**Hello again! Another small, songfic here. Most likely, in the next few days, I'll be uploading the next chapter of Accidentally In Love! So...stay tuned! J **
**Now this songfic is based off of Wincest again. And I have to say that it's better than my other Wincest fic. (I actually don't like my other Wincest fic. At all. It's sucky. But anytways...) At least I believe so. It's also based off of the song 'Stay With Me' by Sam Smith. It's also in Third Person, but it's mainly focused on Sammy's view of things. I hope you all enjoy!**
Sam ran a gentle hand through his rather long hair, trying to keep it out of his face. He was honestly glad to finally have some alone time, taking in the silence. He pursed his lips as he looked around at his surroundings. He always did love the outdoors.
He and Dean had been fighting more than usual, and it made the younger brother nervous. What if Dean left him? He knew all of...this was probably due to the Mark of Cain but he still had to be the one to try and patch things up between them. Lately, it had been getting a lot harder to do this though. Dean never seemed happy anymore. But neither was he. The life of a hunter really took its toll on people.
The fact that he was in love with his brother also didn't help any of this. It was a secret he'd been keeping for quite a few years now; one that he hoped to take to his grave. He really did want to keep this secret because he didn't think he could even stomach Dean's reaction to his confession. But at the same time...he just wanted to get it off of his chest completely. It was killing him. He was torn.
Guess it's true I'm not good at a one night stand,
But I still need love 'cause I'm just a man.
He's tried. He's tried to move on from his brother. He's tried to follow in Dean's footsteps with all of the one night stands. But he truly isn't good at them. They make him feel awkward and guilty for using women and the occasional man- in such a way. He'd rather have love over one night of pure passion. Yet love never worked for him either.
It started with Jess. He was his first true, pure relationship. God, he had been so in love with Jess. He had planned on proposing to her. He saw a future with her. Two, maybe even three, children, a dog, a white picket fence. A normal life.
But that all came to a tragic end, his dreams going up in flames.
Next was Madison. Sam almost instantly fell for her. She was just such a sweetheart. What he had to do to her pained him. It still did. To this day, it continued to haunt him, and he continued to try and figure out ways to 'change back' a werewolf. And still, he hadn't found any ways. At all. So maybe he couldn't have changed Madison's fate even if he wanted to.
That chance at a normal life came to a sudden halt because of a silver bullet.
Finally came Amelia. He was pretty damn sure that Amelia had been the girl of his dreams; his final chance at a normal life, with a normal girl, a dog, children, and the white picket fence.
That was until Dean came back.
Sam and Amelia had met under odd circumstances, when Sam had accidentally hit a dog, and he just happened to bring it to Amelia's Veterinary Clinic.
The second time they met, both of them were a bit spooked out. Amelia's sink had started to act up, and Sam was the one to go and fix it. It was almost like someone...wanted them to be together. Like destiny kept leading them back to each other. And Sam wasn't one to argue with destiny.
They became close, causing a friendship to start between them. It didn't take long for their friendship to soon turn into love and their relationship took off from there rather quickly. Again, Sam just couldn't argue with destiny.
When Dean came back, everything changed. Including Amelia and Sam's relationship.
Sam had the choice. He had to choose between his brother and Amelia. Both of whom meant a hell of a lot to the younger Winchester. But Dean...Dean was his best friend, his brother, and the love of his life. So it wasn't too hard for him to make his decision.
What was hard for him was knowing that Amelia was willing to leave her husband for him, after she had found out Don (her husband) was alive. It made him feel guilty. It made him feel like he was a horrible human being.
Yet, he still went through with his choice.
Dean.
These nights never seem to go to plan,
I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?
He still remembered that night. They had both drank too much, one thing lead to another, and they woke up next to each other. Naked. It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened the night before. And it concerned both of them.
From that point on, their relationship had really changed. Mainly for the worst. Dean was always trying to hook up with some girl, completely denying the fact that he was either gay, or bisexual. Or...maybe, for Dean, Sam was the only guy he actually loved. And Sam...well he focused mainly on their hunts. He didn't want anymore one night stands.
He looked down at the ground, fixing himself so he was leaning against the Impala a bit better. Why had he started thinking about all of this? Again. He needed to get it off his mind. Yet every single time he was alone, this was the first thing that came to mind. It never failed.
He couldn't even talk to Dean about it. Dean always got so defensive, telling him it was a mistake. A fling. A drunken haze. Either that, or he just changed the subject completely. Sam was tired of trying.
But he didn't want his brother t leave either. He didn't know how to get him to stay, but whatever he was doing so far seemed to work. Things just never went to plan for them, no matter what it was. Sam was sure it was just someone messing around with their life, because this...this couldn't be his destiny.
Oh won't you stay with me, 'cause you're all I need
This aint love it's clear to see, But darling, stay with me.
Sam eventually pushed himself off of the Impala and headed for the door to the bunker, a small, bittersweet smile playing at his lips. He headed into the bunker with a small yawn that he failed to muffle, closing the door behind him. He headed down the long set of stairs, seeing his brother at the table enjoying a sandwich.
"Hey Sammy," Dean spoke up first, giving him a nod of his head as a greeting before he went back to his food. It was like nothing was even bothering the two brothers; as if nothing was wrong. "Where'd you go?" He asked after he had swallowed his bite of food.
"I just...went out for some fresh air," Sam replied with a shrug, his words a bit murmured. It was small moments like this, the two of them having short conversations, that made him realize how much Dean meant to him. That Dean was truly all he needed in his life, which was a good thing, considering his brother was really the only constant thing in his life. Well, there was also Castiel, an angel of the Lord, but Dean had been the one to raise him. Dean had been his guidance throughout life.
So, of course, Dean was his everything.
He snapped out of his thoughts when Dean started talking about some girl he had met, making him cringe internally. By now, he had mastered that. He slapped on a fake smile and nodded along with everything Dean had to say. Dean's words, however, were falling on deaf ears since he wasn't too interested on listening to Dean talk about some girl. It would easily pierce daggers in his already fragile heart. His thoughts began to wander again, causing him to swallow down his emotions.
Why am I so emotional?
No, it's not a good look. Gain some self control.
Sam politely excused himself before he headed to his bedroom. As soon as he had shut the door behind him, his back collided with it. He slid down it, letting his head fall into his hands as he brought his knees to his chest as best as he could. Did Dean really not see how much he was hurting? Because he knew he wasn't that good of an actor.
He sniffled softly as he squeezed his eyes shut tight. He wasn't fast enough though and he soon felt a few tears slip down his cheek, wetting his cheek instantly. He wiped them away with his sleeve, holding back a sob. He couldn't let Dean hear him. He just...had to stay strong.
Why did all of this happen to them? To him?
He pushed himself back up and off of the floor though when he heard a light knocking on the door. He wanted to ignore it but obviously it couldn't. It'd only make Dean more suspicious. Plus Dean knew he was in here, so he'd probably just keep bugging Sam until he answered the door. Where else would he have gone other than his bedroom?
He glanced over at the mirror, getting a quick glimpse of what he looked like. He could still see the tear stains from the few tears that had just fallen, and he mentally cursed himself as he wiped at his face again, trying to get rid of the evidence. He wanted to make sure he didn't look like a complete mess. He fixed his hair again, as best as he could anyways, before he smoothed a hand down his shirt. He figured it was the best he could do, so he let a small sigh slip past his chapped lips before he headed back to his bedroom door.
He put his hand on the doorknob, keeping it there as he gathered his courage. He could hear Dean's mumbled voice on the other side, but wasn't too sure as to what his brother was saying. Probably the obvious, "Let me in Sammy." Or "What's wrong?".
He gave in though and opened the door, his free hand slipping into his back pocket so that he didn't do anything he'd regret; like he hasn't done that before. He also didn't want to look too awkward in front of Dean.
He frowned as he took in his brother's worried features. "Dean...?" He questioned, keeping his voice low. It was enough to snap his brother out of his own thoughts, causing him to look up. Sam was guessing that the mumbling he'd heard earlier wasn't meant for him to hear.
"Are you okay Sammy?" Dean asked, moving into the room a bit more. "You've been acting weird. I mean, weirder than normal," He teased, trying to break the tension with an added wink. "You know you can talk to me, about anything." He added, before he reached forward to place a light hand on Sam's shoulder.
Sam was faster though, dodging the hand before it even came close to him as he let out a small scoff. "That's just it. I can't," He replied, holding up a hand when Dean was about to speak, and interrupt him. "Don't. Don't you dare interrupt me," He growled out. "Let me explain what I mean before you jump to conclusions. As always."
Dean was rather shocked at this point, unable to believe Sam's outburst. But he let his mouth close back up as he gave a nod. He hadn't seen his brother so upset; so...hurt. And he could have sworn he saw a bit of fear flash in his baby brother's eyes.
"I can't talk to you about everything," Sam repeated, moving away from the door and over to his bed. He sat down on the edge of it, letting one hand fist into the bed sheets as if to hide his anger or his fear. "More like one thing in particular. When we-" He couldn't even finish his sentence as Dean was soon interrupting him. That was no surprise.
"This is what this is about? Are you kidding me?" Dean snapped out, clearly not happy. He should have known though. His cheeks were heated up now and he honestly wasn't sure if it was due to him being upset or embarrassed. He didn't regret it but he didn't want Sammy to find out about that.
"Yeah, it is! Because you always get so pissed off when I mention it!" Sam snapped back at him, just as angry as his brother now. "Or you change the fucking subject, like it doesn't even matter. Well guess what? It fucking does!"
Dean flinched at Sam's tone a bit as he looked down at the ground now. Why couldn't Sam just let it go? "Why...why does it matter so much?" He asked after a few minutes of awkward silence settling between them. "We were both drunk and...it was a mistake. That's all it was." He added on quietly, voice a soft whisper. He looked back up at Sam just in time to see the hurt look pass on his face.
"Yeah. A mistake." Sam muttered out as he got back up and headed out of the room. That didn't surprise him since, as he said before, Dean always called their drunken night a mistake. He couldn't be around his completely oblivious brother. It didn't work too well however, as he heard Dean close behind him. He just didn't know what else to say, or how else to respond to that. He was sick of it.
Dean grabbed Sam's wrist with his hand, preventing him from going any further. It also got an annoyed sigh out of Sam. "What's that supposed to mean?" He asked, a slight scoff in the tone of his voice. He still didn't want to talk about it, but it was clearly bothering Sam.
"Now you wanna talk?" Sam questioned, whirling around to look at the shorter male. There was furry in the younger one's eyes, but it softened up and disappeared when he saw the look on Dean's face. "I'm sorry." He whispered out soon after, looking anywhere but at Dean now. This was just so damn hard for him. But what he didn't know was that it was about as equally as hard for Dean. "It's nothing. Just...forget it, man." He mumbled out, brushing past him to hopefully make his way to the front door of the bunker again.
"It's obviously a big deal if it's affecting you this much." Dean pointed out, following after him yet again. He wasn't letting Sam just walk away. He was curious now. Was it really that big of a deal for Sam?
Sam chewed on his bottom lip gently as he connected his eyes with his brother's again. He resisted the urge to let out a groan, as he tried to figure out why he wanted to talk about this with him. He tried to think of what else to say, but without giving away too much. "Dean, we had sex! Of course it's affecting me!" He replied, rubbing a gentle hand over his face as he turned away from him. "You're my brother, and..."
And those words lead to a rather long, meaningful conversation that was full of feelings; feelings that both of them had been trying to avoid for such a long time now.
It was a conversation that lasted nearly three hours, and brought on a lot of tears from both Sam and, surprisingly Dean. But everything was mainly out on the table. Everything was slowly getting off of Sam's chest and he couldn't be happier. So, that was good. But what did it mean for them?
Deep down I know this never works,
But you can lay with me so it doesn't hurt.
Sam rested his head on Dean's chest, a small smile on his lips as he listened to his brother's beating heart. At least Dean had stayed to comfort him. Then again, they both needed this comfort, though they would never actually admit it. The two were just so stubborn. But words were said, actions were done, and feelings were put out there.
He pressed a light kiss to Dean's chest, nuzzling closer to him after he had done so. He pulled the blanket up a bit more to cover them, causing a genuine smile to slip onto his lips. He hadn't smiled genuinely in quite some time. But it didn't help with the life they lead. "Love you." He whispered out, a light blush now taking over his cheeks.
Dean looked down at his brother, running his fingers through Sam's long hair. "I love you too, Sammy," He mumbled out, voice a low rumble deep within his throat. Then he leaned down a bit to press a kiss to the soft hair. "Now enough with the chick flick moments." He added, though his words had no true meaning behind them. Of course he was only kidding. He loved hearing Sam say that. Especially to him. He didn't understand how someone like him...deserved someone like Sam.
The two of them laid there in a comfortable silence as Sam's fingers drew random patterns on Dean's toned stomach. Dean, meanwhile, was still running his fingers through Sam's hair since Sam had kept leaning into his hand. Sam loved when people tended to play with his hair.
It didn't take too much longer after that, considering it was getting late, for the two of them to start drifting off. Sam was safe and asleep first. It was something he always did, even when they were younger. He needed to be the dad for Sam since John sure as hell hadn't been.
Dean pushed those thoughts aside and let his mind be filled with happy thoughts of their future together now. They wouldn't be just brothers and best friends. Maybe now...maybe now they'd actually get the chance to be boyfriends/lovers.
He smiled at that thought before he let out a yawn and soon followed Sam into dreamland. Though now, he was a bit reluctant, since his dreams would never be as amazing as his real life was. Dean just wanted to stay awake to watch his beautiful brother sleep.
Sam truly was all that Dean needed. And Dean was all that Sam needed. As long as they stayed together, as long as they had each other, they'd be fine.
Oh won't you stay with me, 'cause you're all I need.
**And that is it for this fanfiction guys! I didn't realize until I started to write this, just how short of a song this was. There aren't a lot of lyrics, to be honest. And there's a majority of repeating lines, but I did my best! I hope you guys enjoy, and Reviews are always appreciated! Thank you J **