Disclaimer: I do not own the Naruto characters…but this would be one helluva scene in the manga!
The Other Side of Shino
Whilst on his walk back from asking Sakura on a date, only to be turned down and beaten senseless once again, Naruto bumped into Kiba and Shino.
"Hey what's up? He asked, expecting a 'not much, you?' in reply from Kiba.
"Well you see" Shino began" I saw Hinata hanging out with Sai, whom I've heard actually went out with Ino, whose dad is actually psycho and whose hair is actually dyed blonde, who actually kissed Shikamaru and Chouji on the same night after drinking fifteen vodka and cokes, which means she can't hold her alcohol, and because of this Temari from the Sand is really upset, and Gaara is so stupefied by this he has decided to become a monk whilst Kankuro has now become a drag queen, something we all knew was coming. And Neji, who found out about Hinata meeting Sai, is apparently in tears at TenTen's house, who has her lover, Lee, over who apparently hates the colour green since when he was helping out at the Academy, broke all the green colours, which made Iruka mad, and so Iruka quit his job o become a dolphin trainer, teaching dolphin tricks, whilst Kakashi has taken over Sex Ed at school at the Hokage's request, and Anko is looking after the pre-schoolers after developing a phobia of blood and snakes, which apparently attacked her when she was on her date with Gai, who actually has twenty kids running about somewhere, and that's only in Konoha, with some saying that Kurenai's son is not actually Asuma's, but Gai's, but I don't believe that because the kid looks more like Ibiki, who actually went out with Kiba's mum, which is why he has all those scars because apparently she's feisty in bed. Don't turn red Kiba, that's life; it's how you were made. Anyway, it turns out Kabuto is in all actuality gay, which is why he is with Orochimaru, who I've heard is his pimp, and I've also heard that Danzo and Orochimaru used to be lovers, then I heard they were actually brothers as well, which is probably why they are so twisted, both sharing the same genes and stuff. Speaking of genes, did you know that if first cousins have kids, the kids could turn out weird? So that kinda puts an end to the Hinata/Neji relationship that everyone seems to be talking about because honestly, unless the kids turn out to be super-strong Hyuugas, Hiashi ain't gonna keep them as heirs because they will be a blemish to the Hyuugas' perfect family, which is a definite no-no. Oh speaking about families, is it true that you are related to the fifth Hokage Naruto? Because I don't think you are, but a few people are saying it. Actually, thinking about it, these people are also the ones who say that Gai is the sanest and handsomest guy in the world, if you'll excuse my pun. Speaking of Gai, did I tell you he has twenty kids running about Konoha? I did? Well did I also tell you that Kakashi nearly lost his mask the other day when a stray boomerang snagged the edge of his mask, nearly tearing it off? I didn't? Well I did now, and the only reason he was saved from showing his face was the fact that at that exact moment Sakura went running by, screaming at the top of her voice because she saw a picture of Sasuke and Karin together, photo-shopped of course. Someone, now I don't know who but some are saying it was Karin herself, or Sai who just loves making people scream, sent it to her at the hospital when she was working, the very same place which is now getting her medication and room in the mental ward ready for her stay there. Also, I've heard that the Akatsuki are not actually after war. They are killing everyone to bring peace. Kisame is fed up of people killing tuna and stuffing it into tins, and so, to make his point shown, he is doing the same with humans. Konan is just a paper lover and wants to kill those who are stopping people from cutting down trees for paper. That plant dude who everyone forgets the name of is in fact a member of the group "Carnivorous Plants Aren't Evil-We Just Like Eating Living Things", Itachi was just pissed off because when Sasuke was born, he was no longer an only child and had to share the limelight, Sasori was just unloved and wanted to show it, Deidara is actually a woman with permanent PMS and Pein has a couple of screws loose, which happened when he came to the conclusion that since he was God he could fly. Someone forgot to tell him that only Superman can fly. Oh, and Kiba, everyone forgot to tell you that your fly is unzipped…Oh! And-"
"How? What? Which? Why?" Naruto stuttered as Kiba turned red and zipped up his pants, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?! HOW IN ALL THAT'S INSANE DO YOU KNOW ALL THIS?!" Naruto yelled
"Ah, the joys of being a bug user with bugs who can spy, listen, understand and then relay everything back to me" Shino said simply. Naruto looked at him in silence for a few seconds.
"…Is Hinata really going out with Sai?"
"Yes, why? Jealous?"
"NO!"
"My bugs say otherwise. They tell me you have pictures of her all around your house, even under you pillow"
Naruto turned red and fainted.
Surprised? Who knew Shino had so much to say? Or how much he knew? Reviews Welcome!