Sakura Ordinatit Mundum
Phase 1: Zombie Carrot Ninja Beetles
One day, Naruto was eating ramen when Konohamaru rushed in with an urgent message.
Konohamaru: Giant zombie carrot-beetles are attacking the village! Summon your ninja friends and save us!
Hearing the overloud cies of the distressed child, Ninja Sidekicks 1 and 2 rushed in.
Sakura: What is it, Naruto??
Sasuke: ...!
Naruto: We must save the village from zombie beetles! Never mind that there are tons of full ninjas who could do it for us!
The three young heroes rush out into the black, black night.
Sakura: Wasn't it day just a second ago?
Naruto: Yeah it was!
Sasuke: The beetles must have used their zombie-nin technique to change night into day! We have to stop them!
After running for a few dramatic moments, the three youngsters find themselves facing the huge zombie carrot-beetles.
Sakura: Aiiii! Save me, Sasuke!
Naruto: Don't worry guys, I'll save you both!
Sasuke: Naruto, don't! These beetles have amazing techniques the likes of which you've only dreamed! Only purebred ninjas like myself can defeat them!
Naruto, ignoring his warning, or else unable to hear because of the sock he didn't notice was in his ear, rushed forward into the rapidly moving claws of the beetles. Performing their forbidden zombie-nin, the beetles swarmed him and devoured him before the eyes of his brave comrades, whose eyes swelled with unshed tears, or in Sakura's case, loudly ejected tears.
Sakura: WHY?? WHY, NARUTO, WHY??
Sobbing uncontrollably onto Sasuke's disgusted shoulder, Sakura overcame her grief in under ten seconds.
Sakura: Oh well, at least it wasn't Sasuke.
Sasuke: A great tragedy has befallen us. However, I have no emotions. Prepare to die, beetles!
Sakura: Oh, Sasuke! You're my hero!
Ignoring Sakura's heartfelt cheers, Sasuke darted forward at the speed of sound, noting briefly that a blue hedgehog whisked past him in the opposite direction. He whipped out his kunai and slashed at the beetles, but they were too fast for his mere human speed. The beetles began move their claws, performing the ancient art of zombie-nin. Trapped between the two largest beetles, Sasuke was in imminent danger of death. With Naruto eaten and Kakashi-sensei on vacation in Hawaii, there was no one to save him. Execept...
Sasuke: Sakura! Use your amazing brain power to deliver me from evil!
Sakura looked up at the sound of her beloved's voice, though bitter tears still streamed down her face and she was still screaming loudly with grief.
Sakura: Oh, Sasuke! It's all my fault! I should've been able to save you! Oh, if only I wasn't so weak!
Sasuke looked on, confused, as Sakura continued her lament.
Sasuke: Sakura! You can still save me! Look, I'm still alive!
Sakura: No! No! Why did it have to be like this! I should've trained harder! And now my beloved Sasuke is gone!
Sasuke was about to protest, but as he looked at the zombie beetle happily munching away at his feet, he was forced to agree.
After Sasuke was safely inside a beetle or two, Sakura stood up and clapped her hands to dismiss her rotting minions. She waved happily to them as they disappeared into the rapidly lighter night. When it was day once again, she went ot dispose of the only witness, Konohamaru. Then she went home to take a nice hot bath and consider Phase Two of her plan, Sakura Becomes Ruler of the World and Everyone Else Is Her Slave.
TO BE CONTINUED
Phase 1: Zombie Carrot Ninja Beetles
One day, Naruto was eating ramen when Konohamaru rushed in with an urgent message.
Konohamaru: Giant zombie carrot-beetles are attacking the village! Summon your ninja friends and save us!
Hearing the overloud cies of the distressed child, Ninja Sidekicks 1 and 2 rushed in.
Sakura: What is it, Naruto??
Sasuke: ...!
Naruto: We must save the village from zombie beetles! Never mind that there are tons of full ninjas who could do it for us!
The three young heroes rush out into the black, black night.
Sakura: Wasn't it day just a second ago?
Naruto: Yeah it was!
Sasuke: The beetles must have used their zombie-nin technique to change night into day! We have to stop them!
After running for a few dramatic moments, the three youngsters find themselves facing the huge zombie carrot-beetles.
Sakura: Aiiii! Save me, Sasuke!
Naruto: Don't worry guys, I'll save you both!
Sasuke: Naruto, don't! These beetles have amazing techniques the likes of which you've only dreamed! Only purebred ninjas like myself can defeat them!
Naruto, ignoring his warning, or else unable to hear because of the sock he didn't notice was in his ear, rushed forward into the rapidly moving claws of the beetles. Performing their forbidden zombie-nin, the beetles swarmed him and devoured him before the eyes of his brave comrades, whose eyes swelled with unshed tears, or in Sakura's case, loudly ejected tears.
Sakura: WHY?? WHY, NARUTO, WHY??
Sobbing uncontrollably onto Sasuke's disgusted shoulder, Sakura overcame her grief in under ten seconds.
Sakura: Oh well, at least it wasn't Sasuke.
Sasuke: A great tragedy has befallen us. However, I have no emotions. Prepare to die, beetles!
Sakura: Oh, Sasuke! You're my hero!
Ignoring Sakura's heartfelt cheers, Sasuke darted forward at the speed of sound, noting briefly that a blue hedgehog whisked past him in the opposite direction. He whipped out his kunai and slashed at the beetles, but they were too fast for his mere human speed. The beetles began move their claws, performing the ancient art of zombie-nin. Trapped between the two largest beetles, Sasuke was in imminent danger of death. With Naruto eaten and Kakashi-sensei on vacation in Hawaii, there was no one to save him. Execept...
Sasuke: Sakura! Use your amazing brain power to deliver me from evil!
Sakura looked up at the sound of her beloved's voice, though bitter tears still streamed down her face and she was still screaming loudly with grief.
Sakura: Oh, Sasuke! It's all my fault! I should've been able to save you! Oh, if only I wasn't so weak!
Sasuke looked on, confused, as Sakura continued her lament.
Sasuke: Sakura! You can still save me! Look, I'm still alive!
Sakura: No! No! Why did it have to be like this! I should've trained harder! And now my beloved Sasuke is gone!
Sasuke was about to protest, but as he looked at the zombie beetle happily munching away at his feet, he was forced to agree.
After Sasuke was safely inside a beetle or two, Sakura stood up and clapped her hands to dismiss her rotting minions. She waved happily to them as they disappeared into the rapidly lighter night. When it was day once again, she went ot dispose of the only witness, Konohamaru. Then she went home to take a nice hot bath and consider Phase Two of her plan, Sakura Becomes Ruler of the World and Everyone Else Is Her Slave.
TO BE CONTINUED