I waited. I died. I started to live again. I just suddenly became. I did not wake; I did not open my eyes.
She closed them instead, the memories fading into one another.
Ferox stood on the crest of a frozen hill, shining like her coat as it bathed in the sunrise. She looked around dazed. She felt like crying and yet she had nothing to cry about. Something was missing. She looked up to the clouds in a hope they could remind her. But they didn't; they swallowed the sun as it emerged from the horizon.
From somewhere about a day's walk away a Pokémon howled as if they could feel her discomfort. She remained silent and the cold wind lifted her chestnut fur. Taking a single step forward, she watched it sink into the snow. So cold but so gentle, like the touch of a traitor. She took two more; and more until the motion was like clockwork. Her paced grew faster and faster so that she began to take great leaps across the ice, her feet smacking the hardening but not growing any colder.
She opened her eyes again and saw her blood drip down the rocks. Two months since then was not enough to learn that the world is dangerous. She had fallen forty feet onto the slippery moss-covered rocks and lay in pain, wondering why. Why had that cliff been so unstable? Why had she made the choice to take the risk? Why was she still alive? Her ears flicked weakly to the rhythm of flowing water and watched her tail drift dreamily on the water's surface. To die here would be… She was not afraid.
Across the river an Ursaring crouched down to drink. Ferox eyed it bitterly and growled with as much strength as she had. The bear rose to two feet with the water dripping from its muzzle.
"You. Who are you?" it bellowed, pointing at her with its claw. She said nothing, for it was painful to speak.
"Answer me." She tried to reply but found her voice was too faint for the Pokémon to hear. It snarled, demining her to speak louder.
"I don't know," she coughed, hoping it would leave.
"You've forgotten then? How can you forget?"
"There is nothing to remember."
"You must have a history, Mightyena," it stated, begging to look puzzled. Ferox squinted and began to pant heavily.
From the moment I heard the cry across the frozen land I knew it wasn't calling me. But felt a longing inside me to find it before it died. So I ran toward it in the sunrise. I ran for a day until the sun climbed down from the sky again and I collapsed exhausted. Yet I had succeeded n my quest. I had found it. A lone Houndoom was howling to the sky. It did not sound natural; it was sad and hollow, dying only when the ice swallowed it. He ceased and turned his head to me.
"A shiny," was all I heard him say until morning.
"A Houndoom? People cull them," exclaimed the Ursaring as Ferox realised she had been talking aloud.
"Y-yes. He did not say he had a name but as I wandered he followed me. He watched out for me. He even hunted for me; I had never eaten meat before then. We were friends; he told me he had a pack before then, before he found me. Or… I found him."
"A pack? What's a pack?" I asked.
He looked at me, amazed, "A family? Your parents and your siblings?"
"I never had any." I looked at him and he blinked in astonishment. Was this Mightyena a spirit or ghost? He laughed and made a quick assumption.
"You must have."
I shook my head but we cast the matter aside.
"I had a mate. I had cubs too."
"Do you miss them?"
"Some of them. When I was separated from them I looked for something to hold on to, something to protect." He looked to me.
That was all he ever told me. He never told me much; he liked to talk, but not about himself. It feels like I never truly knew him.
It was just two months from when he started following me when he did not come back. I'd grown attached so when I found him…
It was terrible. He was lying behind a tree with his horns broken off. He was almost dead.
"I-I can save you!" I trembled but I knew I could not. He simply rolled over to reveal a bullet hole in his abdomen. He did not waste his breath.
"Kill me, but first-"
"NO!" I yelled.
"First, will you have my revenge?"
Nodded and began to growl.
"A human. Slay one. Slay all of them," he snarled.
I gasped.
"No? Then just kill me. Please."
I shook my head in horror and turned away, ready to flee.
"Please…"
I looked back at his face, and in it I saw his anger. I felt his anger and hatred of men. I could not help but channel my fury into my jaws and into his neck. The Houndoom screamed, but I knew I'd done the right thing. His hoarse breathing ceased and I was alone…
Ferox closed her eyes without looking at the Pokémon on the other side, who seemed to have gone suddenly quiet. She didn't wait for it to say anything.
After that, I changed my mind for him. I set out to kill a human. I travelled around the outskirts of the grand and terrible cities that they called their home. Almost gave in, and it was only when I was returning to sulk behind a tree somewhere by myself that I caught the scent. A boy; alone, without protection.
I tracked its smell for days, it must've travelled far. Maybe it was searching for something too.
When I finally found it I was almost too tied to do chase it. I found it in unfamiliar territory, here in the mountains. Its smell was ripe and I was out for blood.
When I saw the fear in its eyes it gave me a wicked feeling of contentment and my instinct controlled me; I charged.
It ran scrambled up the rocks and I followed, taking the easiest way I could. I was surprised at its agility but though it was scared I was still faster. The chase didn't last long, as we edged around a sheer drop the human lost its footing and fell, hanging only by its hands. We had reached a dead end; from here, the only way was down. I leant back to strike…
It was almost a pity I didn't have hands then, for as I reared up I hesitated, just for a moment. I don't really know why. Was I guilt? Was it shame? It didn't matter, in that split second the ground beneath my feet gave way. I lunged desperately, hoping I hadn't missed my chance. I had. I fell for what seemed like an eternity. They say that your life flashes before your eyes but that never happened. I couldn't remember anything.
In my flailing I somehow managed to grind my head against the rock face. I relished in silent agony in the little time it took to strip my forehead of fur and draw blood; I felt delight in the punishment it gave me.
I landed.
My life is over.
Ferox opened her eyes again, on the brink of crying. She looked across the river bitterly. The Ursaring was gone. The tears tipped out of her eyes and she felt herself start to slide off the blood-stained moss. She fell in submission into the mountain river. She saw hear tears and her blood combine in the clear water.