Author: MercurialLily
Fandom: Hetalia
Title: Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis
Rating: T?
Pairing: Hints of Lithuania/Poland

This is something I've been working on for a while. Liet's one of my favourite characters, and interestingly enough, I have both Lithuanian and Polish heritage! ^^ Anyway, Happy New Year to all! I send all of you my blessings and hope that each of you has a wonderful 2015.

Also, human names are being used. And it's in first-person Liet.

My room is dark. I don't mind. Darkness is soothing. It's comforting. It's always been there for me. I wouldn't go as far as to say I love it, but I do enjoy it. Darkness can't judge. It can't get mad at me or scold me if I do something wrong.

I'm lying on my bed. It's terribly uncomfortable. But it's nothing. I've been through much worse in my life. I just came from a horrible experience. My back aches as I shift slightly, trying to get more comfortable. I succeed only in causing myself more pain as the rough fabric of my shirt rubs against my back. It hurts too much. Sitting up, I pull off my shirt and toss it somewhere on the floor.

The pain isn't as bad anymore. With a sigh, I slowly lay back down on my side. The next thing I know, I feel hot tears streaming down my cheeks. What... Why am I crying? Am I really as weak as Mr. Braginsky says? Am I...so weak that I don't even deserve to live anymore?

Who would miss me? Eduard and Raivis, maybe. Feliks, probably. Mr. Braginsky would just find another punching bag (most likely Raivis). He says I'm his "favourite". That's because I'm just easy to take advantage of.

After some time, I hear the door open, and I freeze. I try to slow my breathing; maybe whoever it is will think I'm sleeping and won't bother me.

"Toris?" It's Eduard, speaking in a quiet voice. "Are you awake?"

Before I can answer, I hear another voice say, "Toris, it's Feliks. Eduard let me in. I know I probably shouldn't be here, but I wanted to see you. Can we talk?"

"Um..." Slowly I sit up and look over at the door. There are two figures in the doorway: the one standing stiffly is Eduard, the one slouching against the doorframe is Feliks. I sigh. "Sure. Come in."

"Dzięki, Toris." Feliks turns to Eduard. "And thank you for letting me in. I hope you won't get in trouble."

Eduard offers a small smile before he turns to leave. "I'll see you later, Toris," he says as he walks away down the hall.

I feel the bed dip slightly as Feliks sits down beside me. There is an uncomfortable silence for a while. Finally I speak up. "Why are you here, anyway? And how did you get in without Mr. Braginsky finding out?"

"Well, you know, last time we talked you seemed kind of...tense, I guess. More tense than usual. I got worried. I mean, we're close friends, right?" Feliks pauses slightly. "So I decided to come see you. Luckily for me, Eduard answered the door. I told him I wanted to see you, so he brought me here."

"You are lucky. If Mr. Braginsky saw you -"

"Ah, he doesn't scare me," Feliks said. "I'd beat him up with his own pipe!"

I look away. "Don't joke. If he finds out you're here, he could seriously hurt you. At best he'd just forbid us from ever seeing each other again. At worst -"

"Toris." Feliks sighs softly. "You're my best friend. My only friend, actually. I just want you to know I'm here for you. I'll do whatever I can to help you."

"Really?" I ask, turning to look at Feliks. He's staring back at me, looking like he's about to cry. He bites his lip and nods stiffly.

"Really. I'd go through hell to make sure you're okay. That's why I came here tonight. But -" Feliks looks down slightly. "But I guess I was a little late."

"What do you... Oh." My back was facing the door when he got here. He's seen the new lash marks. "That's not your fault," I say quietly.

"It is! I didn't get here fast enough." His voice shakes as he starts to cry. "Przykro mi, Toris. Tak mi pryzkro."

"Don't apologize, Feliks. Please. None of this is your fault." I awkwardly try to hug him in an attempt to comfort him a little. "Please don't cry."

Unfortunately, that doesn't work. He starts crying harder, rests his head on my shoulder, clings to me as if searching for protection. This is a side of Feliks that only I know, the sensitive side, the desperate want for love and support. I rub his back gently, trying to calm him down. He sniffles and says, "You're not mad at me?"

"No. Why would I be mad at you, Feliks?"

"Because..." I can tell he's pondering my question. Then he switches subjects. "Do you like being my friend?"

I'm a bit taken aback by this. "Of course I like being your friend. We've known each other for so long."

"Will we always be friends?"

"Yes, we'll always be friends. I promise."

"Then can I tell you something?" He sits up and looks at me.

I nod. "Go on."

Feliks bites his lip. Then he stares right at me, his eyes piercing my soul. "I'm being completely honest here, Toris. Lubię cię."

I tilt my head. "You like me? I like you too, I guess. I mean, we are friends..."

Feliks shakes his head and adds, "I mean, more than friends. But I know you probably don't feel the same." Slowly he stands and starts towards the door. "I'm sorry."

"Feliks, please don't go. I should be the one who's sorry," I say as I pat the bed. "Come back, please. I don't want to be alone."

"Alone... I forgot, you hate being alone." He turns back to me and smiles slightly. "I hate being alone, too."

"Then will you stay here with me? Please?" I ask.

Feliks nods. "Oczywiście. I'll stay with you as long as you want."

"Ačiū, Feliks." I smile. "Labai ačiū."

A/N: Here is my New Year's gift to you! Is it good? I hope so.

Translations:

Gražus Žiauris Pasaulis - Beautiful Cruel World (Lithuanian)

Dzięki - Thanks (Polish)

Przykro mi, Toris. Tak mi pryzkro - I'm sorry, Toris. I'm so sorry (Polish)

Lubię cię - I like you (Polish)

Oczywiście - Of course (Polish)

Ačiū/Labai ačiū - Thank you/Thank you very much (Lithuanian)

While writing, I was listening to Yōko Hikasa's "Utsukushiki Zankoku Na Sekai", which inspired the title.

Just to let you guys know, I am going in for a heart procedure later this month. I get palpitations several times a day (they're terribly uncomfortable, I must say) and this ablation procedure is supposed to fix it. I'm getting a 14-day holter monitor on the 5th, and after that I'm having the procedure. I'm kind of scared, as this is the first kind of surgical thing I've ever had, but I hope it works.

Also, does anyone want a multi-chapter fic? I was thinking of doing a Hetalia multi-chap, so what are your thoughts?