You won't be mine
by Josephine
July 23, 2000
PG
AU fic, UC couple Mi/L, use auras from books but in TV universe, sorta.
I don't own them, alright? Lyrics by matchbox twenty.
You won't be mine
I looked up and there she was, her beautiful dark brown eyes smiling right
into mine. There was no pretense, not here where there was no one around
but ourselves. The soft glow from the street lamp nearby was the only light,
cast overhead to turn normally eerie shadows into dancing reflections of
her.
"Thanks for coming." I said, unable to tear my eyes from hers, her face
drew me in, in a way I had never experianced with anyone else. I had let
her in. She knew every part of my entire being and she loved me in spite
of it- or maybe for it.
I had seen her soul too, and I hadn't been dissapointed. She was as amazing
and graceful on the inside as she seemed from the distance I had kept for so
long. She let me see her, the real her.
In responce to my shy thanks, she placed a hand that hummed with energy on
my cheek, and ran her first two fingers through my hair over my ear. She
prompted me to bring up my own hand and finger her soft, full hair. I
brought it to my nose and drank in the lavender purity of her aura.
"There was something you wanted to tell me?" I froze, pulling back my hand
slightly. Could I go through with it? I didn't know if I could stand
feeling her measure where her loyalties lay- weather or not they lay with me.
"Yes." I decided to stall. "But later. Let's enjoy the beautiful night."
I grasped her hand in my own and broke into a half run, feeling like a child
again, tugging my friend to the sandbox. We were headed into the dark, but
I knew this place well. I could not lose her, now or ever. I would be lost
without her light near me.
"Where are we going?" she gasped, trying to keep up and repress the laughter
that kept escaping and tickling her aura with a quiet sudden flaring of
pink.
"You'll see." I couldn't resist answering, knowing that I was driving her
mad with my inconclusive answers. She had to know, even now I could see
the thoughtfullness in her face, deducing the facts to find an answer.
"Stop thinking." I jerked her arm and flashed her a smile. "I want this to
be a suprize."
She mock frowned in responce, but began to follow without question, almost
pushing me forward to reach our destination.
The only problem was- I didn't exactly know where that was at the moment.
Not the cliff, stargazing was fun, but not tonight. Something that would
leave her breathless and force her to see the truth, not what she had
guessed as the truth.
We were nearing the woods now, I glanced back at her, our auras glowing
with unblocked happiness. We were children, our souls had become young
again. We had seen too much, too much to forget, but for the moment every
hindrance fell away and we were giddy with the joy of youth.
In a flash I had come to a complete halt, flopping down onto the ground.
She came down with me in a whirl of hair and laughs, always finding the
hilarity in what could have been an awkward situation. Suddenly the
laughter that had also come from me slowed to a stop, and we both realized
the obvious. She was on top of me. I licked my dry lips and she manuvered
herself to lay next to me on the pine needle coated ground.
Even her aura blushed.
We lay there breathing and looking up at the stars throught the gap in the
trees overhead. I could sence her beside me, and I knew I had to tell her
and suffer the consequences.
"Liz," I started, and had to swallow. "I-"
"You know you're one of my best friends, Michael?" She knew. She had known
what I was going to say and she couldn't hear it. I was willing to give up
everything for this, for her, for us. And she had shoved it away.
I couldn't answer, if I spoke or even opened my eyes I would shatter.
Shatter, and every broken piece of me would grind into the others until I
just faded away. I felt more than saw her turn towards me, her face moving
close to me, her lips almost brushing my ears. "You do know that, don't
you, Michael?" She was pleading with me, begging me to realize that she
could never bear to hurt Max or Maria for her own happiness.
I winced and brushed my hand over my eyes. I didn't know if I could 'just
be friends'. "Yeah." I managed, full of a gust of a sigh I didn't mean for
her to hear.
When was the last time I had cried? Why did Liz Parker hold this force
over me that I couldn't be without her, I couldn't stand not being able to
kiss her, hold her, and tell her I love her.
The thing was, she loved me back but she would never be mine.
But I would never be anyone else's but her's.
She sat up next to me, and we stared into each other's eyes for an eternity,
her aura shifting to a deep blue and gray. Without warning, she was there,
kissing me full on the lips, pulling me to her with both hands like she
would never let go. Why was she doing this? But I couldn't control my own
hands, pulling her body closer. I was kissing her back.
The kiss only seemed like a few seconds, but must have infact been a while,
because my heart was racing and I was having trouble breathing. "Why can't
we be together," I felt like whining, but I didn't. It would only make this
harder.
We stood up, avoiding each other's eyes and brushed off our jeans. We
walked silently, covering our tracks because this was our secret. When we
reached the spot on the sidewalk where the street light barely kissed our
faces, we parted, with for me a brief touch on her shoulder, and her a last
run of fingers through my hair.
We parted, the rebel and the schoolgirl, who could never be, and I knew in
my heart that she would never be mine.
The End
take your head around the world
see what you get
from your mind
write your soul down word for word
see who's your friend
who is kind
it's almost like a disease
i know soon you will be
over the lies, you'll be strong
you'll be rich in love and you will carry on
but no- oh no
no you won't be mine
tkae your straight line for a curve
make it stretch, the same old line
try to find if it was worth what you spent
why you're guilty for the way
you're feeling now
it's almost like being free
and i know soon you will be
over the lies you'll be strong
you'll be rish in love and you will carry on
but no- oh no
no you won't be mine
take your self out to the curb
sit and wait
a fool for life
it's almost like a disease
i know soon you will be
no- oh no
no you won't be mine
-You Won't Be Mine
--matchboxtwenty
by Josephine
July 23, 2000
PG
AU fic, UC couple Mi/L, use auras from books but in TV universe, sorta.
I don't own them, alright? Lyrics by matchbox twenty.
You won't be mine
I looked up and there she was, her beautiful dark brown eyes smiling right
into mine. There was no pretense, not here where there was no one around
but ourselves. The soft glow from the street lamp nearby was the only light,
cast overhead to turn normally eerie shadows into dancing reflections of
her.
"Thanks for coming." I said, unable to tear my eyes from hers, her face
drew me in, in a way I had never experianced with anyone else. I had let
her in. She knew every part of my entire being and she loved me in spite
of it- or maybe for it.
I had seen her soul too, and I hadn't been dissapointed. She was as amazing
and graceful on the inside as she seemed from the distance I had kept for so
long. She let me see her, the real her.
In responce to my shy thanks, she placed a hand that hummed with energy on
my cheek, and ran her first two fingers through my hair over my ear. She
prompted me to bring up my own hand and finger her soft, full hair. I
brought it to my nose and drank in the lavender purity of her aura.
"There was something you wanted to tell me?" I froze, pulling back my hand
slightly. Could I go through with it? I didn't know if I could stand
feeling her measure where her loyalties lay- weather or not they lay with me.
"Yes." I decided to stall. "But later. Let's enjoy the beautiful night."
I grasped her hand in my own and broke into a half run, feeling like a child
again, tugging my friend to the sandbox. We were headed into the dark, but
I knew this place well. I could not lose her, now or ever. I would be lost
without her light near me.
"Where are we going?" she gasped, trying to keep up and repress the laughter
that kept escaping and tickling her aura with a quiet sudden flaring of
pink.
"You'll see." I couldn't resist answering, knowing that I was driving her
mad with my inconclusive answers. She had to know, even now I could see
the thoughtfullness in her face, deducing the facts to find an answer.
"Stop thinking." I jerked her arm and flashed her a smile. "I want this to
be a suprize."
She mock frowned in responce, but began to follow without question, almost
pushing me forward to reach our destination.
The only problem was- I didn't exactly know where that was at the moment.
Not the cliff, stargazing was fun, but not tonight. Something that would
leave her breathless and force her to see the truth, not what she had
guessed as the truth.
We were nearing the woods now, I glanced back at her, our auras glowing
with unblocked happiness. We were children, our souls had become young
again. We had seen too much, too much to forget, but for the moment every
hindrance fell away and we were giddy with the joy of youth.
In a flash I had come to a complete halt, flopping down onto the ground.
She came down with me in a whirl of hair and laughs, always finding the
hilarity in what could have been an awkward situation. Suddenly the
laughter that had also come from me slowed to a stop, and we both realized
the obvious. She was on top of me. I licked my dry lips and she manuvered
herself to lay next to me on the pine needle coated ground.
Even her aura blushed.
We lay there breathing and looking up at the stars throught the gap in the
trees overhead. I could sence her beside me, and I knew I had to tell her
and suffer the consequences.
"Liz," I started, and had to swallow. "I-"
"You know you're one of my best friends, Michael?" She knew. She had known
what I was going to say and she couldn't hear it. I was willing to give up
everything for this, for her, for us. And she had shoved it away.
I couldn't answer, if I spoke or even opened my eyes I would shatter.
Shatter, and every broken piece of me would grind into the others until I
just faded away. I felt more than saw her turn towards me, her face moving
close to me, her lips almost brushing my ears. "You do know that, don't
you, Michael?" She was pleading with me, begging me to realize that she
could never bear to hurt Max or Maria for her own happiness.
I winced and brushed my hand over my eyes. I didn't know if I could 'just
be friends'. "Yeah." I managed, full of a gust of a sigh I didn't mean for
her to hear.
When was the last time I had cried? Why did Liz Parker hold this force
over me that I couldn't be without her, I couldn't stand not being able to
kiss her, hold her, and tell her I love her.
The thing was, she loved me back but she would never be mine.
But I would never be anyone else's but her's.
She sat up next to me, and we stared into each other's eyes for an eternity,
her aura shifting to a deep blue and gray. Without warning, she was there,
kissing me full on the lips, pulling me to her with both hands like she
would never let go. Why was she doing this? But I couldn't control my own
hands, pulling her body closer. I was kissing her back.
The kiss only seemed like a few seconds, but must have infact been a while,
because my heart was racing and I was having trouble breathing. "Why can't
we be together," I felt like whining, but I didn't. It would only make this
harder.
We stood up, avoiding each other's eyes and brushed off our jeans. We
walked silently, covering our tracks because this was our secret. When we
reached the spot on the sidewalk where the street light barely kissed our
faces, we parted, with for me a brief touch on her shoulder, and her a last
run of fingers through my hair.
We parted, the rebel and the schoolgirl, who could never be, and I knew in
my heart that she would never be mine.
The End
take your head around the world
see what you get
from your mind
write your soul down word for word
see who's your friend
who is kind
it's almost like a disease
i know soon you will be
over the lies, you'll be strong
you'll be rich in love and you will carry on
but no- oh no
no you won't be mine
tkae your straight line for a curve
make it stretch, the same old line
try to find if it was worth what you spent
why you're guilty for the way
you're feeling now
it's almost like being free
and i know soon you will be
over the lies you'll be strong
you'll be rish in love and you will carry on
but no- oh no
no you won't be mine
take your self out to the curb
sit and wait
a fool for life
it's almost like a disease
i know soon you will be
no- oh no
no you won't be mine
-You Won't Be Mine
--matchboxtwenty