I've been working on this for a for a while... I started it, but just never finished it... So I finally did and I hope you like it!
Reviews are loved and greatly appreciated! LayX
I don't own glee or any of the characters...
Can you imagine knowing something that you never wanted to know, can you imagine knowing that if the other person found out your life would be destroyed?
Well Rachel Berry knew a secret that she never wanted anyone to find out, because if anyone did they would tell Finn and then he would leave her, she just knew it, When she overheard this secret her heart stopped beating for a few seconds her breathing came to a halt as she heard her boyfriend utter the words.
"I still love Quinn... But she has Puck, how could I feel this way? I hate myself?"
Tears spilled from her eyes as she thought about what she was really hearing, Finn still loved his ex girlfriend? But he was with her, was all of this just a lie? Something to keep his mind off the person he truly loved? Well whatever it was, she didn't care she would keep all of this inside and pretend to Finn that she didn't know, just carry on with life, because she loved Finn Hudson, and she never wanted to lose him.
"What are you doing tonight?" Rachel asked Finn, a seductive glint in her eyes, he shrugged his shoulders in reply to her questions. "Do you want to come over to my house? My dad's are out of town" she tried her best to be seductive, but she was never great at it, she hoped it would win Finn over.
"Sure" he replied with a smile "I'll bring a DVD and some food" he said and Rachel screamed a little in her mind. Was he really that dumb? The way she asked him to come over, was he really that stupid that he could pick up the vibes? She brushed it off and just winked at him as she left, hoping that whenever he came by later that night that he would fully understand why she had asked him over, if not it could get awkward.
"Bye" he replied as she walked down the corridor, she turned back to smile at him and then carried on, trying to do the sexiest walk she could, she had to do something to keep her boyfriend.
She thought about it all day, and she came to a decision, there were two girls she could go to, two girls she knew would be able to help in this situation, going to those girls was the frightening thing.
She approached the table that only Santana and Brittany sat at, no one else dared to cross their paths, no one wanted to sit with them. "Hi" she said as she sat the tray she was carrying on the table and took a seat opposite them "Look, I know we don't get on, but I need your help" she said she had a sort of pleading look in her eyes that she hoped would work.
"What?" Santana asked, getting straight to the point.
"I need to change, my look, my attitude... everything" her voice was pleading now, not so that they would agree, because as she thought about she thought this was the only thing she could do to keep Finn, losing him would kill her, she couldn't lose him he meant to much to her.
"Why?" Santana asked
She looked around for a bit, glancing at anyone who could possibly hear, but everyone was so far away they would have to have some sort of weird power to be able to hear her.
"I'm losing Finn" she admitted and both cheerio's could see tears fill her eyes, but she quickly blinked them away, tears would only draw more attention to the already out of ordinary conversation. "And you are the only ones that can help, but please don't tell anyone" she begged "I just want to change, to be like you, you two are sexy and everyone in this school respects you, guys fall over you and I want Finn to see that in me"
Santana and Brittany exchanged looks "Okay, we'll help, but only because we have dreamed off changing you for like ever" Brittany said while Santana nodded
"But, I', curious, how exactly are you loosing Finn? Didn't he declare his undying love for you or something?" Santana asked her, Rachel's eyes filled with more tears and the girls noticed this "We'll continue this discussion later" Santana said "How about we start this whole thing tonight? At yours?" she asked Rachel
"I just made plans with Finn" she told them
"Cancel them, or make them later so you will be ready, do you want to keep him or not?"
Rachel nodded "Okay"
"Meet us in the parking lott after school, make sure that no one sees you getting into my car, or I will be in social suicide for at least a week" Rachel brushed off the insult and just nodded.
She texted Finn and told him to come by later, and at the end of school she waited until almost everyone had left before she carefully made her way to Santana's care, looking behind her every step she took to make sure no one was around to see her getting into the cheerleaders car, she wanted there help so badly that she would do anything.
They went straight to Rachel's room when they got there "What exactly do you want us to do?" Brittany asked
Rachel shrugged her shoulders "Whatever you can" she said a tear falling down her cheek, Santana looked at her, Rachel saw this, she saw a look of sympathy in her eyes, something she never thought that she would see from Santana, especially when they sympathy was directed towards her.
"What's going on?" She asked Rachel after deciding what to say, she just came out with it
"Finn still loves Quinn, he always seem bored with me, but I can't lose him, I love him" she said more tears escaping her now red eyes. Santana placed a hand on Rachel's shoulder, she jumped slightly at Santana's affection, but she took it warningly and smiled a little, she was shocked when a returning smile was on Santana's face "You don't have to do this if you don't want to" she said to both girls
They both shook their heads "We like a challenge" Santana said with a hint of a laugh "And I know we don't talk much, but I do kind o f like you and your a whole lot more tolerable when your with Finn" she giggled a little
Rachel smiled at her "Thanks... I think"
"Let's get started" Brittany said opening Rachel's wardrobe, her eyes widened as she looked inside "Do you own and stylish clothes?" she asked "No offence" she added, clearly after the offence had already been put out there
"I know, I know" she said "Mix between a kindergartener and a blind person wasn't it?" she said, her voice slightly angry, but not at the cheerio's "I just want to change, here" she said holding out bin bags "Chuck it all, I don't care... I just want to be different to be considered hot!" she said tears violently leaving her eyes as sobs escaped her
"We'll help you Berry" Santana said taking the bags "We can't leave her with no clothes" She said giving the bag's to Brittany.
She took them from her hand, "Have you got scissors? I can revive some of the stuff... and her skirts are fine, just need material and a sewing kit?" she asked Rachel who left the room appearing a few minutes later with the things Brittany requested. She handed them to her and she got to work, cutting and sewing bits to Rachel's clothes that once upon a time she wore proudly.
Rachel and Santana moved to the bed, leaving Brittany by herself an looking like she was enjoying herself way too much, Santana and Rachel shared a look and then a giggle. "Ok where's your make-up?" Santana asked, Rachel pointed to a drawer beside her bed.
Santana opened to drawer; she removed the entire drawer deciding it would be easier; she tipped the contents onto the bed and began to rummage through it.
"Why do you never wear any of this? You have decent make up here!" Santana said still looking at the products that where in the drawer "Oh I love this" she said holding up a bottle of foundation, "That colour would look really good on you" she told Rachel, holding it beside her face.
"I've never felt the need to wear make-up, I've always had good skin" she said with a smile "Do you think it will help?" she asked
Santana nodded "A bit can't hurt, He'll notice the change and you'll look fresh, he will fall for you all over again"
"I hope so" Rachel sighed
"What's gotten into you? The Rachel I hated never was down on herself, she pretty much loved herself! She would have confronted Finn about this and she would have just gotten over it!"
"Maybe it's time for a change, for the old Rachel to go and hide and for a new on to be found, I don't want to be the girl everyone hates anymore, I want people to like me and find me hot, like they do with you and I want Finn to be truly happy with me, and if he's not I want to make him! Because I worked so hard to get him I won't let him just go back to her, I can't let him go!"
"Wow, Physco Rachel" Santana laughed "Look, Rachel I agreed to help you because you said you wanted to change, and that is something I've dreamed about since I met you" she giggled and little and then continued "But the truth is I like you okay, I always thought you would be cool if you weren't so annoying, and I want to help you, because when Quinn was with Finn it was nauseating, you, well you two make a cute couple"
"Thanks" Rachel smiled
"Ok, now let's try some of this make up on, shall we?" Rachel nodded and they began testing out some of the products on Rachel...
When Finn arrived that night, the first thing he did when he saw Rachel was lose control of his jaw, his mouth swung open as he just stared at her "What... What" was all he could manage; his eyes bulged from his head as he continued his stair.
She did have to admit she looked hot, Brittany hadn't quite finished her clothes, but the ones she had finished with were amazing, she had talent that was for sure, somehow she managed to make her skirts look shorter, she took a plain black one and sewed some blue material from one of her tops onto it... it was in a ruffled position on the skirt and it gave it something extra.. She made the top shorter from where she had cut off the material for the skirt and she lowered the neckline... she unstitched the animal that was on the front and replaced it with a few sequins creating a pattern... both Santana and Brittany made Rachel ditch the knee socks, instead they gave her a pair of heels, black ones that made the whole outfit pop.
"Like it?" she asked Finn "I changed my wardrobe a little" she said taking his hand and leading him to the couch.
He nodded "I noticed, but I liked your old look too" he said
"Please, I looked like I was stuck in kindergarten or something... This is far more high school" she smiled, she leaned over and kissed him, she kissed him hard and he returned the kiss with passion, she climbed onto his knee and began unbuttoning his shirt.
She almost had it to the whole way off when he stopped her, pushing her gently off his knee and redoing the buttons "What's wrong?" she asked a pout on her face
"Nothing" he said shaking his head "I'm just not ready" he told her "I don't want to go that far, to push you or anything"
"You wouldn't be pushing me, Finn I'm ready! Everything in the past is way back there; I just want us to be together, really together. I love you Finn" she said a smile on her face, but his wasn't matching hers.
Instead he looked unhappy "I'm sorry Rach, I'm just not ready, and I know you aren't either!" he said, he got up from the couch and crossed the room, looking at, he sighed before her left, without even saying anything else, leaving Rachel confused on the couch. She straightened her skirt before she erupted in tears.
Why does he not like me? She asked herself.
The next day at school Rachel wore another outfit Brittany had made for her... this time she shorted yet another skirt... A denim one this time and she used the spare material to turn a plain white vest top into a gorgeous denim designed one. She took Santana's make-up advice and she got what she had always wanted, guys stared at her... and even gave her a few wolf whistles. She smiled widely and proudly and she strolled down the corridor.
"Hot stuff" Rachel heard a familiar voice call from behind, she turned around and it was confirmed, Santana was actually speaking to her in public!
"Hey" she said cautiously "I don't mean to be rude, but you never talk to me at school!" she said, her face showed how shocked she was, it had a display of disbelief on it.
Santana laughed and Brittany joined in "You're hot now Rachel, we'll talk to you, because well you're just like us, hotties!" Brittany smiled, she swung her arm around Rachel's shoulder and they walked down the corridor together "Have you ever thought about becoming a cheerio?" Brittany asked her
"Well yes, I did... but then I changed my mind, I love glee... I'm a singer not a dancer and my body doesn't quite bend that way!" She said
"Oh" Brittany said, her eyes had a hint of sadness in them.
"Britt why the sour bake?" Santana asked her
"We only hang out with cheerio's and jocks... and I don't think Rachel could be a jock" she said sadly
"Britt, it's okay. We can still hang with Rach... she may not be a cheerleader, but she's hot!" Santana said "That's good enough for us, anyway since when did we hang around with a cheerio that wasn't us?" Santana asked and Brittany nodded in agreement, realising they don't actually hang around with anyone beside's each other
"Wait, you want me to hang around with you? I get slushied almost everyday... there's no way you would be seen with me!" Rachel said, trying to figure out why they were with her
"Rach, you are so not going to get a slushie looking like that, the only way anyone would throw a slushie at you is to be able to lick it off" Santana giggled
Rachel blushed a little "You really want to just hang out with me? No anterior motives?" Rachel asked, she still wasn't sure about the whole thing.
"We helped you become this? Do you really think we're going to let you go back to being invisible... I don't think so!" She smiled "So how did it go with Finn last night?"
Rachel's expression changed, she hung her head slightly low and the frown on her face told both of the cheerio's that it didn't go well "It started well he kept staring, but then he just ran out, I don't know what I did!"
"Did he say anything when he left?"
"Well we talked about being ready and stuff and I told him I was... because I am! But he said he wasn't and that he knew I wasn't either... I thought guys always wanted that stuff, do you think he really doesn't like me, and he just wants Quinn? That could be it right!"
Santana shook her head "Who would choose Quinn over you? Your totally hotter than her, maybe he just isn't ready... because the whole thing with thinking he got Quinn pregnant really scared him, when he did it with me all he did was worry... it just wasn't fun"
"I just want to know what's going on with him!" she said
Both cheerio's took hold off one of Rachel's arms "Were going to be late for glee... we can talk about this later, we'll get to the bottom of this Rach, you'll have him all over you in now time, just wait and see!"
They walked into glee linking arms and everyone in the room looked at them in confusion "Since when are they friends?" Kurt whispered, everyone that heard shrugged and looked over at them sitting in the corner chatting silently with each other.
Finn approached Rachel first, she just waited for him to come to her. She wasn't going to talk to him first, right now she wanted to ignore him and she wanted him to know that she was ignoring him "Hey" he said taking a seat beside her
"Hi" she replied, still not looking at him, she turned her body towards him and seen him smiling at her, she didn't return his smile though, instead she just looked annoyed
"What's wrong?" he asked her
She shook her head "Nothing" she said, if he was playing dumb so was she, she took a stand of her hair and twirled, something she had learned from watching her cheerleader friends, guys always found that cute she noticed
"I'm sorry for running out on you last night" He said, his eyes were apologetic, but he was getting away with this that easy.
Instead of replying she just shrugged "That's okay" she told him
"Can we talk outside?" He asked noticing a lot of the glee club were staring at them "Please" he added when he saw the reluctance in her eyes
She nodded "Okay" she said as she stood up off her seat "I'll be right back guys" she told Santana and Brittany who both nodded
"I really think we should talk about this Rach" he said when they were alone in the corridor
"Finn, it's totally fine... there's nothing to talk about" she was putting on a facade, inside she really wanted to talk about it and find out what he was feeling, but this new person she was trying to be didn't want to know, and she wanted to act like this didn't bother her, even though it was killing her inside.
"I really think we should, because I know you're not fine, I know you Rachel and I know when you're hurting, I'm sorry about just leaving, I just didn't think we were ready"
"That's okay Finn, yeah you did hurt me a little, but I'm fine I respect your decision"
"But you don't think it was the right one?" he asked her
She thought for a minute "No, I didn't because I know I'm ready Finn... and I think you are, maybe your just trying to be a good guy about this, but I want to do this, and with you because your special Finn"
"But I'm not ready, I know you want this, but you have to respect the fact that I'm not ready, I want to make this special Rach, because I respect you and I want to make it feel right for you" he told her, his eyes had a serious look in them and Rachel had to try hard just not to cave, "You've changed, why are hanging with Brittany and Santana, and what are you wearing? That's not something you would ever wear" he asked her, looking at her clothing choices
"There my friends, since when did I have to ask you who I could hang with? And maybe I just want a change, to feel sexy... or just to look good? Is it that wrong to wear what I want!" she said raising her voice, as anger filled her
"I'm not saying that you have to ask me who you can be friend with, it's just it's not like you to hang with them, and I liked your old style, it was cute and it was you"
"It was ok, but I like dressing like this, it makes me feel sexy and older, not like a 3 year old!"
"You didn't look like a 3 year old, you looked hot. Why do you think I asked you out? Why do you think I fell in love with you?" he asked
She shrugged "I don't know, people change and I'm just finding who I am, if you don't like it then do whatever you like, because I'm not changing for you anymore, I've tried to be the best girlfriend you could ever imagine, but I'm not doing that anymore, I want to be me and do things that make me happy"
"If dressing like this makes you happy, knock yourself out but I won't stand by and watch it" Finn threatened
"What's that supposed to mean?" Rachel asked her hands placed on her hips in a defensive stance
"I just don't want to be with you, when you're acting like this" he told her
"Then don't, were over" she said, with that she turned and walked back into the choir room, her head held high, she returned to her seat beside Brittany and Santana.
"How'd it go?" Santana asked
Rachel shrugged her shoulders, something she done when she was upset and didn't want to get deep into conversation "Were over" she told them
"Rach, are you okay?" Brittany asked, she felt major sympathy for her, she knew she really loved Finn
"I'm fine" she said "I'll get over it, if he doesn't want me whatever I dress like and if he doesn't like who I hang out with I don't want to be with him"
"We'll have a night at my house tonight... to celebrate your new singleness, my parents our out tonight so we have the house to ourselves, how about some DVD's and a few drinks?" Santana asked
Rachel thought for a moment, she felt so strange being invited to Santana's for the night, but she agreed and smiled about finally being accepted into a group
"How about inviting some guys, and making an mini party out of it?" Brittany asked
Santana and Rachel agreed, so Brittany stood up and made an invitation, well for certain people it was an invite, but it for others it was just pointless information "Me, San and Rach are having a bit of a get together tonight at Tana's house... So we want to know if Mike, Matt and Puck want to join us?" Brittany used her cute voice and of course the guys all agreed
"Since when were you friends?" Kurt finally built up the courage to ask the question everyone in the room wanted to know
"If your referring to Rachel hanging with us, well that happened this week when we realised how much of a good friend she was, and she's pretty hot too... and she's actually quite fun to be with, so get used to it" Santana said a smug look on her face, she smiled at Rachel. Rachel returned the smiled and when she looked at the rest of the glee club, she grinned at them, finally feeling proud of herself, she was accepted now, she was no considered hot, something Rachel loved "So yeah, let's go girls, be at mine for 7!" Santana told the guys before she walked out with Brittany and Rachel trailing behind her.
"I call dibs on Mike!" Brittany said, sitting down on the sofa beside the other two girls
"Ok, feel free to have Mike" Santana said
"I'm guessing you call dibs on Puck, so that means" Brittany didn't finish before Santana cut her off
"No, Puck is so last week, he's a tool anyway, my dibs are on Matt" Santana said with a smile, she licked her lips before she realised she had gone into a slight day dream and snapped herself out of it
"That leaves Puck then" Brittany said, looked at Rachel
"I'm good to be alone" she said
"You can't be alone, I mean if you do it will be kind of strange, And Puck is so into you... Me and San will be busy so, it's either sit on your own and die in your thoughts or whatever, or make out with Puck" Brittany said twirling her hair win her fingers
"You don't have to do anything you don't want to, just a bit of light making out... We wouldn't want you to be left on your own, I mean that would totally suck and I so wouldn't feel welcome in someone's house if they just left you alone, so Puck it is... k?" Santana asked
Rachel nodded "Ok" she said, how bad could it be? She thought, Puck was hot! And it may end up making Finn Jealous, so she may as well have fun tonight.
"We better get ready" Brittany said standing up and pulling the other two up with her... "I need you to help me pick an outfit"
"Did you bring a change of clothes with you?" Rachel asked, worried that she would be the only one to be wearing the same thing from school
"No silly, I'm just wearing something or Tana's, come one we'll choose something for you too" the blonde girl said grabbing Rachel's hand and leading her upstairs
"Is that ok?" Rachel asked the Latino cheerleader
Santana nodded opening up her wardrobe "Sure" she said "We share clothes all the time, that's what friends are for!" she smiled
Brittany pulled a few dress from Santana's closet and held them against her while she studied each on in the mirror "That one!" Rachel said when Brittany held up a baby blue mini dress "That is really cute, and it will look great on you"
"Thanks Rach, Here's one for you, It will look totally hot on you, Puck won't know what's hit him" Rachel took the dress Brittany handed her and moved to Santana's bathroom to change, when she came back out both girls smiled "You look just like one of us, I love you hanging with us" Brittany said
"Thanks" she replied "You look pretty hot yourselves" she said smiling "I love that colour on you San" she said, Santana grinned and turned around in a sort of fashion show
"Britt bought me this for my last birthday" she smiled and hugged her fellow cheerleader
"We better get down the stairs, I think they guys are here, it's like quarter past 7, Brittany said looking at the time on Santana's stereo
All three girls descended the stairs, Santana opened the door and the three guys entered the house, they all looked at each girl and smiled "You look hot" Mike said directing the comment at all 3 of them
"Thanks" they said in unison
About an hour later Rachel was sitting alone on the sofa, Brittany and Mike had disappeared somewhere and Santana and Matt had relocated to Santana's room, all that was left was Puck and Rachel.
Puck appeared from the kitchen holding to cups, he handed one to Rachel and sat down beside her "So where's Finn?" he asked her
"Like I know" she replied
"Aren't you like his girlfriend or something?" Puck asked her
She shook her head "Nope" she said
"Oh, since when are you friends with Britt and San?" he asked her
"What is this 20 questions?" she asked him, he shrugged
"Would you rather we just sit here in silence?"
She shook her head "No, sorry... I don't know we just started hanging out" she said answering his previous question too
"Cool" he said finding nothing else to say "So when did you and Finn break up?" he asked her "Sorry, you don't have to answer" he added, realising she probably wouldn't react too kindly to the question
"It's fine, we broke up today"
"Tough" Puck commented
"Not really, I don't need him... I need a real man, who will give me what I want and who won't judge me!"
"Give you what you want?"
Rachel nodded "I told him I was ready and he ran, I mean what guy does that?" she asked, it was a rhetorical question but Puck chose to answer
"Was he not just trying to be a good guy and all that?" she was surprised that he was defending him, she was expecting him to say something critical or a snide remark, but he didn't
"No, He was just being a dick..." she told him, Puck looked at her strangely, he had never hear Rachel Berry swear before "He just wants someone else, well he can fucking have her!" she let her temper get the better of her, she blushed a little and cooled herself down before she carried on "He had a go at me today because I've 'changed'" she huffed out a laugh "The only changed I've made to my life is better friends, heck I've got friends and I'm dressing better, I thought he would be happy and supportive, but no he has to be an ass!"
"What do you mean he wants someone else?" he asked her "I like the changes by the way" he added and she smiled, and try to hide a blush
"He still likes Quinn, after everything she did to him, he still likes her! I don't have anything against Quinn" she added to the end when she realised it was Puck she was talking to
"How do you know?" he asked her, he looked a little hurt by it, but she saw him brush it off
"I heard him talking to his team mates the other day, that's why I changed and that's why I told him I was ready, I knew I was ready for a while, but I was just scared, I thought if we slept together he would go off Quinn and he would love me even more, now I don't think he loved me at all"
"Maybe he just still finds Quinn hot, because I know I still find some of my ex girlfriends hot"
"He said he loved her, but he wouldn't do anything because she was with you"
"Is he blind? Quinn hates me... I've tried with her, but she just resents everything I do, I'm done with her, she treats me like dirt and I'm not going to take it anymore, he's welcome to her!" he said his temper flaring "Sorry" he added, when he realised what he said
"It's fine, it's the same way I feel, I'm over him and I'm ready to move on" she looked at him and suddenly her lips were on his, and she was kissing him passionately, he was returning the kiss and suddenly her hands were at his belt buckle, he pulled away from her
"Are you sure you want to do this? It's not that easy to get over someone you know" Puck said
"I know" she said and her lips were joined with his again "I. Want. This" she said between gasps and his lips
When Brittany, Santana, Mike and Matt all came back into the lounge that night only Puck was there, he was flicking through the TV stations like he was there every day "Where's Rachel?" Santana asked
Puck shrugged "She went to the bathroom about an hour ago" he said his finger still pressing buttons on the TV remote
"What did you do?" Santana asked, she was now slightly worried, was it a bad idea to leave Rachel with puck? Alone?
"I didn't do anything, We were having fun and then we switched on the TV and she excused herself and she hasn't came back, She's probably got lost or something"
"My house isn't big enough to get lost Puck, sometimes I wonder how you even dress yourself" Santana said standing up and leaving the room to find Rachel, she climbed the stairs and opened the bathroom door, it was empty... she shrugged and made her way out to descend the stairs and join her friends
When she passed her parents' bedroom she heard a muffled sniffle from inside, she quietly opened the door and saw Rachel sitting on the floor, her back pressed against the wall and her head in her hands. She moved beside her and slid her back down the wall to join her on the floor "What's up?" she asked her
Rachel shook her head, still keeping it in her hands
"Come on, you can talk to me" Santana said placing her hand on Rachel's back in a comforting fashion
"I had sex with Puck" she said sobbing into her hands still
Santana nodded knowing exactly how she would feel
"I wanted my first time to be special, to be with..." she stopped before she got to the end of her sentence, not wanting to admit how she felt out loud
"Finn?" Santana finished for her
Rachel nodded "I told Puck I wanted to, but I didn't" she said her head still shaking "All I ever wanted was for my first time to be with someone I loved and it to be special, not with anyone who would have me and on a couch"
"I know, I've been there my first time was exactly the same, I always dreamed about linen sheets and that one amazing person that would make you feel so good, instead I got a Puck, in the back seat of his car, not exactly what anyone would call romance is it?" Santana sighed
"Do you make it special now?" She asked her
She watched as Santana shrugged "I haven't did it again since, I may act all slutty and stuff but I want the next time to be special, I've wiped my slate clean, Puck never existed in my sex life and the 2 times I did it with him are wiped from my memory"
"Oh sorry" Rachel told her "I just assumed, with you and Matt and upstairs... and just" Rachel stopped herself before she said anything insulting
"It's ok, I do give away that vibe, I just don't want people to think I'm like that, I want to have a reputation, Matt and I were just making out, he's a good guy he's not like Puck he won't go anywhere I'm not comfortable with" Santana smiled
"Like Finn, Maybe he was right... Maybe I wasn't ready"
"Maybe you need to tell him that" Santana told her, she had a smile on her face, a smile that Rachel could tell she only used on her friends,
"I can't, I've ruined everything... And how can I go back to him knowing he still loves Quinn?"
"You haven't ruined everything, Finn is a great guy, you just need to talk to him and explain everything and talk things through, and everyone can see that you two are made for each other, you just have to jump over the hurdles"
"Thank you" She said she looked Santana in the eye and they she hugged her "I'll talk to him, and thank you so much for everything, you're a really great person and I just want to let you know that I've loved hanging with you and Britt and that I love you both" Rachel said she got up from where she was sitting and crossed the room
"Wow Rach" Santana said following her "It's not like this is that last we'll hang" She said
"I just thought that if I'm back with Finn you wouldn't want to.."
"I like you, and it doesn't matter who your with or even how you dress, your cool and I like hanging out with you, and I know Brittany does too" Santana smiled
"Your such a good person San, thanks... I'll let you know how later goes" she said as she left the room
"Please do!" Santana shouted after her and she heard Rachel giggle as the front door closed
She walked slowly up the path to Finn's house, she prayed all the way there that he would be in and she would be able to get to say everything she had been rehearsing since she left Santana's, she had just about built up the confidence and she couldn't be turned away on the door step, she would never be able to build it up again.
She stopped outside the door and took a large breathe, she straightened her skirt and fixed her hair. She slowly lifted her hand and knocked on the door, she stood still until it opened and his mom answered "Hi" she smiled "Is Finn home?" she asked
Carole nodded "Go on up Rachel" She smiled at her and walked in and made her way up the stairs, apparently he hadn't told his mom, which she was quite thankful for.
She stopped again outside the door t Finn's room, she went over what she was going to say in her head and nodded when she thought she was ready, she quietly knocked on the door before she opened it and peered in, he was lying on his bed with his iPod in his ears, he looked up at her and then back down to the bed sheets, this was going to be hard
She sat at the bottom of his bed and waited for him to respond, he took out the earphones and set them beside him on the bed "What do you want?" he asked her, his voice sounding angry,, his face looking just like his voice sounded
"I want to talk" she said
"Why, you made it clear earlier that you wanted nothing more to do with me, I don't want to be friends Rachel, I don't want any more of this crap in my life!" he yelled at her
"I'm sorry Finn" she said with a sigh to her voice "I just want to explain"
"You have five minutes and then you're out of here" he told her, and she nodded taking whatever he could give her
"I love Finn, and I'm so sorry I never should have ended things, I was angry at you because I tried to look good for you, I wanted you to notice me and want me, I wanted you to love me and I thought by dressing like this that you would never stop looking at me and that it would make you love more than..." she stopped when she realised what she was about to say, what if he threw her out for bringing it up or for eaves dropping in on his conversation?
"Than what?"
Her eyes filled with tears as she said her name "Quinn"
"I love you way more than I love Quinn! Why would you even think that?"
"I heard your conversation the other day, you said you still loved her, but she was with Puck, so..."
Finn let out a laughed and Rachel looked at him with confused eyes, why was he laughing at her? "What's funny?" she asked him
"You didn't hear the whole conversation Rach, We were talking about me having no other brothers or sisters, and I said I look at Quinn like a sister and that I still love her like family even though I should hate her, and that I always want to look out for her, but she has Puck to do that, I don't have any sort of romantic feelings for Quinn, how could I? She broke my heart"
"So you don't love her?"
Finn shook his head "Not in that way, no"
"I've made such a fool out of myself" she said tears spilling down her face
He shifted down the bed towards her and wrapped his arms around, "I'm sorry for acting the way I did, I just didn't like the way you looked because everyone was staring at you, and I want to be the only to look at you like that, you did look hot, but you always do"
More tears feel down her face as she realised what she might have, "I need to tell you something" she sobbed out
He pulled away from her and took her hand, he looked her in her eyes and waited for her to speak. "You're going to hate me" she cried
"I could never hate you" he said shaking his head "Just tell me Rach"
"I...I slept with someone" she told him, she tried to tell him the name but it wouldn't leave her mouth
His features turned to hurt as he looked at her "Who?" he asked his voice serious and hurt at the same time
She took a deep breath "Puck" she said more sobs leaving her body, she felt him let go of her hand and this lead to more tears, she tried to stop them but she couldn't, she hated herself for hurting him, how could she have done that?
His eyes filled with tears as he thought of her with him "Why does he have to take everything that's good in my life!" Finn screamed
"Finn" Rachel said "I told him it was okay, it was my fault! I asked for it, please don't put all the blame on him, I'm the one in the wrong" she cried "I'm sorry" she said "I understand if you want me to go, I just wanted to tell you this, and that I love you" she stood up off the bed and went to cross the room, she didn't get too far, his hand took her and pulled her back to the bed, before she could say anything his lips were joined with hers and his hands were wrapped tightly around her
"We weren't together when you did it" he told her only leaving her lips for a second "I've never loved anyone like I love you, We can get through it, I'm not mad at you, I'm sorry for everything, can we just forget everything happened and go back to before?"
She nodded a smile lightening up her face "I'd love that" she said his lips once again finding hers
"I love you, and I always will love you"
She smiled, she lifted her phone from her pocket and sent a text message 'Thank you for the advice, we're back together, if it wasn't for you I would still be miserable right now, you're a great friend and always will be! See you on Monday...Rach xx' she scrolled through her contacts until she found the recipient, she sent the message to Santana and closed her phone back over
"Who are you texting?" Finn asked her
"Santana" she told him "She's a really good person, and I hope it's ok for me to still hang out with them?" she asked him
He smiled at her "You don't have to ask my permission, but I would appreciate it, if I could come to your next get together instead of Puck?" he said, he really did feel upset today when Brittany asked the guys, he knew that she would be alone with Puck at sometime, but he hoped nothing would happen, he flushed the memory from his head, remembering that they were staring over
"Of course you can" she smiled
He kissed her again, this time he didn't stop, he moved on top of her and lay her on the bed, kissing her with more and more passion by the second "Are you sure?" she asked him
He nodded "I love you" he said "I don't know why I waited this long"
Rachel Berry learnt and important lesson that day, she didn't need to change for the boy who loved her to love her even more, because the love that Finn Hudson had fro Rachel was more than any girl coudl dream off, she made a few mistakes but changing didn't help anything, So when she got home she changed back to her normal self, he skirts and knee socks that Finn loved so much came out of the binbags and back in her wardrobe, she ditched the make up, but she didn't dicth the new friends she made, because those friends were for life. And so was Finn.
Please review & Thanks for reading!