Penance

Word Count: ~ 1.800

Summary: Jack turns up at Ianto's flat during his suspension and what follows isn't good.

Characters: Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness, Owen Harper, Toshiko Sato, Gwen Cooper

Pairing: Jack/Ianto

Rating: NC-17

Spoiler: Cyberwoman

Setting: after Cyberwoman

Warnings: Dub-Con (of the "aliens made them do it" kind)

Contains: Sex

Author's Note: Written for dark_fest and the prompt: Torchwood, Jack/Ianto, aliens-made-them-do-it, dub-con. Hope you like it. My first dark-fest … I'm very nervous about this!

Beta: Eleanor Harkness-Jones, thank you. And again: Happy Birthday!

Disclaimer: I'm not making money with this fanfic. The tv-show Torchwood and the characters appearing within it belong to their producers and creators. Any similarities to living or dead persons are purely coincidental and not intended.

xxx

Ianto's back hit the wall and the flat door slammed shut. And Jack's hands were pulling at his clothes and his mouth was on Ianto's and his knee was nudging Ianto's legs apart, demanding to be let in, to be let closer, to…

Ianto gasped and came back to his senses. The shock about Jack's sudden entrance into his home evaporated, overcome by the indignation at Jack thinking they could just go back to how it was before. After three weeks of suspension, Ianto knew that he should have come to Jack about Lisa. And he knew that he'd been wrong in thinking he could save her. But that was certainly no reason to think that Ianto would just let Jack shag him again. That part of their relationship would never recover. After all, Jack's cruel execution of Lisa was still fuelling Ianto's nightmares, and the fact that Jack hadn't come to see him even once since the start of his suspension had made it obvious that he wasn't interested in salvaging their tentative friendship, come office affair. Ianto wouldn't be just a warm body – least of all to Jack.

He turned his head to the side and and took a deep breath, pushing against Jack's shoulders and then, suddenly, he felt… different somehow. Arousal slammed through him and made his knees go weak for a second. He moaned softly and Jack's hands stilled. He looked at Ianto, directly into his eyes, searchingly. Ianto was breathing heavily, pushing Jack away slowly, curling his hands in his lapels and pulling him closer again without having decided to do so. His body just reacted to an instinct, a need… he wanted warmth and friction and harder, deeper, faster, please. He swallowed and shook his head. "What…?" There was a weird scent in the air – sweet and comforting and oh-so-good and he knew it from somewhere… he took another deep breath, closing his eyes and following the scent with his nose alone, finding himself nuzzling Jack's neck. Pheromones. Ianto had smelled it before, during sex with Jack, but the scent had never been this strong, he'd never lost control of himself like this.

"They only serve to make you notice me," Jack had told him once. "They're too weak to actually make you do something you don't want to."

This wasn't good, this was… wrong. Ianto shook his head, leaned back, pulled Jack closer – Jack, who came willingly to press him against the wall; Jack, who just looked at him curiously with wide blue eyes, not doing any touching or kissing anymore as if he'd forgotten what he'd intended to do with Ianto; falling back into the routine they'd had before Lisa was discovered; before she was killed, not a month ago; before Jack had ignored Ianto for weeks, leaving him alone to deal with his grief and his questions and his guilt. Ianto wanted to hit Jack, hit him until he bled all over the hardwood floor of Ianto's tiny hallway in his small flat, kick him until he…

Instead, Ianto pressed his lips against Jack's with a defeated sound, pushing his crotch against Jack's thigh, his half-hard cock impossible to disguise under the thin material of his tracksuit bottoms.

"Ianto," Jack whispered as if he was trying the name out. "Ianto Jones."

The air was heavy with pheromones now and Ianto started to feel dizzy. He put his arms around Jack's neck, leaned closer – he needed more of that scent and he needed, needed Jack to make him come. Jack's fingers traced the seam of his trousers at his back, skimming the skin just very lightly, and Ianto shivered. He wanted Jack so much (didn't want him, oh, God, how could he want that murderer?), so much it hurt… Jack stared at him again and then he pressed closer to Ianto, pushing him back against the wall, crowding him, and his hand slowly directed Ianto's leg, encouraging him to raise it and put hit around Jack's hip. Ianto wanted to scream, to shout, to yell, but he couldn't utter anything but a deep moan when Jack's hand slid between them, cupping his cock and squeezing. Still with that curious, questioning face. Ianto gasped.

Jack smiled. "Is that good, Ianto?"

Ianto shook his head, squeezed his eyes shut, opened his mouth to say, 'No, no, get off me, you bastard.' Instead he only gasped brokenly and tightened his leg around Jack's waist. Jack kissed him and he tasted of lemons and vanilla and it was a strange, heady, sweet combination. Ianto wondered if he was actually tasting pheromones now.

"This is good, Ianto," Jack said softly, pecked his lips and pulled down Ianto's trousers just enough to be able to touch his cock. "This is so good, Ianto."

"Jack…" He didn't feel quite right. Horny beyond belief and straining for release and at the same time… he didn't want this. Couldn't want this. And the pheromones… the pheromones that had always just served to heighten his pleasure were now used as a weapon against him. He felt betrayed, he felt… taken advantage of. He felt tears rise in his eyes as the word rape crossed his mind and he arched when Jack's hand around his cock established a slow rhythm. Ianto panted, "Oh, God, yes! Yes." Just… this wasn't what rape sounded like, right? But then again, he'd been drugged. He didn't want this. Not really. Not… like this.

"Harder, Ianto?" Jack asked.

Ianto could only nod, hold onto Jack's shoulders. He wouldn't last long. Couldn't last long. He whimpered and arched, felt Jack's teeth on his shoulder, biting gently. "Jack," he whispered. "Jack." And then he came and it almost ripped him apart. It was Jack's arm around his waist that kept him on his feet. Jack's body pressing him against the wall.

Once he'd calmed, Ianto looked into Jack's eyes and noticed the oddest thing… his pupils weren't dilated at all and he realized that he hadn't felt Jack's erection once even though they'd been pressed together so tightly. He touched Jack's crotch. Nothing. Not even a tale-telling wetness confirming that Jack had come, too. And he realized that whoever was looking at him through Jack's eyes… it wasn't the man himself. Horror started to gnaw at his insides. "Who are you?" He pulled his tracksuit bottoms up hurriedly.

Jack smiled at him and it seemed fake and… it wasn't Jack's smile. It didn't even reach his eyes. "I just wanted to make it better, Ianto. He hurts." His voice dropped to a whisper. "He feels betrayed, but he also wants you… so badly. I only gave him what he wanted."

Ianto pressed back against the wall. "Leave him." Now that the sexual high had passed, the tears came back with a vengeance. He held them in. "Leave him, now."

His door burst open and Ianto startled. Owen stormed in, his gun pointed at Jack. "Got him!" he called. Gwen and Tosh followed him in, their weapons drawn as well. Owen addressed Jack, ignoring Ianto, "Right, the fun is over."

Tosh left Gwen's side and came to stand by Ianto. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he answered quickly. "That's not Jack."

Gwen nodded. "We know. Sorry about that. He escaped."

Jack kept staring at Ianto with an odd look on his face. As if he didn't quite understand why Ianto wasn't happy about what had happened just a minute ago. "I just wanted to make it better," he said, somewhat sadly.

Ianto snapped, "Well, you didn't!" Jack's face fell. He looked hurt. Ianto added, "You made it worse."

Owen handcuffed Jack and Gwen led him out the door. Owen narrowed his eyes at Ianto. "Did he hurt you?"

Ianto shook his head.

Owen nodded at Tosh and she left. Owen waited a moment, then he stepped closer to Ianto. "You look ready to burst into tears and you're telling me that he didn't do anything?"

"Go away," Ianto answered angrily and Owen stepped back, seeming a bit startled by his vehemence. Ianto didn't care. He just wanted to be left alone. "Leave! Leave now!" He was horrified when his tears started to fall, in front of Owen of all people.

Owen looked concerned. "Ianto-"

"Go!" Ianto turned away.

He heard Owen sigh in irritation. "Alright, but don't think this is over. You're done keeping secrets, understood?"

The silence that followed cut deep.

"I'll be back tomorrow," Owen finally said. "With Jack back in his right mind, hopefully."

Ianto heard him head for the door and turned around hurriedly. "Owen!"

He stopped and looked at Ianto from over his shoulder.

"Don't bring Jack." He hated how weak he sounded.

Owen hesitated for a moment, then he nodded and left, closing the door behind him. Ianto stood in the hallway for a long time, looking at the door. Then he slowly stepped towards it and locked it, putting the chain on for good measure.

Then he had a shower.

When Owen came by the next day, he came alone, telling Ianto that Jack had no memory about the time the Deoo had taken over his body. When Jack called and texted and e-mailed over the next few days, Ianto answered politely, always ignoring the question that ended Jack's messages and phone calls: 'Please tell me what happened.' It wouldn't do for Jack to know. He would just blame himself for something that had been entirely Ianto's fault. He should have fought back harder, he shouldn't have given in to the pheromones, he should have realized sooner that something was wrong. It was his penance for letting Lisa down, for letting the team down, for endangering them.

When he returned to work a week later, he pretended that everything was fine. It worked – for a little while – then Jack caught him staying late one night and touched him for the first time since the incident with the Deoo, staring at strange weather patterns on a computer screen. And Ianto jumped violently.

He didn't know if it was a good thing that Jack didn't seem to notice.

END

03/12