April wiped the sweat off of my forehead with a cloth and grinned.
"There, you just rest now."
"Thanks." I said, exhausted
April wrapped the baby up in a dry, clean sheet and handed him over to Chris.
"Here you go daddy, your little boy." Said April with a smile
I could hear Phil in the other room calling an ambulance. Looking up towards Chris, I smiled at him as best as I could, despite of being so tired. He looked so cute standing there holding our new born son in his arms.
"What should we name him?" He asked
"I don't know. I'm too tired right now to think of names."
I'm so glad that April and Phil was here with us during the birth of mine and Chris's baby. The two of them took turns playing midwife, which really surprised me. I never even expected them to do that for me, but of course I never thought I'd have my baby here at Castle Bam. This scene may not seem weird now, but this is barely the beginning of the story. Which means I should backtrack to before the birth of my baby…
I was about four years old when my parents allowed me to become apart of this medical experiment. I started taking these special hormone pills that changed my body. What I mean by that is, I was born a girl, but the hormones I was taking caused my body to grow more like a boy's body would. I was home schooled for preschool but when I was ready to go to kindergarten the following year, my parents had me tell everyone that I was a boy so there wouldn't be any confusion. It was easy for me to say that I was a boy because at that time I wanted to be one. (I was five, what can I say?) Also, since I was all ready doing "boy" things and dressing like a boy would, if I wasn't taking these hormone pills people would have just thought of me as a tomboy. When my parents registered me for school, they even gave the school the more male version of my name. I would even tell other kids my name as that name that my parents used. No one realized the difference.
Since I was growing up taking these hormone pills, and I started taking them when I was four, my appearance changed dramatically. I even went through puberty more like a male would, except for the fact that I was still able to have my period. (That was the only female aspect that still remained. I might have looked and acted like a boy on the outside, but I was still a girl on the inside.) I even started to grow facial hair just like a guy would, which suited me just fine once it started coming in right.
It became difficult for me when I felt I was ready to start dating. At that time I was faced with a dilemma: should I be "gay" and date guys? (Never getting too intimate of course) Or should I be "straight" and date girls? (Still never getting too intimate with them.) Like every girl my age I was crazy for the guys. But I didn't want people to think I was gay, because technically I wasn't. Even though it was weird, and I could never get into them, I decided to try to date other girls. (Hey it helped the gender deception.) Out of the girls I did date only a few eventually had to find out the truth. They were always ok about it, well the keeping it a secret part any way. I even had a "girlfriend" for a long time. I always felt weird having to borrow tampons or Pamprin from my "girlfriend" because I was out, even though she knew the truth about me. She was one of the first ones outside the family to ever know the truth, and I'm glad that she has kept it a well guarded secret for so long, even now since we've been "broken up".
Then I became famous and suddenly all kinds of women worldwide started falling over me. Apparently, while I may not be the best looking woman in the world, I make a pretty good looking guy. It's so bizarre because sometimes I look in the mirror and I'm amazed at how good looking I am. Hell I'm hot. No wonder other girls like me so much. (Not to sound conceited or anything.)
For a long time none, well almost none, of my friends even knew the truth. I remember the day last year when I finally decided to tell them. We were all gathered in the living room at Castle Bam. The guys were staring at me like I was from outer space. (All except for Chris) They knew that Chris, or Raab to all of you, and I had been dating for a while but they assumed that we were both gay.
"Ok let me try to say this in a way that doesn't make me sound even crazier…" I said to the guys "Ok, well, first of all my real first name isn't Brandon, it's Brandi. I was born a girl but I have been living as a guy for most of my life."
They, except for Chris, began to laugh.
"Yeah right!"
"I'm not joking! If you don't believe me then I'll show you my birth certificate. You'll see right on there that is says "Brandi Margera" and under gender it says "female". I'll go ask April for it right now so I can show it to you." I was beginning to lose my patients until Chris came up to me and put his arm around my shoulder
They stopped laughing and looked over at Chris.
"He's lying, isn't he? You would know since you're his boyfriend."
"Bam's not lying. I've known that fact for years before we even started dating."
"How's that Raab?"
"I was forced to tell Raab when we were still in high school." I answered for him
"How were you forced to tell him?"
"Well one day he caught me talking my hormone pills, and I had to explain to him what they were."
I saw their mouths fall open as they tried to wrap their minds around all of it.
"Wait… hormone pills?"
"Yeah I have been apart of this medical experiment since I was four years old. I take these hormone pills every day that causes my body to act and look more like a male's body. The only thing that keeps me, like, a girl is well… my reproductive organs, and the fact that I still get my period."
"S-so… the whole time you were with Jenn, and all those other girls… they were just…"
"They were just helping me fool everyone, the media especially. I feel so bad for not telling you guys about this sooner, but you can understand why I hadn't. And you all, now that you know, have to promise me that you will inever/i tell a soul about this. You all take this to your graves, ok?"
It took them a while before they got used to it. Sometimes they're still uneasy about it, like if I mention something about having cramps or whatever, but they get over it. I even told Ville about it one day. He acted like it was no big deal to him, like it was perfectly normal. It was almost like he completely understood what I was going through my whole life.
There was another day that I remember so well that changed the rest of my life. One day, nine months ago, I was lying on my bed staring up at the ceiling with tears just streaming down my face. Chris walked into my room and asked me what was wrong.
"I'm late." I said to him as I sat up
"Late? You mean like "late" late?"
"Yeah. I don't understand it. I thought that because if the pils I couldn't even get pregnant. My doctor even told me that it would be next to impossible for me to."
I began to cry into his chest as he held his arms around me.
"Brandi it's ok. Maybe you're not pregnant."
"I have never been late before, Chris. It's not just that, but I'm starting to have other signs of being pregnant. Why'd this have to happen? What are we going to do?"
Since I was pregnant, my doctor decided to wean me off of the hormone pills. It would have been too much of a shock to my system to just stop completely. I stopped talking the pills so much and began to take different ones that provided me with female hormones. Because of me being pregnant and the change in pills, I was so crazy that no one really wanted to be around me. I couldn't control my emotions at all. The mood swings were just horrible. I even stopped growing facial hair, which wasn't too bad. I hated being pregnant for the most part, but I just reminded myself that I was going to be bringing a life into the world when this was all over with. That was the only thing that got me through my pregnancy.
I was getting bigger, and for the first time I developed actual boobs. That was the weirdest thing when I first discovered them. Chris laughed at me, I mean roll on the floor laughing, when he caught me looking in the mirror and playing with my own boobs. (They were new to me, give me a break!)
Chris was so good to me during the pregnancy. He let me be as crazy as I was and did his best not to complain about it. He told me over and over that I wasn't fat whenever I was down on myself, and he would massage my back and ankles when I needed it. He can be so sweet to me sometimes. Chris even loved to tape me during my pregnancy. There's this one tape of me when I was eight months along. It started out with the camera zoomed in close on my boobs and Chris saying "Check out those big milk jugs!" I wanted to knock the camera out of his hands when he said that. Then he lowered the camera down to an extreme close up of my big belly, and then the camera pulled out to show the rest of me. I was standing at a baby changing table, folding up baby clothes that Phil and April gave to us. I was so embarrassed right then when he was recording me.
"Brandi… hey Bran." He said while trying to get me to respond to the camera "Bam!"
"What?"
"Look at you. Why are you so big Bam?"
"Why am I so big? What do you mean?"
"Your belly is really big. Why's that?"
"My belly's big because I'm going to have a baby. Jackass." I said with a smile "Now turn that fucking thing off. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean that I can't still kick your ass."
"Oh you know you like it." He zoomed in close on my belly again "Look at that. That's our kid in there. In just one more month we're going to be parents."
I placed my hands on my belly and smiled.
"Yeah it's pretty amazing, ain't it? I just can't wait until I can actually leave my house without having to wear a disguise or something."
(Throughout my pregnancy I had to be extremely careful when going out in public. Most of the time I didn't take my chances and just stayed home as much as possible.)
Chris even showed me waddling out of the room to greet April and Phil. That was kind of funny, I have to admit. I went right up to April and gave her a hug. Since I was so big at the time, it was hard for her to get her arms around me. I laughed and stepped away from her.
"Ape aren't you excited that I'm going to give you another grandchild in a month?" I asked her
"I'm just excited about those milk jugs that I get to play with." Said Chris from behind the camera
"Shut up Raab!" I replied, flipping off the camera
It was so funny hearing me speak on camera, because my voice had changed as well. It was higher and more feminine. That was another weird thing that I experienced when I became pregnant. With my voice changing like that I felt like I was going through puberty again.
A month later I was so anxious to, well, just to get the baby out of me. I was sick of being pregnant and I wanted to get my life back to (almost) normal. My parents had moved into Castle Bam during my ninth month, which I could not be more thankful for. Chris was just as thankful for them moving in and helping out as I was. I woke up this morning with the sharpest pain in my back. It hurt so bad that I could barely sit up in bed without help. Ape told me that I might be beginning labor. All day long I was having these back pains and then the contractions started. We didn't want to go to the hospital, because how would that look to people there? Bam Margera showing up at the hospital, nine months pregnant with Raab Himself's baby, and in labor. I didn't want to have to deal with that, there was no way. So April sat up a make-shift hospital bed for me, and got things ready for me to have the baby there at home. At one point I was standing in front of the kitchen table and holding myself up with one hand, recovering from a contraction, when suddenly my water broke. Chris and Phil helped me over to the "bed" that April made for me and I began to give birth.
It took forever for the baby to be born, at least it seemed like forever. But finally it is all over and now I'm sitting here holding my new born son. I have no idea how we're going to explain this to the paramedics once the ambulance arrives. Man everyone sure would freak if news got out that I, Bam Margera, have just become a mother. How would I explain that to my fans, the media, or most importantly my own son?