Looks Legit!
Prompts: Sirius Black/Lavender Brown, The Hogwarts Express, Polyjuicepotion
Sirius Black knew he was in some deep shit right now. Deep, and very serious. He had no idea how he had thought that this was a good idea this morning, but here he was, in the middle of nowhere, on the Hogwarts express, using a Polyjuicepotion to pretend that he was actually Ronald Weasley. Dear god, if he ever got out of this alive he would take this secret to the grave.
When Dumbledore had approached Sirius about a potentially dangerous Order of the Phoenix- misson he had immediately jumped on the chance. It had been months since he had last been outside the house and the prospect of seeing some action, of finally doing something good, had been too good to even learn exactly what the mission entailed before accepting it. So when he learned that he had to protect Harry on the way to Hogwarts as Harry's best friend it was already too late. Sirius could only wonder what they had done to the real Ron.
To make matters even worse, Harry had no idea that the person sitting next to him on the train wasn't really Ron. His godson hadn't even noticed that Ron was acting really, really off for some reason. Hermione had looked at him funny, but then went back to listening to that blonde Ravenclaw talk about something that made no sense what so ever. This lack of vigilance in Harry was really disturbing. He'd have to have a chat with Mad-Eye about that later.
Feeling that sudden, but by now very familiar pain in all his joints, he realised that it was time for another dose of the potion. Being a minor and to not being able to carry a pocket flask really sucked. He had been legal for years! But if "Ron" suddenly started to use one it would be suspicious, meaning that he had to find somewhere private every hour.
"Bathroom" he said as he got up.
"Again?" Hermione asked and Sirius could see the suspicion on her face. Luckily, no one else seemed to notice. He really needed to throw her off somehow.
The corridors on the train were just as small as he remembered them. He and James had always hit their heads when they walked through them and apparently so did Ron. It was strange being back here. Everything was exactly the same and at the same time very different. Anyone would've thought that he'd be thrilled to be back at Hogwarts and hanging out with Harry but really it was just weird. Of course, having to pretend that he was actually fifteen probably had something to do with it. Reaching the bathroom he quickly stepped inside and dosed himself for the next hour. But it wasn't until on the way back to the compartment that the real problems actually started.
A sudden squeal rang through the corridor...
"Oh Won-Won! There you are!" before Sirius even had the chance to react to the fact that apparently Ron used to be called "Won-Won", which was absolutely ridiculous by the way, he had an faceful of curvy blonde as the girl jumped him. She was only lucky that they were in a tight space and that he didn't have his wand. He staggered as the girl clung to him.
"Oh, I've missed you so much!" she said, dragging the o in" so" out until it was beyond stupid. Sirius had no idea who this girl was. But then she kissed him on the mouth, tongue and all, and he suddenly got the idea. Why hadn't anyone informed him about this?!
Keeping her arms in a death grip behind his neck she smiled dreamily up at him. It almost reminded Sirius of James pining after Lily. Before he had hit him on the head and told him to get a grip that was! Dear god! Awkwardly he cleared his throat. "Hi, babe...I've, uuh, missed you too."
At this she seemed ecstatic. "You did?!" she squealed again with stars in her eyes.
"Sure!" Sirius replied trying to smile back, trying not to think about how she was young enough to be his daughter and still wondering what her name was. "I've thought about you every day sweetcheeks"
"Then why didn't you reply to any of my letters?" she pouted suddenly, one hand going up his neck to stroke his hair. Sirius repressed a shudder. He had to act more like Ron he reminded himself. It was such a shame that he had absolutely no idea exactly what Ron would do in this situation though. Well, he'd just have to do what every teenage boy would do. Blame the postal system.
"You didn't get my letters?!" he asked with faked surprise, putting his hands on her hips, "But babe, I wrote to you everyday!". He tried to look as horrified as possible at the mere thought that they had been apart more than necessary. Her eyes narrowed in suspicion as she looked at him, "Don't try to lie to me Won-Won" she accused and this time Sirius did look horrified but only at her abhorrent nickname.
"No really!" he assured. Apparently that was all he needed to say as she all but melted against him in an embrace.
"You're so sweet" she giggled.
"...yeah... sure" Sirius replied as he hugged her back. That was really dodging a bullet there. If he messed up anything while posing as Ron it would be impossible to keep the mission a secret. And Harry could never find out.
The hug turned out to be really long one. Just as Sirius was about to actually tell this girl let go already someone turned up in the corridor in front of him. He almost thanked the heavens then, he was saved! Or at least he thought so, but why did Hermione have that weird look on her face?
"HI Hermione!" he said very cheerily hoping that she'd get the hint to save him already. Hopefully she'd do it fast too. But Hermione simply raised one eyebrow at them and said nothing. A horrible realisation started to dawn on Sirius then. The arms around his neck let go and slid down to circle his waist instead as the girl turned to face Hermione too. Her eyes clearly spoke in challenge as she stared her classmate down. Yeah, Sirius was pretty sure he knew what this was now. He had seen that look before, a million times, on different girls. This was not good.
"Hello Hermione" the girl said with a smile that was too wide. The arms around Sirius' waist tightened and she leaned against him. Hermione just rolled her eyes at this.
"Hi Lavender" she replied and Sirius could almost hear the ice in the voice dripping to the floor. He almost winced. Well, at least now he knew the name of Ron's girlfriend. Then Hermione turned that icy stare on him and he actually winced.
"We have prefect rounds to do Ron" Hermione said, ignoring the glare that Lavender gave her.
"Uh, sure!" Sirius replied and started the task of getting out of Lavender's death grip. Lavender pouted again.
"But Won-Won..." she whined and tried to hug him tighter, "Why is she always more important than me?"
"You know I want to stay with you babe, but I have to do prefect's rounds" Sirius had to forcefully bend her arms open to get free of her embrace and step forward. Lavender looked like someone had just drowned a kitty in front of her.
"I'll be back soon, okay angelface?" he tried to smile again and had this been anyone else, anywhere else, AS anyone else he probably would've kissed her too. But there was this whole "young enough to be his daughter and his godson's best mate's girlfriend" so... yeah, NO.
Lavender had other plans though as she pulled him down and gave him the sloppiest kiss he'd ever experienced. "Come back soon honeybun" she batted her eyelashes in a way that she probably thought was seductive. Sirius forced a chuckle and turned to Hermione instead. She looked absolutely disgusted. He tried to grin at her too but she just shook her head and started to walk back down the corridor again. Well, at least she didn't look suspicious anymore. Now he just had to survive doing patrol.
"Since when are you such a sweet talker?" Hermione asked him some minutes later and looked at him, frowning. Sirius blanched at this. He had thought that he had finally thrown her off his strange behaviour. Harry should really learn from her.
"I read a book" he said quickly, giving her a winning grin. Hermione only scoffed.
"A book." she echoed, "Since when do you read? No wait, don't answer that. I don't want to know." She stalked off into the prefect's compartment and Sirius held back a sigh of relief. He had a feeling it wouldn't be the last he heard of this though.
After a patrol where Sirius gleefully docked points from every Slytherin he saw for some reason or another (being a prefect was actually fun, who knew?) they returned to their compartment again. Only to discover that Harry and the others had made some additions to their company. A very blonde addition.
" Finally Won-Won!" Lavender jumped up from her seat and into Sirius arms again making him stumble a bit. She gave him a wet kiss on the mouth and smiled dreamily at him before pulling him down on a seat and positioning herself in his lap. And all of this in matter of just seconds.
" So," Lavender said sweetly as she locked her hands behind his neck and gave him what she probably thought was an intense, loving stare but really just creeped Sirius out (and he had been to Azkaban, for twelve years!) " How was your break Won-Won?"
" Uh... It was really boring" he looked to Harry on the seat next to them to please, please get some backup against this octopus of a girl but Ron's best friend was intently staring out of the window as if the passing green hills outside suddenly had become really interesting. So much for being his father's son. Douche." I missed you too much babe" he gave Lavender a charming smile instead.
Behind her Ginny started making gagging noises." Come on Hermione, we should go change" the youngest Weasley said and stood up. Sirius could only wince at the icy stare that Hermione gave him before they left. As Lavender giggled and rubbed their noses together Sirius knew that it was going to be a long trip.
When they finally rolled into Hogsmeade Sirius had never ever been happier to see that boring platform. At the same time, he was a bit disappointed that nothing had happened during the journey at all. No attempted assassinations or kidnappings of his godson so far and no one had said anything about Ron acting weird. Although he should probably be worried about that. It had all been completely boring and not worth the time at all. He couldn't help but wonder if the Marauders had been this boring too when they were teenagers. He hoped not.
"We're finally here" he muttered under his breath. Now he just had to get rid of the girl still clinging to his arm. She pulled him through the corridor of the train hand in hand. As soon as they stepped out on the platform though he noticed that something was off. The entire Order stood there waiting for them. Lavender stiffened and Sirius looked to her in confusion.
"You'll never take me alive!" the girl hissed and hauled a wand out of her sleeve. She violently pushed Sirius to the ground before she took off running.
"GET HER!" Moody roared and Kingsley, Tonks and several other Order members started running tackling the fleeing Lavender to the ground.
"The Dark Lord will murder you all!" the blonde shrieked as she struggled under all the people trying to restrain her. Sirius only stared in stunned silence as the blonde wig came off and revealed long, tangly black hair instead. He heard Ginny curse behind him. "I knew she was acting weird!"
A hand was suddenly shown in Sirius' face and Harry helped him up.
"Uh, you okay...? Cause you look kinda..." he asked. They both stared at the struggle in front of them and the girl that was very much not Lavender. It was a bit hard to take in to be honest so it probably wasn't surprising that Sirius struggled to find words.
"...Oh Merlin, I snogged my cou- a DEATH EATER!" Sirius cried. Horror couldn't even begin to describe what he was feeling right now. He would need to wash his mouth with bleach when he got home and it still wouldn't be enough. Behind him someone (probably Ginny) choked on a laugh. Harry at least had the decency to look a bit apologetic.
"Weasley!" someone barked and they all jumped to attention as Moody began to limp towards them, magic eye scanning them up and down. "Come with me" he said gruffly and grabbed Sirius' arm.
"Where are you taking him?" Hermione asked as Moody started to drag Sirius away.
"Just taking precautions. She might've Imperiused him"
"Yeah, or something..." Ginny snorted, shaking in silent laughter. Well, Sirius thought as Mad-Eye led him away, at least someone thought it was funny. He was sure that in a couple of year they would all laugh at this. The real Ron would probably think that he really was Imperiused too. Sirius just wished that he had been. Life really wasn't fair. At least he wouldn't have think of a good excuse to disappear now.
As they got closer to the end of the platform they met up with even more Order members. It looked like the entire bloody Order was there! No one looked at them twice though as they passed by, hurrying towards the ruckus that the arrest was causing. As they got off the platform they rounded a corner and Sirius was greeted with the sight of Bill hauling an unconscious Ron into an empty carriage.
"One word about this to anyone and no one will ever find your body" Sirius hissed as they got closer.
"Not if my mother finds out and dismembers us first" Bill replied and closed the carriage door. The thestral took this as it's cue and started to slowly walk up to the castle. The shrieks of death-threats was heard in the distance. All was well.
Thx for reading.
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