It feels so wrong to be doing it - wrong enough to even drown out the combined grief of three people, for a while. This isn't how it was supposed to go, she isn't the one who was ever supposed to be carrying this - all of them - on her shoulders, and she'd readily, eagerly, and perhaps even cowardly dismissed as unlikely outliers all those futures filled with visions of herself giving out orders and instructions and being looked to for guidance.
Foreknowledge would have done little to help things now, is the thought Garnet chooses to focus on. Rose was going to be gone either way, and Pearl…
Knowing Pearl, she doesn't need anyone else's disappointment right now.
Amethyst isn't anywhere near the Temple, hasn't been around in a while, and probably won't be back any time soon. But the vision is clear and Garnet knows it's unlikely she could deal with the situation in the old lakeside shrine by herself, and so the choice to ask for help is all but made for her. She squares her shoulders and goes to try, holding onto the very small chance that it will work.
"Pearl," she calls at the Temple door, to no response. She could enter her own room and make her way to her goal through the innards of the Temple, but it's something that would win her very little favour. "Pearl, I- we need you. There's a monster-"
The door never opens, but Pearl's voice carries through clearly. "I don't care! I don't care about some mission! Don't you understand? She's gone! Didn't she mean anything to you? How can you just… like nothing ever happened…"
Within seconds, the initial outburst of rage dissolves into heart-rending sounds Garnet decides she can't bear to listen to. It was a tiny chance, anyway, she tells herself in some feeble attempt at comfort as she warps away to take on the gamble of the impending fight without a whip or spear or shield guarding her flank. Pearl just needs some time.
They all do, really, but-
She can do enough to afford the two of her remaining teammates a little of it, at least.
The fight drags on and on, but the monster wears down faster than Garnet does, and the futures in which she wins without a crack in either of her gems finally start multiplying and converging, until, at long last, one of them comes true. She bubbles the corrupted gem, warps back to the Temple, battered but victorious, before the dust of the monster releasing its physical form has had a chance to settle - and finds herself face to face with none other than Pearl.
Time, it turns out, is a small part of what Pearl needs, and in that Garnet was somewhat right. But the Pearl before her is still as far from Rose's trusted and fearsome right-hand Gem, second-in-command, staunchest supporter and chosen successor as Garnet's ever seen her, even in the most hopeless battles of an often seemingly doomed war. She decides then and there she never wants to know what it feels like, to lose the ground beneath your feet like that.
"I'm sorry," Pearl murmurs into Garnet's chest, squeezing with both arms as if trying to keep her from leaving. Garnet lets her, and doesn't complain of the discomfort. "I'm so sorry. I was awful, I let you all down, I-"
"It's ok."
"It's not! It's not, it's not, she trusted me and you did and Amethyst did and I just-"
"Pearl-"
"I'm letting all of you down, but I just can't. Please, Garnet, I just-"
Garnet places both her hands on Pearl's shoulders, then leans down and kisses her forehead, ostensibly hoping to provide comfort, yet also almost on a whim (like she's seen Rose do thousands of times, - a long-held whim, that). Pearl fixes her with a wide-eyed, teary stare, and Garnet doesn't know how to play this off, halfway to cursing herself or one very particular part of herself for this habit of sometimes just doing things.
Rose was in love with everything, but most of all she was in love with being in love. Garnet might be a bit in love with being herself, even after all the years - and really, who can blame her? But Pearl-
She watches Pearl rush off, blue-faced and probably crying again, and three very distinct voices offer Well, that was horrible, and You're not going to just be a replacement, and You do not deserve second best.
She agrees as much as she can, and settles down to figure out where and how to lead all of them from here.
—
"Steven's making wonderful progress."
There is so much pride and love audibly mixing in Pearl's voice that Garnet wonders how she could ever have harboured worries about her taking to the child. "I think it's especially endearing how excited he gets about fusion. He composed an entire song about Opal, did you know? And, well, he loved Sugilite, too…"
Garnet can't help a disapproving and apologetic hum at the thought of that particular fiasco, but lets Pearl know she's following her train of thought by giving her shoulder a squeeze. Their position on the couch is delightfully cosy, and the way Pearl is casually pressed into her side and under her arm adds an enjoyable buzz to the atmosphere.
"Do you think-"
Do you think we should tell him about Ruby and Sapphire?
The prominence of the thought is a sure sign of Garnet's own preoccupation with the issue, as it's not what Pearl ends up asking at all. "Do you think we should try teaching him how to do it himself? He's come rather far, and-"
"There's no better way to understand fusion than experiencing it yourself," Garnet fills in where Pearl hesitates, certain they are both remembering the same night thousands of years ago when they - all three, or four, or five of them - witnessed Rainbow Quartz coming into existence.
The thought hangs in the air between them, unspoken. Steven has the Rose Quartz gem now, so if he were to fuse with one of them - if he were to fuse with Pearl - would Rainbow Quartz return, in some capacity? There are times, more and more frequent, when Rose's presence all but shines off Steven in bright, warm waves. Could the question of Rainbow Quartz end up being one of them?
Garnet misses her, one of her oldest and closest friends, uniquely positioned to understand her in many ways, and she doesn't even want to imagine how this particular ache feels for Pearl. The loss of Rose meant the loss of several dear companions, and it makes Garnet strangely antsy, to contemplate her own existence ending like that.
"I do want him to learn, before he learns things from… somewhere else." Garnet doesn't elaborate, because she knows there's no need to, not after their night at the Galaxy Warp and the herald of a return they couldn't possibly be less ready for.
"Oh," Pearl squirms in the half-hold, immediately agitated, "why now? What could they possibly want? The Red Eye couldn't have reported anything, we made sure of it, and the Communication Hub is down for good… Their timing is atrocious, as always!"
Pearl's outrage is comforting, as is the way she suddenly straightens her back and glowers at imaginary Homeworld intruders all around the living room and the kitchen, and Garnet can't help the small smile tugging at her lips. Thousands of years and countless mellowing experiences later, the Terrifying Renegade still makes an appearance here and there - and Garnet loves the thrill of age-old excitement it sends through her, as well as the sensation of being allowed to step back behind someone, for a change.
"You know, I don't care what they want!" Pearl exclaims, as if reaching an important conclusion. "They have no right to be here, I'm not going back, I'm not letting them lay a hand on you, and I'm most certainly not having Amethyst or Steven exposed to their- their- nonsense!"
If it comes down to it, there is only four of them - by the most generous of reckonings - against the entirety of an empire. Simple words shouldn't provide this much reassurance, Garnet thinks, and yet, somehow, in the warm light of the human dwelling around her and with the feeling of Pearl's narrow shoulders beneath her arm, they do.
—
She can't fume in silent isolation forever, no matter how much she might want to. Garnet steels herself and walks out of the Burning Room, only to see Pearl, of all people, elbow-deep in Peridot's escape pod, tools and parts strewn about the floor.
A chill climbs up Garnet's back, and her tone turns a matching icy. "What are you doing?"
It seems like millennia since she's questioned something, anything, like this, and she feels hot anger flare up, just when she'd gotten it to subside, resenting Pearl just a little bit more for dragging her down to this level.
Pearl flies to her feet like a shot, back snapped tighter and tauter than the hardest of Opal's bowstrings, fingers immediately tangling nervously in front of her chest. "O-oh, Garnet! You startled me!"
Garnet feels her suspicion mounting at the awkward and stammering display before her, and stands there stiffly, eyes more hidden than ever. "What are you doing?"
Pearl looks a bit taken aback, then seems to come to a realisation of what the scene looks like, with all the mess she's made in her rush and the state-of-the-art gemtech parts sticking out from the normally benign, domestic surroundings like so many sore thumbs.
"No, no, nonono! It's nothing like that, I promise!" She steps towards Garnet, and makes as if she's going to grab onto her arm, then flinches back as if burned, even though Garnet hasn't said a thing or made any move to stop her. "I know it's not worth very much right now, but… I promise."
Garnet feels some of the tension - almost painfully ever-present since that evening at the Hub - drain away, and repeats, in a far different and far more tired tone: "What are you doing?"
"I had an idea- that is to say, I thought of a way to track Peridot by detecting whenever she accesses the warp system anywhere on Earth."
Only then does Garnet notice the cables stretching back over the floor and connecting to the warp pad, and feels some guilt mix in with her resentment. Still, she remains silent, offering no comment on Pearl's plans and watching her brow knit with renewed hurt.
Lights start flashing somewhere in the torn-up insides of the escape pod, but before the two of them can even properly register the alarm, a fuse decides to blow and put a rather jarring stop to everything.
"Oh my," Pearl waves off the ensuing sickly green smoke. "Well, it's a good thing I fixed the coolant routing systems when I was setting the engines back up…"
She trails off when she notices Garnet simply standing there, staring.
"It's… not a good thing I fixed the coolant routing systems. But! We'll make the best of a bad situation, and use my… misplaced efforts to catch Peridot! Right, Garnet?"
Garnet turns without another word, and leaves.
—
There's a crash from somewhere inside the barn, and Garnet immediately gets up to check on the situation, all thoughts of cows forgotten. Amethyst and Steven are gone, escorting Peridot to the Kindergarten on a hunt for drill parts, leaving Pearl to work alone. Garnet can't help much with the construction itself, but she can do the heavy lifting - and she dearly hopes the jarring sound wasn't the result of Pearl deciding she didn't need her help, or that she once again had something to prove.
Garnet stops at the barn's wide entrance, taking in the sight of Pearl pacing around in frustration, stepping over scattered mechanical and electrical parts, and ranting to herself.
"Why isn't it working? Oh, I knew it. I'm not cut out for this, and who am I fooling! Thousands of years of playing around, playing at war, playing pretend, and what for? That little shrimp was absolutely right. A jumped-up pearl, trying to convince everyone she's something else, in a place she's never belonged…"
Thousands of years, and sometimes, even after all that she's done and with quite objective evidence of her own brilliance and competence, Pearl still falls into this. Some things are hard, if not impossible to shake, and difficult to watch, too. But maybe, Garnet thinks as she walks up to her, maybe with a little nudge in the right direction-
She puts a gentle hand on Pearl's shoulder, and tugs her around into a hug - one that Pearl melts into easily.
"…Garnet?"
Yes, perhaps she can help cut short at least this instance of it. "Thousands of years, and you're still here. There's something to be said about that, too."
There's a sound that suspiciously resembles a series of sniffles, but Garnet doesn't comment on it, holds Pearl close, and lets her have the use of her chest for as long as she needs it.
"I'm coping!"
The slightly muffled exclamation is as passionate as it is startling - and, for a very brief moment, confusing. "Pearl-"
"You weren't supposed to hear any of that! But I'm doing better! I promise!"
"Pearl, it's all right-"
No matter how calming Garnet tries to make her words, it does nothing to stop Pearl, or dampen her rising vexation - increasingly visible as she raises her head to face Garnet. "It's just, with everything being brought back like this, having to… to work through all these things again, and- you always do so much for all of us-"
"Pearl, I don't mind," Garnet interrupts mildly, deciding to keep her doubts about the again to herself.
"But you said- I mean, when we were in that ship, and I said- no more of this, and I promised. You can't keep giving me all these chances, when I just keep disappointing, even over the smallest of things, like… like this ridiculous circuit that simply refuses to work!"
"Pearl," Garnet tries with a bit more firmness, "that isn't what I meant, and I wouldn't ask that of anyone. I just wanted you to try, and that's what you're doing. There's nothing disappointing about that." The sound Pearl makes speaks of disagreement, but Garnet presses on. "For a while there, it felt a lot like you were giving up. You hurt me, and made me feel I couldn't trust you. And you have to understand, I can't afford to lose you - nor do I want to."
There is another silent again in there somewhere, or a not you too. It is quite a weighty statement as it is, however, and it hangs between them for a while.
"So this is… fine?" Pearl asks finally, not quite able to look up, hands floating an inch above Garnet's arms and blatantly hoping to find a resting place.
Garnet gives her a small nod, and a smaller smile, and pulls her back into an embrace. It's returned, this time, quite eagerly and tightly.
"I missed this," comes another tiny, muffled confession.
"So did I," Garnet replies, and feels Pearl's shoulders shake slightly. "Amethyst was right. We have a lot to talk about."
"Do we? I mean. Yes, I suppose we do," Pearl pauses for another sniffle, but the despondency seems to be mostly gone from her voice. "Fourteen years of it, at least. Hopefully without any imminent threats of death, too. I just… don't know where to start."
"We'll figure it out. Sit down a bit. Work through some things, like we should've done years ago, together," Garnet pauses, perhaps for effect. "We'll be ok."
"We… will?" Pearl is either hopeful or terrified, and Garnet can't quite tell which.
"I can't promise it'll ever be easy, or that it won't take a while, but I know we can handle it."
"Is that… future vision?" Pearl asks, with awe creeping into her voice.
"Nope," Garnet gives her the most charming grin she can manage. "No need for that. I know, because I-"
"Oh, nooo," Pearl moans and buries her face back in its hiding place, but the tinge of blue is unmistakeable. "Are you about to tell me you believe in me, Garnet, because I might just- oh!"
Pearl's startled exclamation into the general region of Garnet's upper torso is sudden and accompanied by small shoves and attempts at extricating herself from the very hold she was snuggling into mere moments ago.
"Pearl-"
"No, no, it's fine, I just realised I forgot to connect the decoupling capacitors I was preparing before I left to fetch Steven's shirts from the clothesline- of course nothing works! Oh dear, what a silly thing to have slipped my mind, really now-"
Garnet finds she can do little but let her go, and watch her as she rushes back to work in a flurry of activity. It's not altogether a bad start, she thinks - not a bad start at all.
—
For a good while after her fateful tumble into the hidden rose garden, it's just the three of them. The rebellion headquarters, as Pearl proudly calls them, are far from anything impressive by any sort of standard Garnet or Ruby or Sapphire have ever known, but they are also startlingly unlike anything any of them have ever experienced, giving it all an awe-inspiring air.
Just Pearl herself would be enough to qualify, Garnet firmly believes, and her belief is reinforced particularly strongly every time they get into trouble - which is increasingly often.
In this particular instance, Pearl and her painstakingly maintained swords are all that stands between Garnet - sprawled out on the floor where she was knocked down almost as soon as the fight began - and the band of orange-red battle-ready and eager quartzes carefully spread out in a half-circle.
"Do you know what that is?" The carnelian who seems to be in charge makes sure her voice is dripping with contempt as she speaks, and Garnet can see Pearl's knuckles turn white with the tightening of the grip she keeps on both hilts. "It's the freak fusion of Blue Diamond's runaway Sapphire, and the ruby guard - step away from them, pearl. They're wanted Gems."
"She is under the protection of Rose Quartz, and so under my protection, too. I suggest you step away yourself, carnelian."
Pearl seems so good at replicating and throwing back the derision with which the enemy soldier addressed her, in a way that speaks of ages of practice - and Garnet finds she doesn't like this realisation at all. She isn't sure how to feel about the flutter in her chest as Pearl takes a step forward, raising her weapons in an obvious threat.
"What," one of the other quartzes laughs, "did Rose Quartz train her pearl to do sword tricks?"
"Why don't you all come and see?" Pearl's voice turns so low and so dangerous Garnet can't help but shudder, even though it's aimed at anyone but her. She remembers the feeling of having Pearl's sword pointed at her neck, and finds, at least in this case, little difference between blade and words.
But there is an admiration now, changing the tint of it all. Some of it, Garnet thinks amidst the still confusing state of her inner being, might even be turning into a strange kind of affection.
She doesn't have much time to ponder any of it, as one of the soldiers roars and launches herself at Pearl, starting a lightning-fast chain reaction. Pearl is unapologetically fierce, unforgiving towards their - well, Garnet's attackers, primarily. And it's clear she knows the value of fighting in a way none of them - quartzes all, and made for it - could ever hope to.
"I really need to teach you some basics, so you can start pulling your weight better," Pearl remarks, more to herself than anything, once it's over. She puts away her swords in a few well-practised motions and offers Garnet a hand up.
It seems to be, oddly enough, the first time they've actually touched, despite the fact they've been living and hiding together for quite some time. Garnet hesitates, and she isn't quite sure why, exactly - she isn't afraid of the so-called Terrifying Renegade any more, she doesn't think, even after the impressive display she's just been witness to. It feels more like a building anticipation, perhaps, as she's pulled to her feet. For all her spindly and wiry and deceptively fragile appearance, Pearl's grip is firm and secure and Garnet doesn't even know why she's still surprised by these things about her certainly impressive companion.
Pearl's fingers leave strange tingly trails on Garnet's wrist and palm as she lets go and resumes their trek back to the hideout, muttering something about how Rose will be worried if they're late.
Garnet rubs a slightly nervous thumb against the gem on her right hand, and follows after her.