The goblin king offers his opinion on…
Driving
Speed limits and driving laws are things that happen to other people
Marriages
I've only gotten married once. I'm not an expert on the subject, such as, say, Brittany Spears.
Music
No others can stand up against my own music. Unless it's David Bowie, who comes surprisingly close.
Mistakes
Again, those happen to other people.
Children
Somehow, they are always better as goblins.
Elves
Conceited idiots.
Books
There is only one worth while.
Goblins
Rather disgusting, ugly creatures.
Monologues
I don't care what you say, I let her win. The monologue did nothing to me.
Gifts
Never ask for one from a goblin.
Clothing
The tighter, the better, the lower cut, the better, the more leather, the better…
Musicals
On Broadway, or off Broadway, they are still the most amusing things I've seen yet, especially Phantom of the Opera.
Spying
"It's such an ugly word, don't you think?"
Education
Hopefully it's more promising than the Goblin Literacy Program. 'G-O-B'. Ugh.
Government
There is only one true and rightful government. One with me as king.
Hats
I have no clue why they were invented. I shall never need to wear one.
The Environment
I'm doing my part to save the environment. I'm letting Nat have all the gasoline he can drink.
Parents
Such dreadful things. Always teach their children to respect their younger siblings. They're just awful really.
Profanity
I myself don't go much further than, 'Your Mother is a Fraggin' Advark', but if I did it would sound amazing coming from my mouth.
Teens
Such frightfully amusing creatures. Always wanting one thing that they really shouldn't want, and they're always so disappointed when they get it.
Beauty
Only the shallow do not judge by looks.
Dancing
Besides singing, it is the only real use of one's time.
Art
I am like a piece of artwork my self.
He's certainly a piece of something.
Time
Just like the world, it is in the palm of my hands. And Katherine is wrong. I control the time.
Well? Laugh!
*with quotes from Anti-Sarah