This is a collection of (short, occasionally very short) drabbles, of any and all Organization XIII pairings (excepting Xion, but including Namine), each based off a different word. Feel free to request a pairing/word if you'd like! ^^

I apologize in advance for all the despressing drabbles; I seem to find it easier to write all those negative emotions than to write positive, fluffy pieces. I'll do my best to break that up, though. ^_~

Warnings: The following drabbles may contain yaoi, yuri, hetero pairings, first person monlogues, implied sex, rape, swearing, angst, melodrama, abuse, kinks, fluff, crack pairings, mildly out of character characters, love, lust, hate, apathy, hallucinations, ridiculous settings, and/or stream of consciousness inner monologues. Read only as directed. You should not read if you are prone to disgust at or nosebleeds from malexmale or femalexfemale pairings, or if you are or may become an over-obsessed fangirl (or fanboy).

I don't own Kingdom Hearts, obviously.

Chapter 1: Torn - Zexion and Demyx

"You're leaving."

It was a statement, not a question. Demyx ignored it. After all, how many times had Zexion ignored him? It was his turn to be the bastard, Zexion's turn to feel the hurt of being ignored.

Zexion was silent for a long moment after speaking. Demyx could feel his eyes on his back, and repressed a shiver, being careful not to turn around. It had been so hard to come to this decision in the first place. If he took just one look at the other's pained expression or silently defeated gaze, it would shatter his resolve entirely, just like all the other times he'd tried to go through with this. He was just too weak to stand up to Zexion, too weak to dare something like this without all his mind focused on how it would be good for him to leave.

The trouble was, he knew it wouldn't be so easy, nor would it be painless. He really, really liked Zexion, after all, liked him despite how often the other ignored him, or called him an illiterate idiot, or forgot their meetings, or criticized his lyrics, or neglected to stay until he woke up on those rare nights they spent together, or any of the thousand other irritating habits he had.

If he left...no, no. When he left. When he left...well, it would be difficult, difficult to follow through, difficult to stay away, difficult not to let himself fall into the depression that had been haunting him for quite a while, now. Zexion was his everything, and here he was, leaving.

Just like the last five times he'd tried.

This time would be different, though. This time he would leave, really leave, for good. This time a sigh or a disappointed look wouldn't pull him back. He simply couldn't stay any longer; couldn't take any more of Zexion's coldness towards him.

Maybe...maybe if he left, maybe Zexion would realize how sad his life was without Demyx...

And maybe he wouldn't even really notice.

Demyx swallowed hard, feeling his stomach twist into an even more complicated knot than it had been. Could he really matter that little to the other? Memories of all the times that Zexion had left him waiting, forgotten, ignored, flashed through his mind. He so rarely bothered to show up these days when they planned a time to meet that Demyx had stopped trying to plan such things altogether.

What had happened? What had changed? The Zexion he'd first met, the one he'd devoted his existence to, was nowhere to be found in the Nobody he now spent time with. Or...or had that Zexion just been a dream, a mere figment of his imagination, formed because of his desire to have someone to be close with?

Or...had Zexion simply been using him the whole time, and was now growing tired of him?

He just didn't know, and that scared him.

His mind on his thoughts rather than what he was doing, Demyx didn't notice the book of music slipping off the stack he held in his arms until it fell to the ground with a thunk. Jumping at the noise it made in the otherwise silent space, the blond lost his grip and the rest of the stack joined the fallen book on the floor.

Growling in the back of his throat – to seem so clumsy, in front of Zexion! - Demyx crouched down and began to restack the books and loose sheets of paper, heedless of order or organization. He just wanted to get out of there, out from under Zexion's considering gaze and the weight of his memories.

"Do you want some help?"

"No!" Demyx snapped, turning slightly to glare up at the impassive Zexion who stood just behind him. He hadn't noticed he'd approached, he'd been so lost in his thoughts. "I don't want your help!"

Before the other could cause his resolve to waver, Demyx turned his glare back on the books and sheets of music, stacking them even faster. Any moment he expected the other to start talking about how it would only be logical to accept his help, or some crap like that.

Any minute now...

But silence continued to reign, far longer than Demyx had expected. His stacking slowed; long moments after he'd anticipated hearing the other's voice, he paused and turned, to see why the other wasn't responding.

The room was empty. Zexion was gone.

Demyx slumped back to sit on the floor, staring in disbelief at the open doorway. He'd just...left? That was it? Just, poof, gone? No goodbye, no apology, not a single word even to say he was going? Just silence, and Zexion was gone.

He...he didn't care about him at all, did he?

Demyx swallowed hard in an unsuccessful attempt to make the restricted feeling in his throat go away and turned back to his stack of music, staring disconsolately at the untidy tower.

It was one thing to consider that Zexion didn't want him anymore; entirely another to feel, in his very bones, that the other could care less whether or not he was there at all.

So. Axel had been right. Zexion only...only used people. That was the only explanation Demyx could come up with, bitter as it was. Zexion had used him, had used him for whatever he'd wanted, and now was throwing him away like an old, battered doll. What they'd had, together, meant nothing to him. Had he ever been sincere, even once? Demyx doubted it.

Swallowing the bit of bile that had crept into the back of his mouth, the blond gathered up the stack and pushed himself to his feet, blindly carrying it out into the hall and into his own room, a few doors down and across the hall. No one was around; his faint hope that Zexion had gone to wait in there was extinguished as he glanced around his room and found it empty.

The blond drew in a wavering breath and let the pile of music in his arms fall onto the bed, heedless of the way it scattered across the covers. What was the point? Zexion wasn't there to scold him about treating books in such a cavalier manner, or to scoff and pick them up himself.

He wouldn't ever be there to do that again.

Demyx leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes. How could he have been so dumb, so blind?Why hadn't he seen what Zexion was doing? Why hadn't he realized that he was just using him, like a stupid puppet?

Why was it that he didn't care?

Sighing, he let himself slide down to a sitting position and wrapped his arms around his knees. Maybe Axel had been right. Surely Zexion was bad for him; the way he'd used him should have been purely sickening and revolting, right? He should have been horrified to realize it. Should have been disgusted and glad that he'd left...

So why was it that the only thing he felt was regret?

He couldn't go back now. It wasn't an option. Maybe...maybe if he'd still been able to believe that Zexion actually cared for him, he could have...but he didn't. That much was clear. The times he'd ignored him, forgotten about him, put him down and made him feel terrible, those hadn't been mistakes. Of course. Zexion never made mistakes. How could he have believed that those times weren't on purpose; how could he have expected Zexion to not have meant to hurt him, and to have apologized for doing so?

No, he wasn't going back. He would be better off alone, no matter how much he wished to be back in Zexion's arms again, letting his slate-haired lover soothe away his fears and insecurities with his gentle voice and soft caresses. Axel was right. He didn't want to be with Zexion anymore.

He didn't.