I Do Not Own DBZ or any of its characters
I Want You Woman!
"Many years ago, a powerful race called the saiyans started to invade planets all over the universe. They were preparing to kill the tyrant that had been disgracing their race for centuries: Frieza. They wanted to conquer planets and make them into saiyan colonies in which they would migrate to if they failed in defeating Frieza. Earth was one of these planets, and King Vegeta the 1st really liked this planet. When King Vegeta the 3rd finally decided to attack Frieza, their home planet of Vegeta-sei was destroyed, but so was Frieza, thanks to the legendary saiyan warrior: Bardock. The survivors of the war decided to migrate to one of their colonies, and since Earth was their favorite the saiyans moved here. King Vegeta the 3rd, having died in the battle with Frieza, left his reign to his son, King Vegeta the 4th and his son, whom was released from Frieza's slavery, Prince Vegeta. Prince Vegeta was only three when Earth became his permanent planet. The humans stood no chance against the saiyans and as the years rolled by, the humans started admiring the great race. And the great race started appreciating the humans," the Ox King said sitting next to his daughter in his study.
Chichi was 18 years old and in the running for marriage, and when several suitors had tails, she decided to ask her father about it. For some reason, the Ox King was very overprotective and did not want to tell Chichi about their leaders until she was old enough to understand. Now Chichi was ready and the Ox King dreaded the fact that her daughter was going to be married, and quite possibly to a saiyan. "So dad," she said inquisitively, grabbing her beautiful black hair and putting it in a quaint pony tail, "Are these saiyans good or bad?"
"Well Chichi," the Ox King said sighing, "the majority of them are pompous ruffians who want strong women for just a night. But just like there are good human beings and bad human beings, there are also good saiyans and bad saiyans."
"How can you tell the difference?" Chichi said, "how will I know if the saiyan wanted me as a trophy or if he really loved me?"
"I have a lot of saiyan friends, and I know the difference but it's very uncomfortable for me. Kami if your mother was still alive she would have this conversation with you."
"But she's not so you're gonna have to do it father," Chichi added firmly.
"Well if the saiyan is in love with you and intends to bond with you for life, then they have a sparkle in their brown eyes, their hair spikes up higher, their tails fluff up, and you can hear a soft puff emanating from their throats," the Ox King explained quite uncomfortably.
"Yeah but how can a saiyan know who they're gonna spend their life with if they don't take the time to meet the girl? Every saiyan that has courted me only wants sex…" the Ox King flinched uncomfortably at the word coming from his little girl's mouth, "so how do they know?"
The Ox King sighed and scratched his head 'Kami help me' he thought. "Saiyans have special instincts, they chose the woman they want from the day they were born. When the woman 'of their dreams' actually shows up, they know."
"Wow, that's really different from humans."
"Yes very much, that's why I would prefer if you marry a human."
"No dad," Chichi said sternly, "I will chose my mate and no one else. If he turns out to be human fine, and if he turns out to be a saiyan, then so be it. Besides I'm a little intrigued about these saiyans, I would like to meet one up close."
"Chichi!"
"Ooo!" Kakkarot exclaimed stuffing his face with another bite of food, "so good!"
"Kami Kakkarot," Vegeta said firmly, "you're eating with the Prince of all saiyans, have some manners!"
Krillin chuckled and said, "loosen up Vegeta we're at a damn strip club, most of these perverts are human, they're too ignorant to recognize you."
"True," Vegeta said, "but if they're all perverts, why are WE here?"
"Cuz…the food…is damn good!" Kakkarot mumbled food spilling out of his mouth.
Vegeta groaned and Krillin chuckled louder. "I'll be the judge of that," Vegeta said taking a pizza from the center. His eyes widened as the taste enveloped his mouth, "oh fuck!"
"Yeah a friend recommended it to me," Krillin said, "I only come here for the food not the bimbos."
"Speaking of bimbos," Vegeta said, "Kakkarot have you gotten any yet?"
"Gotten any what?"
Vegeta and Krillin groaned and said, "women!"
"Huh? No, what would I do with a woman?"
Vegeta and Krillin fell over anime style, they couldn't believe that Kakkarot actually didn't know what they meant. "So you've never been with a woman before?" Krillin inquired.
"Yes, like in sparring and during guard shifts," Kakkarot said innocently.
"Oh Kami," Vegeta said, "what about your destined woman?"
"Oh yeah, I don't know why I keep dreaming of that woman. She has no face, she's just sweet, and innocent, but a tough fighter. Oh yeah and she can cook, but I don't really know who she is and why I want to meet her."
Vegeta rubbed his temples and Krillin just gaped at Kakkarot incredulously. Vegeta had two misfits as personal guards: Krillin himself was the shortest saiyan and now he finds out that Kakkarot, his seemingly normal guard, is probably the dumbest, most naïve man in the universe. Although this was the case, Vegeta didn't seem to care and just burst out laughing calling Kakkarot an idiot. Krillin joined in on the laughter when he imagined Kakkarot's future mate teaching HIM everything he had to do. Poor Kakkarot would be so confused.
Kakkarot pouted at the laughing and said, "who's your dream woman big shot?" Evidently, Kakkarot thought that they were laughing at his dream woman when they were actually laughing at his naïveté.
Vegeta just ignored it and said, "Kakkarot I've been with and courted a lot of women, and they're all trash. I know I will never find my dream woman, she just doesn't exist."
"Well who is your impossible dream girl then?" Krillin said.
"I want a woman with fire and soul," Vegeta said making Krillin and Kakkarot giggle, "lemme finish assholes!" They both cleared their throats and sat up straight as if apologizing. "I want a woman who isn't scared to tell it how it is, even if it means defying me."
"Well of course a woman like that doesn't exist," Krillin said laughing, "if she cherishes her life then she won't do something like defy or insult the prince of all saiyans."
"Exactly, that's why I probably will never find a mate, I rather stay alone for the rest of my days then be with a clingy, stupid woman."
"I always believed that our other halves are out there somewhere," Krillin said, "you're soul mate is out there somewhere, you just gotta look."
"Yamcha you fucking asshole!" Bulma screamed slapping the scarred faced handsome young man right in the face. Bulma being the daughter of the greatest scientist in the world, possibly the universe, wasn't going to let any one soil her honor or dignity. Yamcha was a strong fighter, but he was a human so naturally the slap stung and the marks of Bulma's hand were marked on his face.
"Babe," Yamcha pleaded, "it was a mistake."
"A mistake?" the blue-haired beauty said sarcastically, "three fucking times?"
"Look I was drunk, Maron took advantage of me."
"Oh yeah, but you were very sober the other two times you fucked that bimbo!"
"Please Bulma, give me a chance to…"
"No! Once a cheater, always a cheater! I tell it how it is Yamcha and the truth is you were beginning to bore me," Bulma said defiantly.
Yamcha whimpered and said, "please?"
"Get the fuck out of my sight and go back to your slut."
"She's pissed cause I made her lose her boyfriend," Yamcha said lamely, "she won't take me back."
Bulma just broke out laughing and said, "consider yourself lucky to be alive, her ex-boyfriend is one of the strongest saiyans on the planet, he's the second strongest in the royal guard." Yamcha gulped visibly making Bulma smirk in satisfaction. "He didn't hesitate to blast Maron's head off and he better not find out you were the guy she cheated on him with…"
"AHHH!" Yamcha screamed running away, "please don't tell him! I gotta hide!"
Bulma snickered and watched her cheating ex-boyfriend run away. She knew that Maron's ex-boyfriend wouldn't actually hurt Yamcha, even though he was a saiyan. "There's Krillin for you, strong as hell, but would never hurt a fly."
"What about you runt?" Vegeta said to Krillin who scowled at the insult. "Did you ever get laid after that foolish woman Maron cheated on you with Kami knows who."
"She's not foolish," Krillin defended, "she was a sweet girl but a whore nonetheless. She actually taught me more than she hurt me."
"Really?" Vegeta said sarcastically, "and what was that?"
"That I don't not need bitches like that in my life," Krillin said, "thanks to Maron I finally have a clear idea of who my dream woman is."
"And who is it?" Kakkarot interjected taking another bite of his pizza.
"Maron was a whiny weakling and a crybaby," Krillin started, "I need a woman who is tough as nails, who can kick ass and never takes 'no' for an answer."
"Sounds a lot like a saiyan," Vegeta said, "I doubt you'll ever find a human like that."
"True, I have yet to find a saiyan woman who has all those qualities, so I can forget about looking at humans. There are no human females like that, it's just impossible."
18 grabbed the drunk man by the shirt and pulled him to her face, "listen asshole, you do not touch any of the women in my strip club!" 18 doesn't remember how she ended out owning the place, but she remembers how she ended out there. Her parents had abandoned her and her twin brother at the door of some rich general's house. He was the commander of the great Red Ribbon Army as well as an excellent scientist. Dr. Gero cared about no one but himself, and taking in a blonde-haired angel with icy blue eyes, and a dark black-haired handsome stud with the same icy eyes was just what Dr. Gero needed to make himself look generous in the eyes of the public. No one knew him behind closed doors. 18 did, and her brother 17 certainly did too. Dr. Gero had named her Juuhachigou and her brother Junnanagou, but they couldn't keep those names after years of Dr. Gero's abuse. They were beaten everyday, so 18 and 17 trained hard behind closed doors. After the saiyans, and the Namek Piccolo, her and her brother were the strongest fighters in the world. When they were 17 years old, Dr. Gero sold 18 to the owner of the biggest strip club in town. 17 was so enraged he killed Dr. Gero and went into hiding from the police. He tried in vain to get 18 out of this dreadful place, so he ended out hiding somewhere nearby waiting for another chance.
The last time the blonde angel had seen her brother, he had changed his name to the age he was when he finally became free to control his own life, hence the name 17. 18 hated the pimp who stole her youth and purity. It wasn't until she was 18 that she killed the horrid man and took the strip club for herself. She did the same as her brother and changed her name to 18. However, different than any strip club owner, she made the rule 'look but don't touch.' It was only natural that she punched this drunkard straight in the face when he grabbed one of the strippers' butts.
Her rough action caught the attention of all the other pervs who were drooling over the women, even the three saiyans sitting at a table nearby. "She's a feisty one," Kakkarot said watching the fight intently. The woman was relentless and the drunk man was knocked almost instantly.
"She's strong for a human," Vegeta said, "and a woman at that." Both saiyans' ears perked when they heard a strong purring sound coming from behind them. They knew what that meant, a saiyan has found his mate. They turned around to see Krillin looking at 18 lustfully with a sparkle in his brown eyes. His very fluffy tail wagged around excitedly. "Uh oh," Vegeta said sarcastically, "looks like the human is gonna have some major trouble now."
18 resumed her position behind the bar and started drying glasses that needed to be reused. She heard two of the waitresses giggling about something behind her.
"Oh my Kami Rachel, she's like an animal," one waitress said.
The one she called Rachel started giggling and said, "it's like she hates men or something, I wouldn't be surprised if she was a lesbo."
18 grit her teeth and continued to eavesdrop. The other waitress laughed and said, "it's probably because no man wants her!"
18 clenched her fists and turned on the women grabbing each one by the collar of their shirts. The girls yelped and faced her in pure horror. "I am not a lesbian, and no man is strong enough to be with me. The only man that could be with me is a saiyan." The girls gasped at the audacity of the comment, no human dared to say that they were good enough for a saiyan. "That's right," 18 said smirking, "I'm not scared of anyone or anything, so next time you wanna talk, you will meet my fist!" The girls cried as 18 simply threw the girls aside sending them crashing through the walls. "And you're paying for the repairs out of your paycheck bitches!" 18 swirled around at a small chuckle she heard from behind her. Krillin sat at the bar watching her intently…