I'll Carry You Home

By: marauderette-47

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter

A/N: Written for Cierraluv97's FanFiction Idol - Round 2. We were given song lyrics, and mine were "So if by the time the bar closes, and you feel like falling down I'll carry you home tonight". I've always liked that song, so I was ecstatic when it was my prompt:) I think of the words symbolically - the bar could symbolize childhood, and when you feel like you're going to fail, you have someone there to be your rock. In this case, James is struggling with the idea of becoming a father and Sirius is there for him. I hope everyone enjoys the fic, and please review!

The air was crisp and cold on the Saturday evening our story begins. The wizards standing outside the Hogshead Pub swore to themselves that it was cold enough to snow, but it had been stated much earlier in the week that no snow was expected to fall until at least late November. Still, the brisk winds sent shivers up the spines of everyone walking along the old roads, and a few people were rubbing their bare arms, where goosebumps were forming. The nearly-full pub was lit warmly with candles, and everyone inside basked in warmth. Loud laughs echoed to the people waiting for entry outside, and men sitting at old wooden tables toasted their goblets to whoever had been in the Daily Prophet that morning.

Sitting towards the back of the Hogshead were two much quieter men, sipping Firewhiskey from their goblets and not meeting each other's eyes. They had been that way for ten minutes, never speaking a word. Those in the pub who knew these two men - known as James Potter and Sirius Black - were slightly stunned at their demeanor. Everytime the two friends came in for a drink, they were the loudest of all the people. No one could figure out the reason for the silence coming from the young wizards, but most of the people who even noticed were too drunk to care.

Finally, Sirius Black could take the silence no longer. He sat down his goblet with a little more force than necessary, causing some of the bronze colored liquid to splash out of it. James was still drinking his own bit of whiskey, not even looking at his best mate.

"James," said Sirius, waiting until James met his eyes before he continued. "Come on. We've been in here long enough - what is it you wanted to talk about?"

It took James a very long time to answer. He turned his face towards Sirius while keeping his goblet in front of his nose. His eyes traveled his friend, noticing how tired he looked. There were bags hanging beneath his soft gray eyes, and his hair was disheveled and greasy. Had he not been getting enough sleep? Probably - he was such an active member of the Order...they'd probably been sending him on so many missions that James didn't even know about. He could only guess the toll they were taking on Sirius's health.

"Lily hasn't been feeling very well," mumbled James, setting down his goblet and running a hand through his hair.

"Is she sick?" asked Sirius, his voice instantly laced with worry - he knew how much James adored and loved his wife. He hoped with everything in him that Lily was alright - if she wasn't, he wasn't sure that James could go on.

"She's been throwing up," admitted James quietly, his eyes travelling down to the old wood of the table at which they were seated. "In the morning...and she's been eating a lot..."

Sirius wasn't dim - he knew exactly where this was heading. "You don't think she's...?"

James looked up at Sirius again, almost looking as though he could cry. His face was contorted in pain as he whispered, "We should have been more careful."

"Maybe she's just sick," tried Sirius, his tone not the least bit sarcastic. "Maybe she's just sick, and it's something that'll go away in a month."

"Or maybe she's not and it'll go away in nine," replied James icily.

"But how is she...?" but Sirius trailed off when he saw the look he was getting from James.

"How does anyone get pregnant, Sirius?" said James venemously. "What, didn't your mum have the talk with you?"

"No," replied Sirius, looking downcast. "You're mum did."

James instantly felt guilty - he was letting his own self loathing affect Sirius, and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt his best mate. "Sirius, I didn't mean-"

"It's okay," said Sirius, allowing a small smile to appear on his face. He didn't seem to understand why James was so unhappy about becoming a father - Sirius was ecstatic! His face lit up with a grin, making him look fifteen again. "Mate, that's wonderful! Congratulations!"

"What's so wonderful about it?" spat James angrily, casting a glare at Sirius. "In what way is this wonderful, Padfoot?"

"In what way isn't it?" asked Sirius, confusion evident in his tone. "James, you're getting everything you've always wanted! You've got Lily, of course, but now you're going to get a little bundle of joy along with her!"

"In the middle of a war!" hissed James, a single tear falling from his hazel eyes. "Lily and I have doomed this child, Sirius! This poor, helpless little baby is going to have to grow up fighting for its life! You've heard Dumbledore, you've seen the papers - more and more people are dying everyday!"

"James," said Sirius quietly. "If anyone can take care of this child, you and Lily can. I know the way you are - you'll take care of it with your life."

"Mate," whispered James pathetically. "I'm only nineteen. I can barely take care of Lily - how am I supposed to take care of a kid? I'm only a kid myself!"

"James, you haven't been a kid since you were seventeen." explained Sirius seriously, taking another sip from his goblet before continuing. "You matured a lot for Lily then - and you've kept that maturity. You can handle this, I know you can."

James didn't respond - he merely looked past Sirius, and out the window. In the street, illuminated by the stars, he saw a man and a woman, walking hand in hand. The woman was holding a small child in her arms, and the man was dragging a suitcase behind him. Their eyes darted left and right, as if they were looking for a place to stay. James's heart went out to them, and he could only wonder if that would be him and Lily in a little under a year - chased out of their home by Death Eaters, looking for someplace to keep their family safe. He finally tore his glance away from the window, and he went back to Sirius. "That means a lot, but I'm afraid I'm just not as confident as you seem to be."

"I'm here for you, James." said Sirius, reaching his hand out to touch James's shoulder soothingly. Tears began to pour from James's eyes in anger, and Sirius kept trying to make him feel better. "I know that none of this is going to be easy, but you'll get through it. You have me and you have Lily and you have your parents and now you have this little baby on the way - none of us will let you fall."

A few Firewhiskeys later, the tears finally stopped. By the time James and Sirius were ready to leave Hogshead, it was well past three in the morning. Most of the pub was empty, save a few elderly wizards playing a game of Wizard's chess. James was unsteady on his feet when he tried to stand up, and Sirius put his arm his shoulder and led him out into the cold night air. He took James all the way home - he wouldn't just leave him. James was his best friend, and Sirius would have done anything for him. Helping James home from the bar was symbolic to Sirius in a way - for in a way, he was helping his brother make the transition into adulthood. He knew how frightened James was of fatherhood - he would be, too. But he knew that things would somehow work out...they always did.

So if by the time the bar closes

And you feel like falling down,

I'll carry you home

Tonight.

So that's that! I hope you all enjoyed it, and pretty please review(: