Title: Mary Sue Becomes a Jedi
Author: --Starbuck--
Summary: Third in the Mary Sue Series!
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: PG
A/N: Coming soon...Mary Sue the Vampire Slayer
==XxXxX==
Mary Sue had worked hard all her life to become a Jedi. Of course, it came easier being Darth Vader's long-lost daughter.
One day Mary Sue, Jedi Knight, decided to find her brother. She had been saddened by the news of her father's death, but now she had to find Luke Skywalker.
So Mary Sue flew her X-Wing, which was in perfect condition, perfectly through the Imperial Victory-Class Star Destroyers, the Katana fleet, billions of TIE fighters and Bombers, and three Death Stars, without getting a scratch, and blowing up all of them on the way. Except for the Katana fleet, which she saved for the New Republic.
"Unidentified X-Wing, please give clearence code." Mary Sue punched in the clearence code and she was allowed to land on Endor, where Luke Skywalker still was.
Mary Sue had a perfect figure, to go with her perfect feet and perfect fingernails and perfect blonde hair and perfect blue eyes and perfect lightsaber and perfect black Jedi clothes and perfect Jedi skills. She had a perfect singing voice which was great because she planned to ruin the plot and turn it into Star Wars: A Musical.
Soon she landed on the planet of Endor, in the midst of the celebration party. She saw Luke Skywalker immediately with her perfect vision and ran over to him in a way that was perfectly atheletic. She was very athletic even though she had no visible muscles. But she was perfectly thin and in good shape.
"LUKE!" She yelled. He turned around and everything was played in perfectly dramatic slow motion. She ran towards Luke, who had an expasperated look on his face and was drawing his lightsaber. She perfectly outstretched her perfect arms and perfectly attempted to hug her long-lost brother.
Then everything sped up, and Luke stepped back and ignited his lightsaber. Mary Sue perfectly fell to the ground, and then stood up with a perfectly confused look on her face.
"But Luke, I'm your sister!" She whined perfectly. Leia stormed over and slapped Mary Sue in the face.
"You moron, I'M Luke's sister. And we've already made sure that Darth Vader didn't have any more children. So THERE!" Leia stuck out her tongue at the perfectly stunned Mary Sue.
Han walked up and kicked Mary Sue in the stomach.
"What was that for?" Mary Sue said, her perfect eyes watering.
Han shrugged. "Felt like it."
Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared!
"Obi-Wan!" Mary Sue breathed. "Tell Luke that I'm his sister!"
Obi-Wan got a confused and angry look on his face.
"Is this another Mary Sue?" He asked. Everyone nodded. "Mary Sue, you must understand that no matter how many of you there are, Leia is Luke's only sister. You need to go see a psychologist, Mary Sue. For no matter how much you think you are, you are not perfect."
Obi-Wan disappeared. Luke looked around at everybody and nodded.
Everyone on Endor killed Mary Sue. One small step for the Star Wars world, one giant...something...
==XxXxX==
Author: --Starbuck--
Summary: Third in the Mary Sue Series!
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: PG
A/N: Coming soon...Mary Sue the Vampire Slayer
==XxXxX==
Mary Sue had worked hard all her life to become a Jedi. Of course, it came easier being Darth Vader's long-lost daughter.
One day Mary Sue, Jedi Knight, decided to find her brother. She had been saddened by the news of her father's death, but now she had to find Luke Skywalker.
So Mary Sue flew her X-Wing, which was in perfect condition, perfectly through the Imperial Victory-Class Star Destroyers, the Katana fleet, billions of TIE fighters and Bombers, and three Death Stars, without getting a scratch, and blowing up all of them on the way. Except for the Katana fleet, which she saved for the New Republic.
"Unidentified X-Wing, please give clearence code." Mary Sue punched in the clearence code and she was allowed to land on Endor, where Luke Skywalker still was.
Mary Sue had a perfect figure, to go with her perfect feet and perfect fingernails and perfect blonde hair and perfect blue eyes and perfect lightsaber and perfect black Jedi clothes and perfect Jedi skills. She had a perfect singing voice which was great because she planned to ruin the plot and turn it into Star Wars: A Musical.
Soon she landed on the planet of Endor, in the midst of the celebration party. She saw Luke Skywalker immediately with her perfect vision and ran over to him in a way that was perfectly atheletic. She was very athletic even though she had no visible muscles. But she was perfectly thin and in good shape.
"LUKE!" She yelled. He turned around and everything was played in perfectly dramatic slow motion. She ran towards Luke, who had an expasperated look on his face and was drawing his lightsaber. She perfectly outstretched her perfect arms and perfectly attempted to hug her long-lost brother.
Then everything sped up, and Luke stepped back and ignited his lightsaber. Mary Sue perfectly fell to the ground, and then stood up with a perfectly confused look on her face.
"But Luke, I'm your sister!" She whined perfectly. Leia stormed over and slapped Mary Sue in the face.
"You moron, I'M Luke's sister. And we've already made sure that Darth Vader didn't have any more children. So THERE!" Leia stuck out her tongue at the perfectly stunned Mary Sue.
Han walked up and kicked Mary Sue in the stomach.
"What was that for?" Mary Sue said, her perfect eyes watering.
Han shrugged. "Felt like it."
Suddenly, Obi-Wan Kenobi appeared!
"Obi-Wan!" Mary Sue breathed. "Tell Luke that I'm his sister!"
Obi-Wan got a confused and angry look on his face.
"Is this another Mary Sue?" He asked. Everyone nodded. "Mary Sue, you must understand that no matter how many of you there are, Leia is Luke's only sister. You need to go see a psychologist, Mary Sue. For no matter how much you think you are, you are not perfect."
Obi-Wan disappeared. Luke looked around at everybody and nodded.
Everyone on Endor killed Mary Sue. One small step for the Star Wars world, one giant...something...
==XxXxX==