforgiving as they stared at Snape. Dumbledore's wand was illuminated as it hovered above Snape's head, the bright light showcasing Snape's maddened gaze.
"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?" Dumbledore's voice was soft, but dangerous. The uncertainty of his intentions made Severus feel even more out of sorts. It was unnatural for him to lose control of his emotions.
"No — no message — I'm here on my own account! I — I come with a warning — no! A request, please —"
Had he heard Snape correctly? With a flick of his wand, Dumbledore silenced the wind, but the world around them still swayed violently in the air.
"What request could a Death Eater make of me?" Dumbledore's voice lowered as he spoke the question, already sensing the answer.
Snape knew of the prophecy.
And now, so did Voldemort.
" … He is going to hunt her down — kill them all —" The silence instilled more fear into Snape. His hands were shaking. His stomach twisted in guilt. This was his fault, his curse.
"If she means so much to you, surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"
"I have — I have asked him —"
"You disgust me."
Severus hung his head in shame. The tears stung his eyes. This is all wrong. This wasn't how it was supposed be …
"Hide them all, then," Snape croaked. "Keep her — them — safe. Please." He blinked, and two heavy tears fell from his black eyes.
"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"
"In — in return?" He shook his head, his panicked thoughts making his head hurt. He looked up at Dumbledore, the soul of a Death Eater fleeing his heart as the wind once again began to whirl around him. "Anything."
*****
His efforts had failed. He had made no difference.
He had felt pain before. Excruciating pain from torture, violence and potions. External pain that tore away his flesh. Internal pain that corrupted his mind and weakened his insides. Scars remained as a constant reminder of the pain he had survived.
But this pain was beyond that. Lily Evans was dead. The only woman he had ever loved was dead because of him. He would never again lay eyes upon her sweet smile, her luscious red hair or piercing green eyes. His actions had stolen her from the magical world, a world that so greatly needed her courage and sincerity, her inner and outer beauty. And most of all, he needed her. This scar would torment him until his death.
*****
Tonight was his first trip outside of Hogwarts since Lily was taken from him. He slowly strolled the streets of Hogsmeade Village, hoping the still night air would help clear the jumble of thoughts circling inside his head.
He would help Dumbledore. He would be his spy. He would pose as a Death Eater. He would teach at Hogwarts. He would help protect Lily's son.
It was too much to comprehend, even for someone with an advanced mind like Severus. How would these next years of his life turn out? Would he even be alive long enough to see the end of it all? Yes, Voldemort was gone, but he would return. And Severus owed Lily his life to make up for hers.
Snape decided to deviate even more from his usual behaviors: he wanted a drink. According to Severus, alcohol was foolish to indulge, but then again, at the moment, he felt like a self-indulgent fool.
His footsteps were heavy as he entered Fiddle & Smith's Tavern. Despite the fact that he felt like an outsider, no one paid any attention to him. He examined the tavern's rustic appearance. Built from rich, sturdy wood, and lit by fluttering candlelight, the bar had a serene atmosphere. Lush, dark blues and reds added color to the establishment through curtains, wall decorations and art. Quiet, clean and nearly smoke-free, Severus wondered why he so rarely patronized Fiddle & Smith's.
As Severus walked to an empty seat at the bar, a woman stood up from behind it, her long, strawberry-blonde hair falling in graceful strands from her head. The sudden presence startled her, and a glass mug fell absent-mindedly from her hand.
"Oh! Severus!" She didn't move, but glanced down and the pile of shiny, broken glass at her feet. The woman removed her wand from her robes and the glass disappeared with a wave of her hand.
"Miss Smith, I do recommend you be more careful." Snape flipped his robes out from behind him and seated himself at the bar. He stared at the wood under his hands and ran his fingers along the polished grain.
"Sorry about that, but no worries. It's all cleaned up." Andrea Smith smiled at the pale-faced patron and leaned against the bar. "Something I can get for you?"
"A glass of Fiddle's Scotch, I suppose," he replied softly, not looking up.
"Coming right up." Andrea scurried away to retrieve Severus's drink. She barely felt her feet move underneath her weight as she rounded the bar. Severus Snape! In my grandfather's bar! What the hell is he doing here?
She had known Severus since they attended school together at Hogwarts. While she excelled at the Dark Arts and Herbology, Snape had always had a flare for potion making. She remembered Potions class with Severus … watching him delicately handle ingredients and caress his cauldron while he stirred his creations. She had fancied him since the first day she saw him …
Andrea was attending her first class of her fifth year. Potions with Professor Slughorn. Bollox. The semester would drag, and she'd struggle. Potions was not her favorite subject.
A flutter of dark hair caught her attention. She looked toward the classroom door. 'Was that Severus?' she thought. He had grown over summer. His hair was longer, his frame filled out. Why had she not noticed him before? 'Did he get hot, or are my hormones completely out of whack?' His head remained down as he walked toward his seat, but he glanced up to meet her eyes as he passed her. The shiny black orbs sent a lightning bolt of passion through her spine, only amplified by the breeze that followed him. The air carried his soft, masculine sent.
Throughout Professor Slughorn's first-day lecture, Andrea continually stole glances of the newly matured Severus. She ignored Slughorn's ramblings about attendance and course objectives, and instead pictured Severus's thin lips on hers … and often, her rapid female maturation processed raunchy fantasies with Severus Snape.
First, an innocent forehead kiss, then a more traditional massage of her own lips, and finally, many kisses to her sensually delicate nipples. He imagined his tongue circling them, then lightly biting down on the pink flesh, his curtains of hair tickling her stomach. He moved down, his perfect lips forming a trail from her breasts to her abdomen to her navel … lower and lower they kissed, his tongue briefly touching her skin before the next kiss.
Her fantasies intensified from there … his naked body against hers, his hard penis aching for her moistened lips, and finally, his rigid member rocketing in and out of her as he moaned from the pleasure she provided … his eyes would close as his hips bucked forward and upward. His moans would shake the walls as he finally orgasmed, his cream filling her as his thrusts continued. He would cause orgasm after orgasm, her screams mingling with his with each pleasurable pulse …
Now he was here. Was it fate bringing him back into her life?
She prepared his drink from afar, facing him, she studied his angular nose, thin frame, and sleek black hair. His darkness made him alluring to her, and she could never understand why.
Snape had always been a mystery. He seemed to have disappeared after leaving Hogwarts. The rumor was that he had joined the Death Eaters, but now he was roaming Hogsmeade and drinking at local pubs. Of course, everyone seemed to be having a celebratory drink now that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had been defeated.
But Severus didn't look like he was celebrating.
Maybe she could put a smile on his face. She ran her fingers through her hair to produce some extra body, then lowered her black, form-fitting shirt to expose her cleavage. It worked with the other male customers, so why not Snape?
"One glass of Fiddle's Scotch," she said with her best smile, setting the drink in front of him.
"Thank you," he mumbled, his eyes still angled downward.
She thought she should leave him with his thoughts, but she hadn't spoken to him since their final day at Hogwarts. It was as if they were back at school, and her flirtatious, teenage hormones were kicking in.
"How have you been, Severus?" She wound a strand of curly hair around her index finger and felt her stomach flutter when Severus raised his head and his dark eyes connected with hers.
"Absolutely terrible." His slow pronunciation of every syllable dripped with annoyance. He loathed her for being so pleasant, so happy, when he was not. And besides, he came here to be alone, not to chat with an old acquaintance.
He remembered Andrea Smith from Hogwarts. Decent student by Severus's standards. Rather talented in the Dark Arts. But she was always obnoxiously happy. A Hufflepuff, if he recalled correctly. She had always pestered him for tutorials in Potions, a talent, Severus believed, one could not be taught.
"I thank you for the drink, Miss Smith, but I do not require your company."
Andrea's smile faded at his lack of interest. As a young woman at 21, Andrea often attracted the lure of almost any man that entered the pub. But not Severus. He had never shown interest, an unintentional act that had wounded her heart from their fifth year at Hogwarts until this moment.
An absolutely spectacular Legilimens, Andrea had always tried to probe Severus's mind. Her attempts often failed, as Severus was equally superb at Occlumency.
But now, in his darkest moment, his mind was weakly protected. And in his thoughts was a single image: the green eyes of recently murdered Lily Potter.
Andrea scoffed and left the bar to hide in the seclusion of her father's office. Paper cluttered his desk and littered the floor, leaving her no place to sit. She tried to ignore the mess, especially since she rarely worked at the pub. Her full time job involved tending to the lush grounds at Hogwarts. But it wasn't her dream, the bar or the groundskeeping. Her life was missing a spark, a sensation she hadn't felt until Severus stood before her again.
"Lily. Always Lily," she said aloud, crossing her arms and kicking a file cabinet. She thought his crush on Lily had faded after the "Mudblood" incident, and certainly after she began dating James.
It wasn't fair. She wanted her chance. If only he got to know her … she wanted her time with Severus.
Time.
Andrea slowly removed her wand from her pocket, staring at the delicately crafted wood as if it were her savior. This was the moment to test her invention, the spell no one else in the world had ever developed or attempted.
If she could only revisit the past and chance one thing … one thing could alter her entire future: a future where she belonged to Severus, and he belonged to her.
She inhaled slowly then exhaled loudly through her mouth. She raised her wand up in the air and swirled it in a circle above her head.
"Tempus Ostendo Sum … "