Yesterday's episode of Glee gave me thousands of feeling, all of them the Andercest kind, of course. The song I used is Wicked Games, which is a cover by Greg Laswell. Reviews are appreciated. :)
The world was on fire,
no one could save me but you
Cooper could remember the first time had had kissed Blaine. It had been on a hot summer day, in the middle of the night, his insides burning just at the thought of being able to grip Blaine's shoulders, to see his eyes change colors up close. They had been standing on opposite sides of a kitchen counter, Blaine staring up at him in the way he did, his eyes wandering up and down his face, confusion and love, desire and lust mixed together creating a world of feelings Cooper could fall into with just one glance. Blaine tried to hide everything from Cooper, thinking that he was sick, that what he felt was wrong.
Cooper knew it was wrong, knew that it was looked down upon, considered disgusting by most. He knew his parents would never be able to look him in the eye if he really did grab Blaine by hips and have his way with him, that they would kick him out of this house, probably Blaine too, leaving them with nothing.
Nothing but each other.
It's strange what desire
can make foolish people do
Cooper remembered thinking all of these things, but after that, it was all hazy until the moment he felt his hands wrap around Blaine tight, and felt Blaine's chapped dry lips under his, moving in a synchrony that should have been surprising, but was instead calming, prompting Cooper to kiss him harder, to grip his waist in his arms tighter, to brush a thumb across his little brother's cheekbone.
I never dreamed that I'd need
somebody like you
Blaine let out small whimpers as they kissed, bringing up a hand to move through Cooper's hair, then his neck, and down to his chest. Breaking away moments later, he didn't move back, but simply looked up, staring at his big brother in awe, his eyes glazed over and his lips swollen and shining. Cooper looked back at him and tried to feel some sort of remorse, some sort of regret, or disgust for what he'd just done.
Instead, he took Blaine's hand, and led him upstairs.
I never dreamed that I'd miss
somebody like you
Cooper look up at the ceiling from where he was lying on his bed, his fingers moving up to slowly trace over his lips, memories of summer clouding his mind. He could still feel every graze of Blaine's fingers, every kiss that had been exchanged by the two. He could still feel the excitement, the rush, that came with waiting for their parents to leave, for finding deserted parts of the house, for finding places to go where Blaine holding his hand wouldn't be considered weird, where no one knew what they were doing, how they were lying to everyone they knew.
Three weeks, thirteen hours and twenty-minutes ago, was the last time Cooper had kissed Blaine. It was searing, desperate almost, with the significance of Cooper's departure making tension seep through the room. Cooper had pulled away and stared at Blaine before moving in to kiss him once, twice, three more times, before he reluctantly pulled away, reaching for his suitcase.
No, I don't want to fall in love with you
This love is only gonna break your heart
Cooper slept restlessly for a few more days in his college dorm room, turning time and time again under his sheets, remembering Blaine. He thought of what they had done the entire summer, and how it felt so, so good, but how it was so, so wrong. Could love this powerful be wrong, he thought, before shaking his head. He knew it was wrong, but it would never feel that way to him. It would always feel fine, perfect even. Perfect to see Blaine's face early in the morning, shaded by the curtains which covered the sunlight, his eyelashes fanning over his cheeks, his hand curled around Cooper's waist.
It would always be perfect, no matter how wrong.
It had been four months, seventeen days, and thirty-one minutes since the last time Cooper had kissed Blaine. Making his way up the house, he felt excited, adrenaline rushing through his blood, even with the apprehension that seeped through all of his veins. He and Blaine had drifted apart, slowly, with only a phone to uphold communication. It had been a gradual process, where whispered declarations of love had become 'miss you's, which had them become into weekly phone calls instead of daily ones, weekly turning into nothing at all, no communication, no way for Cooper to tell if Blaine still loved him.
But love like this doesn't fade, Cooper reminded himself. Love doesn't leave you, no matter distance or unspoken words. And with this reminder, he walked into the house, dropping his suitcase, and jogging over into the dining room, where he could hear voices. Pushing a door open, he looked over at the table, seeing his mother and father on either ends of the table, Blaine on one side, and a stranger on the other.
A stranger with brown coiffed hair, piercing eyes and porcelain skin, who looked up at him with questioning eyes, and hastily moved his hand away from the middle of the table, where it held his brother's.
And with that sudden movement, and a sudden shock of realization, Cooper felt his heart break into thousands of pieces, which could never again be re-arranged. He looked over at Blaine, blue eyes looking into hazel ones, questions of love and hurt, betrayal and confusion passing through in mere seconds. Cooper held his gaze, and saw the thousands of emotions go through Blaine. Embarrassment, lost hope, and sadness, telling him he was sorry, but nothing could be done now.
"Cooper, honey," he heard his mom say, pushing her chair away from the table and moving towards him to kiss his cheek, dragging him to a chair next to Kurt, and pushing him down. "You're just in time to meet Blaine's new boyfriend, Kurt."
Cooper looked at the boy next to him again, unable to return the uncertain smile that spread across the pale boys face. He looked back at Blaine, and then down at his plate, when at once, conversation resumed.
And as dinner passed, the shock of seeing what he had come home to, slowly turned into a dull, aching pain.
The pain of realizing that yes, even love like this could fade.
No I didn't want to fall in love
in love
with you