Well, here's another crack fic. More cracky than Wangzilla. My friend AnimeAru and I wrote this. I honestly don't know what drove us. This was totally based on pasta. NOT KIDDING! This is really messed up. WARNING: Epic stupidity, FrUk, Polish Rainbows, GerIta, and men in skirts. I do not own hetalia or double rainbow.
China was ready to come home for lunch after a day of coping with England and France in the meeting. Later, when he went to get his coat he found the two… we'll leave you to imagine. He hurried and grabbed his coat, then ran before the two could notice him. He doubted they would anyways, they were already preoccupied tongue wrestling. Anyways, he was now traveling home. He entered his home to find the kitchen a mess.
"Aiyaa! What happened to my kitchen aru?!" China screamed. He went to the food cabinet. To his horror, it was now full of vodka. Russia was sitting at the table, drinking. And scattered all around the room were empty bottles, though Russia was not drunk.
"Aiyaa! What are you doing here and where is all my food aru?!" China screamed.
"Oh, there was no food. Absolutely nothing. But dont worry, i always keep vodka with me," he said.
"How much vodka do you have with you aru?! Where the hell do you store it aru?!"
Russia pulled open his coat, about twelve more bottles fell out. China looks away, cursing under his breath.
"No wonder why your coat is so big aru," he said. But China was starving. He sighed.
"What the hell am i supposed to eat, aru?! I AM NOT EATING ANYTHING KOREA GIVES ME EVER AGAIN!"
"Its not my fault you have no food! You should actually go and buy something, da?" Russia said. China sighed. So the two decided to go to the store. Poland is there, wearing a pink miniskirt and a sequined top, he also has a huge pink bow in his hair. poland is dancing to "double rainbow" and lithuania is right next to him, wearing an exact copy of poland's outfit minus the bow, and dancing as well. He looks highly embarrassed. "China! you should like totally buy one of these skirts too, itll show off your ass!" poland says. "i'm not a girl, aru!" China is about to walk away and pretend he didnt see anything when Belarus comes out of nowhere and slaps Lithuania. Then she sees russia. They begin to run when Russia's scarf stops them.
"Where do you think you are going, da?" he said the two quivered in fear. Russia then released his grip on the two. Russia's scarf then had a new target. His scarf stretched halfway across the world to pick up two figures in Europe. He retracted his scarf. England and France were in each end. They were still in heated liplock like when china has left, except now England was bare-chested and France was holding his shirt. "You disgust me, aru..." China says. England and France are blushing. "You guys should all like totally buy my skirts!" Poland says excitedly.
"NO!" They all said in unison.
"I'll wear one if the frog does!" says England. "Well, i guess i can wear it. just to see Angleterre do the same. onhonhon" france laughs. Russia's scarf grabs two more people: Italy and Germany. "Vhat zhe hell is going on?!" Germany shouts. "Veeeeeeeeh" italy says, content. And then Japan and America came in at the worst time ever. Then Poland threw a bunch of rainbow smoke was everywhere. Then, all the men and Belarus were wearing skirts.
"What the hell aru?!" China screamed. "I told you I AM A MAN, aru!?" He adds. "But now your ass looks like totally hot!" Poland replies. "Cue music!" Someone shouts, and then a new song, "Polish Rainbow Party" starts playing. Then they all started singing and dancing under one of japans sky projections of a double rainbow.
The End