Sima Yi sits in a table with his family in it along with others. He sits sighing deeply as Sima Zhao flies over his head. Jia Chong and Wang Yuanji run behind him yelling. Zhong Hui runs behind him twirling a hair strand talking, but the other people yelling drowns his voice out. Xiahou Ba flies over him with his rocket spear thing screaming. Guo Huai runs coughing behind him. Sima Yi puts his elbow on the table and has his head rest on his hand. Across from him is Sima Shi with a bowl of meatbuns and he continuously eats them and it seems like the bowl was endless. The only people that were actually sitting in the table was Deng Ai, Zhuge Dan, Zhang Chunhua, and Wen Yang. They were playing cards.
"I raise fifty."
"I raise fifty-six."
"I raise a hundred."
"I fold."
"I fold too."
"Goldfish." The three looked at Wen Yang and he looks around confused. "Wait, what were we playing?"
Sima Yi looks off with bored eyes. The sound of a door opening is heard behind him and Cao Cao walks in to plop a stack of paper next to him. He walks out without saying a word. Sima Yi sits up and groans at the stack before him. Cao Cao comes back to drop more paper on the table. Sima Yi angrily loks at the paper and says,"Hey, these are meant for Xun Yu, Guo Jia, and Jia Xu! What happened to them?!"
"Xun Yu is promoting DW8 Empires, Guo Jia is on a date, and Jia Xu is sleeping."
"Hey, I am busy as well!"
"You were just sitting here. Now, I'd like these by next week." He walks out and Sima Yi drops his head onto the stack of papers with a loud groan.
"I wish the world ended now... I am going out for some fresh air." He gets up to walk out of the building. He stands outside and takes a deep breath.
"Haaaaaaaaaaaa-" A bright light hits his eyes and he covers his eyes. "Nnnrrrgh!" The light disappears to have Kaguya appear.
"Hello. Sima Yi. We meet again."
"What do you want now, Kagura?"
"Kaguya."
"Yes, Kagura."
"Kaguya."
"Kagura. Why are you saying your name so much? So narcissistic, I say."
"KAGUYA."
"Alright, what do you want, Kagu-YA?"
"Judgement. I have been helping a felon with the law of Heaven for a while, I am to repent by giving you judgement."
"Huh?" Kaguya raises her leaf branch up to create a very bright light in front of Sima Yi's eyes. Light covers the background as the camera zooms up into his eyes.
Sima Yi appears out of the bright light lying down in rubble. He groans and gets up slowly.
"Nrrgh... what the heck did she do now...?" He stands up to find himself surrounded by run-down buildings and pieces of walls lying on the ground.
"This looks like Luoyang, but... why is it destroyed...?" Kaguya appears next to him in a bright light.
"Behold the future."
"THIS is the future?! But... This isn't what it is supposed to be! Wasn't Cao Cao's rule that made this kingdom prosper?!"
"He is still human and unfortunately, no matter how much he fought, he was eliminated."
"Wait, what? He's dead here?"
"Why yes. The invaders had to kill him in order to establish dominance in this world."
"Invaders?"
"Alien invaders. Look over there." She points at a group of aliens dressed in armor and carrying advanced weapons, killing humans due to their inferior warfare.
"How did this happen?! I thought..."
"Killing one giant group of aliens won't deter the rest out there."
"Why am I here?"
"This is your punishment. You are to live in this horrid future until you begin to see your wrongdoings and beg for forgiveness. Oh, and people in this world won't see you as your young, handsome self, but this." She takes out a mirror and Sima Yi sees himself as a very grotesque old man.
"Ahhhh! What the hell is that?!" He punches the mirror and Kaguya responds,"Well, you will have an easy time here if you remained pretty. I had to change a few things."
"Change?! That looks like... if you ran over Dong Zhuo with five horses!"
"Huh. I think that was what I was going for... Everyone in this universe will see you as that thing. Only I and anyone watching us can see your original pretty form."
"What did I do to deserve this?"
"Let us see... Crimes against humanity, war crimes, domestic abuse, murder, and a bunch more."
"What made Nu Wa to finally punish me then?"
"You failed to give her an offering and a prayer last month."
"Come on! I performed crimes against humanity and she finally punishes me the moment I forget worshipping her?!"
"Why yes, worships from humans are what give the gods their meaning. Now, goodbye. I will see you in a few days to see your progress." Right when she said that, an alien tackles her down along with other aliens surrounding them.
"Well, well... Looks like we have two more humans to purge off this earth!"
"Hey! I'm not human! He is!"
"What are you then?"
"I am an... Asari... Yes, an Asari!" The aliens all nod at each other.
"Asari are pretty nice people."
"I once dated one."
"All Asari are hot." Kaguya gets released and one alien asked,"Wait, why aren't you blue?"
"I am in a human disguise made by my people." The aliens all make noises of understanding. They then turn to Sima Yi.
"So, we can just shoot this ugly-ass old man? Alright!" The aliens take out very advanced guns and swords and walk towards Sima Yi.
"Kaguya! You bitch! You sold me out!"
"Life isn't supposed to be easy!"
"You're a time traveling immortal little girl!"
"Woman."
"My ass! How in the world can you understand life?! Where the hell is my weapon-S*bleep*! It 's back at home! In the past or present or whatever!" The aliens sneer with their weapons and were about to take aim until a dash zips past them. Their weapons or some aliens were sliced apart.
"W-What the hell was that?"
"Gah!" One of the alien thugs had a glowing blade protruding out from its stomach as it shakes in fear. The blade move upwards, slicing his head and chest. The split body falls down and the remaining aliens run away screaming.
"You will not escape me..." Another streak speeds past the fleeing aliens and they were cut at the waist in half. The ground was soaked in blood and littered with alien body parts. Kaguya looks at the ground with widen eyes.
"They are here..." Sima Yi looks up and angrily asks her,"Who's here?! Are they going to kill me?"
"Do not worry. These two are protectors of the weak. Let us turn to look at them." The two turn around to see two tall gruff men holding glowing swords and wearing ragged cloaks. One had black hair and it was tied into a messy ponytail along with a weirdly well-groomed stubble beard. His left eye is closed with a vertical scar running down it. The other had very long brown hair and had poorly groomed stubble on his chin. Sima Yi looks at them with widen eyes and mouth absurdly wide open.
"...Uhhh... I think they look familiar to me..."
"They should. After all... They're your descendants..."
"My grandchildren?! Damn, how far into the future are we-"
"No. Your sons." Sima Yi stares at Kaguya with a forced smile. He laughs weakly,"Haha... Hah-ha... No way... You are joking with me... No way those two are my sons..." He sweats a lot and gives the two gruff men in front of him a stare before turning back to Kaguya.
"How many years are we into the future...?"
"About... Six years."
"SIX YEARS?! Six years turn my boys into... those two over there...?"
"This future is very harsh, so they eventually had to adapt."
"...I... What happened...?"
"Again, aliens."
"Why weren't they driven back?!"
"I can't tell you. You have to speak with your future sons now. Goodbye." She disappears in a ball of bright light. The two gruff men approach Sima Yi.
"Are you hurt?" asked the black haired man.
"No... Can you tell me what are you two's names...?"
"I am Sima Shi. This one here is Sima Zhao."
"Now I really confirmed it..." Sima Shi comments,"Huh, you dress like my late father. Where did you get those clothes?"
I'M your father! Great, they can't recognize me in that old man disguise. "I am your father. Sima Shi and Sima Zhao stared at him before getting into his face with glowing red eyes.
"Do not attempt to lie to us, old man! Our father died six years ago!"
"You have some nerve going around saying you are Sima Yi!"
Oh my god, these two got my scary glare! I am both proud and wanting to shit my trousers right now! "Wait... what do you mean your father died...?"
"None of your business. Now, you are an elderly man, so you have to be taken in by a safehouse. We will escort you to one."
"I am fine-"
"You are an imbecile for staying here. Now get going!"
"Alright!"
Sima Yi along with his future sons walk down a dark flight of stairs leading into a large room lit by candles. There were peasants and injured humans lying in beds around the circular room. There were familiar people standing around tending to wounds or looking at their weapons. Sima Yi stares at each person and asks Sima Shi,"Who is that one...?" He points to a man with long black messy hair with metal structures replacing half of his face.
"He is the former ruler's son, Cao Pi." Sima Yi chokes on air and turns sharply to get another look at the metal faced man again.
What the fuck?! Six years did that to him?! Oh god, I wonder about everyone else... A woman with a metal leg walks past him. Her black hair was shaved on one side of her head. There was a beauty mark on her left eye. Sima Yi looks at her with widen eyes.
"God, these years have NOT been good to anyone in here..." He sees a man with two eyepatches on both of his eyes. His hair was spiky along with some grey tipping the points. He had a beard that was partly grey as well.
"...Xiahou Dun looks better than everyone else in here surprisingly..." He walks past a perfectly unchanged Xu Huang.
"Don't know who that is." He finally comes to a door that Sima Zhao opens for him and Sima Shi. It was a smaller room with a few beds.
"Now, we will have someone take a look at you. Just lay on one those beds." Sima Shi leaves, leaving Sima Yi to take a seat on a bed. He talks with himself,"This has to be a dream... everyone looks way too different. Ah, I can just go to sleep here to wake up in reality. Simple as that." He lies on the bed and closes his eyes.
Sima Yi opens his eyes to quickly sit up to find he was still in the same room.
"Damn, it wasn't a dream. This is reality for me now..."
"We all wish this wasn't a reality." said a woman sitting to Sima Yi's bed. She had blonde hair that was tied into a high ponytail and had her bangs hanging on the sides of her head.
I'm guessing this is Yuanji... "Hello...? You are my caretaker?"
"Yes."
"What is your name?"
"Wang Yuanji. What about you?" Sima Yi freezes and thought,"How do I do this? Do I say I am-No... Seeing how Shi and Zhao reacted, I don't think it would be wise to say my name. I need a fake name." Sima Yi returns to reality and say quickly,"Sima... Qian. Sima Qian."
"Sima? Are you related to-"
"I get that a lot. But no, I am not related to those two."
"But... the only Simas that exist in this world are Sima Shi, Sima Zhao, and Sima Fu."
What?! Fu is still alive?! I expected him to be one of the first victims of the alien invasion!
Sima Yi puts on a forced smile and says,"Is that right...? If my memory serves me right, I am a thrice-removed cousin."
"...Wow... You are really far off the family tree then... Then why are you so old?"
Shit! I forgot my disguise! I am an old man in her eyes!
What Wang Yuanji sees
Sima Yi is hunched over with a long white beard and droopy eyes. A large bubble of snot hung out of his nostril. His entire face was covered in wrinkles.
Sima Yi clears his throat and says firmly,"I have a disease that advances my age."
"Oh... You're lucky, I suppose. You'll die faster."
"That's nice of you..."
"We do not sugarcoat anything here."
"I can see that... So, can you humor me with the situation of this world...?"
"Have you been living under a rock?"
"Well... I am a hermit."
"Even the hermits know what is going on."
"I'm an old man... Just tell me..." said Sima Yi in the most-convincing old man voice.
"Huff... fine. Where should I start?"
"What happened when the aliens invaded?"
"They came in their old ships and robots, and we had everyone fight against them, but it wasn't enough even for six years. That era of time was called 'The Dark Ages'."
"I am sure that name has been used-" Wang Yuanji ignores his comment and continues,"Those times were the darkest of times. Famine and drought struck the country and many people died from massacres staged by the aliens. If you didn't die from aliens, you died of starvation."
"Why are you alive...?"
"I had to consume tigers and pandas to stay alive. Aliens didn't kill them because they found them to be 'adorable'."
"I can understand pandas, but... tigers...?"
"One alien I saw tamed one and kept it like if it were a typical housecat. Considering how huge the aliens are, they ARE housecats to them."
"Alright, enough of that. Can you tell me what happened next?"
"After six long years, humans were reduced to nothing. The aliens just left any survivor to slowly die or they tormented them."
"Where do you and the rest come in...?"
"We didn't just sit by and let them push us around. We stood against the alien overlords and saved anyone who wanted to join our cause."
"Uh-huh..."
"You know... You sort of sound like someone I knew..."
"Who was that?" Ooh, I wonder who it is...
"He was an asshole." Sima Yi frowns at the comment and Wang Yuanji continues,"But he was the good kind. Well, depends on how you think of his methods."
"Get to it."
"His name was Sima Yi. He would have saved us from the aliens along with the other strategists that teamed up."
"And what happened?"
"He died."
"Died? How?"
"That is what people are still wondering about. The most popular story is that during a battle with Zhuge Liang, he was burned alive in a burning building."
"...That's it?"
"I am afraid I do not know much. You have to ask my husband or Sima Shi since they were there."
"They won't talk to me."
"It was rather traumatizing for them, so it makes sense they don't want to go through that again. I am sorry I cannot tell you anymore. If they won't talk, you can ask their widow mother."
"Oh really...?" I've always called her a black widow. Now she's literally the widow part in this universe. "Where do I find her?"
"And just where do you think you're going? You are very old, you need to rest your bones before you pass on." Sima Yi turns red in anger and curses Kaguya under his breath.
"Now get some rest. I will come back to check up on you later." Wang Yuanji gets up and walks out of the room. When she closes the door, Sima Yi quickly jumps out of the bed and begins to feel up the walls.
"Kaguya! Kaguya! Hello?!" Kaguya appears out of thin air and angrily says,"No! You're on you're own! I'm just a spectator!"
"Fine..."He leaves the room and Kaguya disappears a flash of light.
Out in the larger room, Sima Yi casually walks behind other random refugees walking towards another room. He gets grabbed by the shoulder and is pulled away from there. He turns his head to see Xiahou Dun.
"Hello-"
"Xu Huang, did you eat the last ration?" Sima Yi quickly notices Xiahou Dun was wearing two eyepatches on both eyes and slowly lifts Xiahou Dun's hand off his shoulder.
"Answer me!" Sima Yi clears his throat and does a perfect impression of Xu Huang.
"No, I did not. Carry on, Master Xiahou Dun." Xiahou Dun calms down and walks off. Sima Yi sighs deeply in relief.
Thank god Xu Huang is SO EASY to imitate. Now to get some more information of this world.
He sees Xiahou Dun walking through a doorway that had many familiar faces residing. Sima Yi follows him and finds himself in an armory-like room. At a set of benches, Xiahou Dun sits down with Sima Zhao, who was sharpening a sword near him. A conversation could be heard.
"Sorry I had to trouble you with this. Damn both of my eyes getting taken away from me!"
"Ah, it's fine. I'm bored anyway. I have one question though. How could you use your weapon even without both eyes?"
"A warrior's instinct." Sima Yi turns to the dummies area and sees Sima Shi and others beating up or shooting dummies. He watches until he was forced to turn around by a hand. He stands eye-to-eye with the future Cao Pi and Zhen Ji.
"Hey, what are you doing here? This isn't a place for refugees, you know."
"Unless you want a bullet up your ass, I suggest get out."
Six years and their accents changed! What the hell?! Zhen Ji sounds like some thug while Cao Pi sounds like a fuckin robot! This world is scaring me shitless!
"Hey, are you deaf? Hello? Get out or else we'll shoot you!"
"With what?" Sima Yi responded smart-alecky. Cao Pi's left arm turns into a cannon while Zhen Ji lifts up her leg to have it turn into a ridiculously large gun pointed at Sima Yi's lower area. He stands there sweating.
"...Uhhhh...Isn't that a bit heavy-" The cannons get closer to his body and Sima Yi could see something glowing inside them.
"AAAAAAAHHH!" Sima Yi runs from two large blasts of energy and ducks from fast shots.
"Target is fleeing. Judging from his age, he should wear out in exactly twelve seconds."
"Shoot him in the legs!"
"Huff! Huff! I guess their tempers got more irritable after six years! Huff!" He jumps to avoid another laser shot. As he runs, a woman with short hair and scars on her face walks in his way. Sima Yi slows down to run around her and that woman quickly punches the ground to create a wall made out of rock blocking off Cao Pi and Zhen Ji.
"What was that for?"
"Yeah! That guy needs a lesson!" The woman responds,"Now you would attack a defenseless old man? Well, Cao Pi would since he is part metal and screws. Even his brain is made of metal. The only reason why is still alive is that Deng Ai managed to fix him with alien scrap metal." Sima Yi looks at her and asks,"Wait, where is he? I need to speak to him."
"Deng Ai? He has this workshop over there."
"Can I ask for your name?"
"Wang Yi." Sima Yi chokes on his breath and he quickly walks away.
Why the hell do you look like a lesbian?! And since when did you have super strength?!
Sima Yi walks away from the three quickly and he gets weird looks from them. Cao Pi fixes his robotic eye and twists the rim.
"My memory bank says that I know that person. But the bits of human brain don't remember him." Zhen Ji turns to him,"Really? He just looks like some old man to me."
"That is what I think as well, but my bits of human brain keep telling me it is someone I know."
"Ah... Now that I think about it, he is wearing clothes that remind me of someone..." Wang Yi says to them,"He could be just his father."
"Yeah, that makes sense."
Sima Yi finds a simple warehouse and enters that to see scrap metal scattering the floor and shelves filled with robotic arms and legs.
"Hello?" He hears clattering and a tall bulky man walks up to him. He had long grey hair with metal covering his eyes. The metal has two red dots glowing like eyes.
"Oh, hello. What do you need?" A robot with a propeller flies by him and talks in a screechy voice.
"Hey! Hey! Who the hell is this?! Is this that old man that died six years ago?"
"What the...?" Sima Yi looks at the robot and makes out a Z and an H on its head.
"Um... I think I heard this thing's voice before..."
"Excuse this thing's rudeness. Allow me to introduce myself and this thing. I am Deng Ai."
"Hey! Don't call me a thing! I'm still a person at heart!" angrily shouted the flying robot.
"But you don't have a heart..."
"You know what I mean!"
"And this thing here is or what is left of a very wimpy teenager called Zhong Hui."
"Wimpy?! I oughta-" The flying robot zips up to Deng Ai's face.
"Remember that doesn't have any weapons." said Deng Ai.
"I can use my propeller!"
"You won't be able to move if you break that."
"Alright, alright..." It flies towards Sima Yi. It gets in his face. He notices that its head's screen making a light-up angry face.
"Huh... You have that old man's eyes. Are you sure you're not Sima-"
"That is nonsense. The real one died years ago. Hehehe..." Sima Yi swats the robot away. It made a loud screechy yell as it flies from the hit.
"I'm just wondering... How is that robot this Zhong Hui person anyway?" Deng Ai answered,"The original Zhong Hui was killed by an explosion. I didn't want to revive him, but... someone told me to get his bits of brain and bones off the ground and fix him in some way." The robot zips back up to him.
"And he made me this! This sh*bleep*ty, sh*bleep*ty body! Why didn't I get that badass metal body like Zhang Liao?!"
"Because he would made good use of that. You would just sit around doing nothing contributing to the human race's survival. The reason why you were revived was that we needed some people to help the injured."
"I'm just some drone then?! Installing some weapons would make a little more useful!"
"We don't know if you are to turn against us."
"I... Okay, you got a point." Deng Ai turns back to Sima Yi.
"Is there something you needed before you were rudely interrupted by this hunk of junk?" The robot angrily comments out,"You made this hunk of junk! I have a name! You can even just call me ZH!"
"I wanted some answers."
"Answers?"
"I want to know what happened to me."
"You came here."
"No. Look at my face. That little piece of junk is right. I look like someone." Deng Ai looks for a moment and shakes his head.
"I'm sorry, I could see something, but it is just not possible he is still alive..."
"Why is that?"
"He... Ah, you don't want to hear some old man's story, do you?"
"Yes, I do! What the hell happened to Sima Yi that cause dof this?!"
"Fine... I was under Sima Yi's command at Wu Zhang Plains six years ago. We were ordered to march down to take a camp when it broke out in flames. I got out along with others, but unfortunately, our commander couldn't get out."
"Why couldn't he get out?"
"I remember he was protected by his sons and that they lost him in the flames. His eldest was the most traumatized since he was supposed to protect him. The body was never found."
"Isn't that suspicious?"
"It was a giant fire. Everything was turned to ash."
"Hmm... Well, thank you for your time." He was about to leave the warehouse when the door loudly opens and a suit of familiar armor is thrown inside. A woman's voice is heard,"I found another one. Just attach some limbs here and there and he should be back up."
"Is that Wen Yang's armor?"
"Yes. Poor man was crushed from a crumbling building. His gorey body is in this." Deng Ai walks up to the door and drags the suit of armor into the warehouse. The ZH robot flies over to have an arm extend out of its body and helps push the body with Deng Ai. Sima Yi walks past them and goes over to door to see a woman that is smoking a pipe. She is in a simple dress with a slit in it to expose one of her legs. She had long hair was a mix between grey and brown along with a scar running down of her eye. Another scar intersects it across her face. The woman blows smoke in Sima Yi's face.
"What are you staring at?" Sima Yi stares at her with his eyes widened and falls straight down on his back. He smiles half-heartedly and one end of his lips twitched.
What the hell happened to everyone here?!