Disclaimer: Crushingly not mine.
A/N: Written as a request for Insanepurin, who wanted Nicole/Sally. Since I've been too poor to follow the comics since 2006 (I live in the UK and have to pay extra import charges if I want to read them), I had to write for the SatAM universe, which made this an … interesting challenge.
More Than Just Metal and Wires
© Scribbler, October 2008.
Sally had always known NICOLE was implanted with a personality chip. How else had she been able to adapt to speaking with Sonic and massage his ego? How else had Sally always been able to justify calling a computer 'she' instead of the more accurate 'it'? NICOLE was the ultimate in adaptive technology, with an ability to learn and function like a real Mobian, but she was still just a computer. Even so, sometimes it was easy to forget she was actually a hunk of metal who had never, actually, been alive, not the spirit of some creature trapped inside the small box clipped to Sally's boot.
Sally appreciated NICOLE in ways she didn't – couldn't – share with other Freedom Fighters. In a way, NICOLE allowed her to be freer with herself than she could be even with Sonic or Bunnie. With the others she constantly had to be the leader, the one in charge who always knew what she was doing. If she'd asked them she would have learned this wasn't the case, but in Sally's own head she'd set herself boundaries she couldn't cross – except when she was alone with NICOLE. NICOLE may have had a personality chip, but she wouldn't judge Sally for doubting herself, or for not being as strong on the inside as she pretended to be on the outside.
"YOUR EYES ARE LEAKING, SALLY."
Sally fumbled for one of the handkerchiefs Rosie always made sure she carried. Since she was a little girl Rosie had been tucking one or more into the pocket of her vest, or her dress, or whatever else she was wearing, even going so far as to stuff them into the toes of her boots. Often she hid them around Sally's study as she cleaned, too, so Sally only had to look for a second to find one now. She blew her nose and rested her chin on her folded arms on the tabletop, staring at NICOLE's blinking diodes propped against the pile of maps.
"I'm sorry, NICOLE. I'm just getting a bit overemotional tonight." It had been an awful week, after all – failed mission after failed mission, with survival taking the place of actual victory after Robotnik installed heat-sensing homing missiles on his SWATbots. Bunnie had been injured, Rotor had nearly been roboticised when he was captured, and they'd had to abandon their salvaged SWATpod in his rescue. It had taken until now for the cracks to show, but with everyone else in bed, and surrounded by the evidence of her disastrous plans, Sally had broken down.
"APOLOGIES ATE NOT NECESSARY, SALLY. EMOTIONS ARE UNAVOIDABLE."
"I shouldn't be crying over spilled milk, though. I should be figuring out our next move, not wallowing in self-pity."
"YOU ARE MORTAL, SALLY. YOU HAVE EMOTIONS, AND EMOTIONS CANNOT BE CATEGORISED OR LIMITED TO WHEN THEY ARE APPROPRIATE. THEIR UNPREDICTABILITY IS PROOF THAT YOU ARE ALIVE."
Sally blinked. "I guess …"
"YOU FEAR THAT YOU ARE NOT WORTHY OF THE RESPONSIBILITY PLACED ON YOU. I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT YOU ARE. YOUR EMOTIONS PROVE THIS."
"How?"
"YOU ARE NOT A MACHINE. YOU ARE ABLE TO THINK AND FEEL. YOU UNDERSTAND THAT THE SHORTEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS IS NOT ALWAYS A STRAIGHT LINE. YOU UNDERSTAND MITIGATING FACTORS. YOU UNDERSTAND THE SANCTITY OF LIFE. THESE ARE ALL EVIDENCE THAT YOU ARE MORE THAN QUALIFIED TO BE LEADER OF THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS. YOU CAMPAIGN AGAINST ROBOTNIK AND USE FORMIDABLE INTELLECT IN THIS TASK, BUT YOU DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF WHAT IS TRULY IMPORTANT – THE LIVES AND SAFETY OF YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY."
"I … that's quite profound, NICOLE." Sally sniffed and dabbed at her eyes. "Thank you. I appreciate the vote of confidence."
"I HAVE ALWAYS HAD EVERY CONFIDENCE IN YOU, SALLY."
Strange, Sally thought as she cleared away what she'd been working on, that Sonic could say exactly the same thing and she would probably have shrugged it off as him just trying to make her stop crying. When NICOLE said it, however, Sally knew she didn't have any ulterior motive. NICOLE couldn't feel sorry for Sally, or uncomfortable at being in the presence of someone sobbing their heart out because it was all getting too much. NICOLE may have been the most advanced computer on Mobius, but even her programming didn't stretch as far as replicating actual emotions.
"DO YOU FEEL BETTER NOW, SALLY?"
"Yes. Thank you, NICOLE."
"I AM GLAD, SALLY. I DO NOT WISH FOR YOU TO BE SAD. YOU SHOULD SMILE MORE."
Sally paused. That was even more profound, in its own way, than the words of comfort. "I … um, thank you. That's sweet of you to say so, NICOLE."
There was a beat of silence before NICOLE responded. "SWEET EQUALS OF PLEASANT FLAVOURING IN MEMORY BANKS. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND YOUR USE OF THE WORD, SALLY."
For some reason the knot in Sally's stomach undid itself. She paused. She hadn't even realised it was there until it was gone. "Never mind. It was nice of you to say that, is all."
"YOU ARE VERY WELCOME, SALLY."
Sally smiled, finished packing away her things and retreated to bed. Less than ten minutes later exhaustion claimed her. Her breathing evened out and she was fast asleep, huddled beneath the bedclothes just as she had been when she was five and first gained both NICOLE and her mission to overthrow Robotnik's evil empire, each a gift from her father that he hadn't intended to give her.
On the nightstand NICOLE blinked her diodes, like a nightlight in the room of a small and frightened child. "YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME, SALLY. I WILL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU," she said softly, as though whispering so as not to wake anyone with her strangely heartfelt words. But that was more sensitive than a computer with no heart was capable of being. After all, a personality chip was no substitute for a soul.
Right?
Fin.