The insanity of it all amazes me. The clouds of cigarette smoke wafting out through bathroom door, the drunken yells of the football team, girls in only their bra and underwear. And then there is me standing here in the kitchen wondering why I let Megan drag me here so stupid, so, so stupid. I turn around one of the guys on the football team is watching me he walks over to where I am, he smells like alcohol, cologne and burnt weed. He is definitely drunk probably stoned and yet he is smiling at me like I am the only person in the room, I smile back. He grabs my hand "lets go get a drink" he says "you look like you've had enough already," I say, but I follow him anyways. Two hours later we are sitting on the swing set outside, in an empty part of the yard, he kisses my cheek and suddenly were making out and the were on the ground and my shirts off and so is his and then his hand is clamped over my mouth "shhh its okay" he says. I will never forget, I will never tell, and if I had the choice I would never talk again just like he said "shhh."