The Nargles Hung the Mistletoe 2
One-Shot
Written by: chochowilliams
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the characters, places or names. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Summary: Last year, a potions mishap gave Draco Malfoy women's breasts for Christmas. This year, Draco Malfoy gave someone else women's breasts for Christmas.
Warning: Sequel, AU, Post-Hogwarts, Non-epilogue Compliant, Humor, Potions Mishap
Pairings: Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy, Implied Ron Weasley/Hermione Granger
Inserts: -
A/N: It is not necessary to have read the previous work in order to understand this story. Enjoy.
oOo
It wasn't unexpected when the door to Harry Potter's office flew open, smashing into the wall with a resounding thud that shook the entire room.
Harry sighed and set down his quill. "Draco," he greeted the potions master who charged into the office as if he owned it.
"Harry," Draco returned. With a flick of his wand, he halted the back swing of the door before it could hit him.
"Must you destroy my office every time you visit?" Harry inquired in exasperation at the sight of the huge dent in the wall.
Another flick of Draco's wand and the damaged wall was whole once more. "Better?"
"It'll do." Harry reclined back in his desk chair. "Now-what is so important that you felt the need to demolish my office in the rush to tell me?"
Draco purposefully strode forward. "Do you remember last year when I-"
"Had tits?" Harry smirked, his eyes twinkling in amusement. "Very much so. Why?" His smirk morphed into a toothy grin. "Did it happen again?"
"Of course not," Draco sniffed, jerking his pointy chin into the air.
"Would you tell me if it did?" Harry teased.
Draco gazed at Harry out of the corner of his eye. "You'd like that wouldn't you?"
Harry grinned. "Most certainly."
Draco sneered.
Harry chuckled. "So if you didn't give yourself boobs, then-?"
"Well," Draco drawled, a self-satisfied smirk worked its way across his face. "I might not be the one with woman's breasts this year but…Weasley cannot say the same."
Surprise widened Harry's eyes. "What?" he sputtered.
Draco chuckled.
Harry was not sure if it sounded more amused or evil. Knowing Draco as he did, Harry bet on the latter. He narrowed his gaze. "What did you do?" he demanded suspiciously.
"Me?" Draco cried out with a hand splayed over his breastbone. His steely-eyed gaze displayed a look of innocence that Harry had a difficult time believing. "I did absolutely nothing."
"Really?" Harry stared at Draco with a cocked eyebrow. "Why don't I believe you?"
"Oh please," Draco sneered in contempt. He pulled out one of the visitor's chair and settled upon it like a king upon his throne. "Who do you take me for? A Weasley?"
That comment Harry chose to ignore. He was in no mood to get into yet another argument with Draco over the Weasleys. They were a topic Harry felt he and Draco would be fighting about on their deathbeds. Besides, Draco was right…for the most part-though Harry would never admit it. Of course, that did not stop Harry from clenching his jaw in annoyance or stop his eye from twitching. "Dray," he sighed, sounding as tired as he felt.
Huffing quite un-Malfoy-like, Draco crossed his legs-his foot bouncing rapidly-and folded his arms over his chest. "Fine," he bit, turning his gaze out the window that had been enchanted to look out into the Ministry atrium.
Harry felt a headache coming on.
Draco once asked Harry why the window in his office did not look out on something more picturesque, like the Malfoy Manor gardens for example. Why the Atrium of all places? Unfortunately, Harry found the more scenic views were not so distracting. A scene as bland as the Atrium assured that Harry actually did his paperwork.
With a sigh, the tension left Draco. In its place was a smirk. He turned back towards Harry as he laced his fingers together in his lap. "I was in the middle of working on a potion for a client when Weasley comes bursting into my laboratory as if-"
"-he owned it?" Harry finished. "I cannot fathom what that feels like."
Draco stared blandly at the raven-haired auror. "Done? I'd like to finish."
Harry mimed zipping his lips.
Ignoring the dramatics, Draco continued. "As I was saying, I was at a very delicate stage in the brewing process when Weasley busts down the door demanding to know where his potion is-"
Harry shot up straight, panic racing through his system. "Wait! What? What potion?"
Draco held out a hand and shook his head. "That is something you will have to ask Weasley. I am not at liberty to say."
Harry wanted to protest and demand in no uncertain terms that Draco tell him what potion Ron was taking and why, but there was no point in nagging Draco about it because he would never break a client's confidence-even if said client was part of a family that his family has had a blood feud with for generations. The strict confidentiality Draco had with his clients was one of the main reasons why he was so in demand.
"Fine, but at least…" Harry was not sure if he would be able to handle it if something happened to his best mate. "Is he-?"
"It's nothing serious," Draco assured him. "Merely-embarrassing."
"Oh." Harry heaved a sigh of relief. Thank Merlin, he thought. Though he was confused as to what condition Ron would find so embarrassing that he felt he could not talk about it to Harry, a condition that required taking potions… "Oh!" Realization had him blushing in discomfiture. "Uhm…Yeah…" He cleared his throat and fidgeted slightly. "So…uh…"
With a barely noticeable smirk, Draco waved it all aside. "So Weasley storms my lab-"
"The one at the apothecary?"
"Yes," Draco confirmed, "having had to get passed Miles working the counter and then shatter the protective wards I had up to keep any mishaps from destroying my shop. Anyway, he storms in as if he is leading a raid and the jar of quills I was holding drops into the cauldron."
While Harry might be pants at potions, for which he wholeheartedly blamed Snape for, he knew enough to realize how disastrous that was, especially considering what he already knew happened as a result. He winced. "Ooh."
Draco accepted Harry sympathy with a nod. "Suffice it to say that when the smoke cleared Weasley had a pair of well endowed lady lumps. Very nice and perky I might add."
Harry chocked.
"Did you know that Weasley screams like a girl?" Draco asked matter of fact with a conspiratorial smirk.
Fighting the laugh he could feel bubbling up inside him was a futile battle, but Harry would not give in-no matter how amusing the image was that popped into his mind of Ron with breasts. He had to clear his throat before he could speak. If the grin on Draco's face was any indication, he was well aware of Harry's predicament. "You did tell him that it was a temporary disfigurement right?"
"Well," Draco drawled. "I might have neglected to mention that."
Harry sighed. "Of course you did."
"Weasley has no one to blame but himself," Draco said unapologetically. "I would have explained how they would disappear in four to six weeks, but he started throwing curses and borderline hexes at me-"
A second lasted a lifetime when your heart just about stopped. "He what?"
Though Draco waved Harry's concern aside as if it were unnecessary, Harry could see the man practically glowing with pride. "I appreciate the concern, but you need not worry. Weasley came nowhere near to hitting me."
Of course the singed hair on the back of Draco's hand belied that, but Harry let it go-for now.
Draco may have his opinion about the Weasleys, especially Ron himself, but the man never forgot that they were Harry's family.
"One must try to behave whenever it concerned the future in-laws," Draco said once.
Harry still blushed whenever he thought about that.
"I did what any sane wizard in my shoes would do," Draco was saying.
"Run?"
"I refuse to be blamed for something I did not do. If Weasley would stop and think once in a while…"
Given the animosity that lingered between Ron and Draco despite the fact that the two were no longer children, Harry was not surprised that Ron leapt to the conclusion that Draco had deliberately cursed him.
"Where is Ron now?"
Draco shrugged. "I do not know nor do I care, though if I were to hazard a guess, I would say that he is on his way here to file a complaint against me for 'giving him' boobs."
Sighing, Harry slumped down in his chair and scrubbed his hands over face before combing them through his hair. Dropping his hands, he blinked across the desk at Draco who merely cocked an eyebrow in return. "Why would he storm your lab for his potion though? Did you also neglect to tell him when it would be finished?"
"Witty, Potter, real witty."
"Thank you," Harry smirked.
Draco huffed out a snort. "Actually, there was an expected complication," he explained. "One of the main ingredients-barrenwort that I have imported directly from China-was destroyed in an unexpected-and unseasonable-frost, so I had to scramble and search for other distributors. Fortunately, I found one in France. The shipment is scheduled to arrive sometime this weekend."
"And you told him this."
"Of course I did," Draco said feeling insulted.
Harry nodded. After all, Draco had a business to run. A business could not stay operational very long if its customers and clients could not trust the proprietor.
"I contacted all those whose potions would be affected and informed them there would be a delay. For those who could not wait, for whatever reason, I suggested several other apothecaries that would be willing to aid them. Why Weasley believed I refused to make his potion out of spite I have no clue. None of my other clients affected by the delay made a scene; they were all very understanding. Weasley, on the other hand, after the way he attacked me as if I was a common criminal, I will not be making his potions in the future."
Sitting back, Harry nodded with a tired sigh. He loved Ron; he really did, but this unapologetic animosity he felt towards not just Draco but Slytherins in general was exasperating. "I'll have a talk with him."
"Do." Draco rose to his feet and said as he rounded the desk to stand behind Harry's chair, "Remind him this truce he suggested for your sake is a two way street and so far, he has done a poor job of keeping up his end."
Harry hummed. The problem with Ron was his wavering loyalty and inability to fully trust. Harry himself had been a victim of this unpredictability more times than he cared to admit.
Then all thought fled as his body practically melted under the skillful hands of one Draco Malfoy. With a loud groan, Harry dropped his head to his chest.
"Like that Harry?" Draco breathed into Harry's ear, causing the raven-haired man to shudder.
Harry opened his mouth-what he would have been able to say when his mind was complete mush he had no idea-when for the second time that morning, the door to his office burst open. It smashed into the wall with an earsplitting bang that had several of Harry's framed awards and certificates crashing to the floor.
"Weasley."
Harry could practically see the sneer aimed at the ginger haired man standing in the doorway, his chest heaving and his face redder than his hair. Automatically, his gaze traveled Weasley's frame. Even hidden by voluminous robes, Harry could make out the unmistaken shape of breasts. He had to bit hip to keep from snickering at his friend's plight.
"Nice tits Weasley. They suit you."
Harry sighed. How many times would he have to tell Draco not to antagonize Ron like that?
His face red with rage, Ron strode forward, his wand out and pointed over Harry's head at Draco. "You-!"
Having had enough, Harry jumped to his feet-hearing Draco grunt as the chair bashed into him-and in a blink of an eye had his wand in his hand and then Ron's wand in his other hand and Ron himself in a body-bind. Then he sent a memo to Auror Tillie. "Don't you dare give me that look Ronald Weasley," he snapped angrily at his best mate laying prone on the floor and eying him in betrayal. "You brought this onto yourself." He strode out from behind his desk and squatted down besides Ron. "Draco told me his version of events. Now I would like to hear your version. But if you attack Draco, I will not hesitate to body bind you again. Do not make this any harder on yourself than it already is." Harry released just Ron's head. "Understand?"
"Yes," Ron bit.
Harry nodded and released Ron. Keeping his eye on Ron who was eying Draco with distaste and undisguised hatred, Harry stepped back as the man unsteadily got to his feet. "Take a seat Ron and tell me what happened."
"What about him?" Ron demanded with a jerk of his chin as he slid into one of the visitor's chairs.
"Don't worry about him," Harry said. He eyed the man behind his desk. "Draco will keep his mouth shut."
With a look of innocence on his face, Draco placed his left hand over his heart while he held up the first three fingers of his right hand. "Scout's honor."
Despite himself, Harry's lips twitched. "Git."
Though Ron's face was beginning to morph into an unhealthy purple, he did not say anything.
"Stand over there and be good," Harry told Draco with a wave of his hand.
"Sir, yes, Sir," Draco saluted. Then with perfect precision, he turned and marched the few feet to the window.
Shaking his head and rolling his eyes with a sigh, Harry settled back behind his desk. "Alright." Leaning forward over his desk, Harry folded his hands and gazed at his friend. "Let's hear it. What happened? Don't look at Draco," he scolded the other man when his gaze wandered to Draco. "Look only at me. What happened?"
Ron's story was almost identical to the one Draco told him. The only difference was Ron's insistence that there was no supposed delay.
"Ron, why would he lie?"
"Just to spite me that's why!" Ron emphasized his point by slamming a fist into the arm of the chair.
Harry reached under his glasses to rub his eye. "Ron," he sighed.
"You don't believe me!"
"I did not say that," Harry said as he straightened his glasses.
"You didn't have to!"
"Ron, sit down, please."
"No!"
Harry scowled and climbed to his feet as well. "Ron, you are being ridiculous! You have no proof to verify your claims. Draco does." He spared the man a glance who inclined his head at the unspoken question. "He's made your potion every time you needed it before this hasn't he? Hasn't he?" he repeated when Ron stubbornly refused to answer.
His arms crossed over his chest, his lips pursed together so tightly they practically disappeared, Ron merely gave a jerk of his head to the affirmative.
"There you go," Harry said, spreading out his arms out before dropping them back to his sides. "You are not the only one affected by this delay, Ron. First and foremost, Draco is a businessman. He is not going to risk business by being discourteous to his customers. If he were going to do anything out of spite, he never would have agreed to make your potion in the first place. And he certainly never would have accepted your truce. He has made every effort to accommodate you despite everything and what do you do? Toss his efforts in his face."
Ron winced.
"Look," Harry continued more gently, "I know you have issues with Draco, but he is a part of my life now, has been for the past year, and will continue to be so for the foreseeable future. That is something you and the others are just going to have to accept whether you like it or not."
Dropping his arms, Ron turned to Harry. "Harry, I…I'm…"
"Don't force me to choose Ron."
A sad look on his face, Ron nodded.
Movement in the doorway caught Harry's eye. "All right. I want you to go with Auror Tillie and she'll take your statement."
"What happens then?"
"It depends on whether or not Draco decides to file charges."
Without glancing at Harry, Draco or Auror Tillie, Ron allowed himself to be steered from the office.
Cursing under his breath, Harry flopped back down into his chair.
"You okay?" Draco asked from right behind him. Harry had not even heard him move.
"I don't know," Harry admitted. Tipping his head back against the back of the chair, he smiled weakly up at the tall blond-haired potions master. "I'm sorry. I never thought…"
Draco shook his head. "You should not apologize for the actions of others. Ron is a grown adult and made his own choice. Now he has to deal with the consequences."
Closing his eyes, Harry nodded sadly.
When Draco's lips connected with his own, Harry reached up to thread a hand within his silky blond locks. The kiss remained chaste, for which Harry was grateful.
"I love you," he whispered when he allowed Draco finally to pull away.
A soft smile on his face, Draco reached out to touch Harry's cheek. "I know."
Harry snorted. "Git."
Draco chuckled.
When Draco pulled back completely, Harry caught a glimpse of the ceiling. He blinked in amazement. "What the-?"
"What is it?" Draco frowned down at him.
Without a word, Harry pointed. "Am I seeing things? Or-?"
Draco tipped his head back. "I don't know. What are you seeing?"
"Mistletoe."
Draco eyed him suspiciously before returning his gaze to the sprig of greenery. "I don't remember it being there earlier."
Harry shook his head. "'Cause it wasn't."
Draco cocked an eyebrow at him. "Really?"
Wordlessly, Harry nodded.
"And you are going to sit there and tell me you had nothing to do with its mysterious appearance?"
"Hand to Merlin," Harry said.
"Uh huh. Then how did mistletoe mysteriously appear right above us? Nargles?"
"Has to be," Harry breathed.
"Honestly," Draco muttered. "You're clearly been trapped in this office too long. Why don't we finish dealing with Weasley and then go home?"
A sly smirk curling across his lips, Harry eyed his lover as he slowly got to his feet. "Really now?"
Draco hummed, his steely-eyed gaze filled with mirth and mischief. "We have a mountain of presents that need to be wrapped," he said as he sauntered out of the office, Harry gaping after him.
…The End
A/N: This was supposed to be out before Christmas, but unfortunately, on Monday (23 December 2013) I had to put my cat down after she had a series of seizures. As a result, I had neither the energy nor the interest to finish it in time. I apologize if it seems rushed or there are mistakes I may have missed. Thank you.