This is a, seriously long overdue, gift for someone who has been a loyal friend of mine for a few years now; Josh, or Applauze! He is great company, a good listener, and painter and writer as well!

I'm not going to waste any more words, you have waited long enough, Josh! Read away! :D

Here we were, sitting in our patrol car as the end of our shift didn't seem to come any closer. I had trouble keeping a representative look as officers of the law to the people around. Meanwhile, my partner didn't even bother and was sound asleep, with her snoring possibly being able to be heard from the other side of the block. My partner would say that a day without 'action' like this is a wasted day, but quiet days were also part of the the life of being a police officer. Sure your job was boring this way, but I got satisfaction out of the fact that no trouble meant that people abided to the law.

My partner, who went by the name MacArthur, would disagree and think that'd be suspicious instead. She was with that just another way MacArthur was a complete opposite of me. She was crass, impulsive loud and has a totally different perception on enforcing the law than I have. I should absolutely loathe her but despite everything, I never would want another partner than MacArthur! Without her, I'd never learn to not judge situations solely by the book and also look more in real terms while I keep her from going completely cowboy cop. We balance each other out nicely and I cannot imagine I'd have to work with another partner.

Just as I thought the clock was ticking backwards, the radio cracked to life, and that often meant something was up.

''Call to all cars available. There is a allegged 11-45 sighted in the Rexdale area.'' Me and my parter were told through the radio as we sat in our squad car.

''Roger that HQ. Car five is en route.'' I responded.

''What's that?'' MacArthur asked, who always had trouble deciphering the codes.

''Street dealers.'' I answered before I floored it and were on our way.

''Again?''

''Yup.''

''I hate these street criminals. They're a nuisance! On top of that, they completely lack all ambition to make it big!'' Macarthur griped as I quietly rolled my eyes. ''Every time we pick up these pricks, they're sent to jail for two weeks and then go straight back to their business! They just laugh at us!''

''It's not that bad.'' I tried to reason.

''Do you remember that car theft ring we rolled up?'' MacArthur sourly reminded me.

''Yes... of course.'' I admitted, feeling stupid at the memory how that turned out.

''We caught them with their hands in the cookie jar, it became one big sob story and we let them go!''

''I've already apologized for that!'' I interrupted defensively, though I was actually pretty embarrassed.

''And no two months later, almost all of them have had an appointment at the slammer again even though they swore they'd get out of crime if we let them go!'' MacArthur finished her story.

''But at least we managed to put a few back on track, so that's worth something.'' I reasoned.

''I guess.'' MacArthur sighed as she crossed her arms. ''When will these people ever learn, Sanders?''

''I hope someday, Macarthur.'' I responded wearily.

My first name is Melanie. MacArthur knows this, but she still uses calls me by my surname, and I do the same. I don't really understand why though. I think MacArthur is afraid to get too personal... that got us in a awkward situation before.

I didn't take long before we were in the right neighborhood, and it showed. It wasn't the best place to be. I felt tense to drive around a neighborhood with gang presence. It felt like you were constantly under close watch; especially when you were driving around in a cruiser. It never seemed to bother MacArthur, she instead kept a close look on the neighborhood back.

''HQ, we're at location, what did the suspects look like-'' I asked through the radio, but before I could relay my question, MacArthur cut me off.

''Them!'' She perceptively noted, pointing at a few guys loitering about down the street.

''How are you so sure it's them?'' I asked, a little annoyed with her sudden declaration.

''Gang colors, gang looks, and who just slacks off on the street? In this neighborhood? At this time of the day? It's them!'' MacArthur explained.

''MacArthur, once again I cannot comprehend your logic, but I hope for you it's the ones we're looking for.'' I grumbled.

''If I didn't know who we are looking for, I'd have stayed at my dead-end job back at the Bean Counter!'' MacArthur remarked with a confident smile as I pulled up to them. The allegged crooks flinched, but didn't try to escape.

''You stay put, I'll do the talking! Trust me!'' MacArthur assured me.

''That's exactly what I'm having difficulty with right now.'' I sarcastically joked as we got out of the car. I may've sounded rude, but I genuinely trust MacArthur on these cases. The sarcasm was just friendly banter.

''Hey fellas.'' MacArthur greeted them professionally. She began a casual but somewhat hostile conversation as a nervous feeling crept up to me and I reached for the radio through the window.

''HQ, car five here, can I have a description of the suspects of that 11-45 in Rexdale please?'' I requested, just to be sure as MacArthur talked to the suspects.

''Both suspects are alleggedly hispanic, wear oversized red and yellow hoodies and both wear black baggy pants.'' HQ answered shortly after. I took a quick second glance at them, and they matched the description.

Well I be, MacArthur was right again!

''I'll have to search you!'' She then announced after having talked to them for a bit.

''No way!'' One of the suspects replied, calm but clearly and badly annoyed.

''If you nothing to hide then you should have no problems, kid! Now spread those limbs, both of you!'' MacArthur ordered as she beckoned them to the wall. The suspects complied, but very begrudgingly.

''What's this?'' MacArthur asked as she pulled a wad of cash from a pocket as if it was a rabbit.

''That money. Can't we have any money on us without it being suspicious?'' One of them complained.

''It's because we're brown, is it?'' The other added.

''Listen here stoop, I also thought the whole world was against me when I was at the academy, but aside from the true pigs, the only way it'll come true if you believe in it.'' MacArthur lectured them, still stern but now more reasonable as she backed off. ''You're good to go. Scram.''

''Sure thing, officer Dyke!'' One of the suspects spat at MacArthur as they walked off as my heartrate rose.

Those guys shouldn't have called her that; MacArthur is easily angered with insults, and this time was no exception. She was fuming, her fingers were tightly curled into a fist and her face scrunched up.

''What did you call me?'' MacArthur growled as the guys didn't look back. ''Come back here, pricks! In name of the law!'' MacArthur shouted, after which they quickly ran into an apartment building.

''Geez, MacArthur, let it go.'' I tried to calm her down, not in the last place because we weren't exactly safe here to do an arrest all by ourself.

''Let it go? Are you insane? That punk was insulting an officer of the law, a punishable offense!'' MacArthur furiously growled.

''I know, but this isn't a good neighborhood to start anything.'' I tried to calm her down.

''Start anything? They already begun!'' MacArthur roared before she got her handcuffs, and I went on alert.

''MacArthur, no! Keep yourself under control!'' I rebuked her as I got really angry now.''

''But they make a mockery of us and get away with it! They always do! Not anymore!'' MacArthur complained. While I wouldn't tell her she was wrong on that, I had to draw lines here.

''You got to do it yourself then, because I'm not helping you this time!''

''Fine by me!'' MacArthur replied with a confident smirk as she approached the building's front door.

By now, I was completely fed up with her. MacArthur may be a great partner, but that didn't take away that she was stubborn as a mule at times!

''Open up squirts! I know you're in there! Now we can do this the gentle way, or the hard way and you-'' Was all MacArthur said before a loud bang. I flinched before I went wide-eyed with utter horror.

''MacArthur!'' I shouted in shock and panic. MacArthur, my partner, was blown back onto the sidewalk and she had a massive gunshot wound in her abdonem. She had been shot! I ducked down behind the car and cast a quick look at how MacArthur was doing, which was far from good! The massive gunshot wound in her gut and the hole it made in the door probably meant that they used a shotgun, and MacArthur took about the full load! It was sickening to look at her bleeding out, too much in shock to do anything. I almost vomited due to the anxiety, but I had to be brave now, my partner's life was in danger!

I just wanted to rush in and get her out, but despite all the adrenaline fueling me, I still choose to play it a little safe.

''HQ, car five here, shots fired by multiple suspects at Goretzka road in Rexdale! Officer down, I repeat officer down! Request for immediate backup!'' I practically shouted into the radio through the car window.

''Backup on the way, car five.'' HQ responded while I threw the horn back on and unholstered my gun. I took a few deep breaths, and went out of the safety of my cover.

What happened afterwards was perhaps one of the strangest feelings in my life. I was still conscious, but everything seemed to go in slow motion. My head was empty, but my body reacted faster than my mind could comprehend; I shot the assailants firing at me from the windows, and with deadly accuracy too, and had pulled MacArthur back into cover long before I realized it.

However, once my ruse passed, I was confronted with how bad MacArthur's shape was. The shotgun blast had tore her apart, and her pale face barely hung onto consciousness.

''Sanders...'' MacArthur groaned.

''It's alright! It's alright!'' I creaked panicky.

''Pipe down! This is just a flesh wound!'' MacArthur muttered, boastfully but very pained as well.

''I got you out of there and help is on the way!'' I shakily assured her, which still felt pretty easy to do despite my heart beating in my throat.

''You got me out of there? Pretty… neat!'' She weakly complimented me. I snorted, but also stiffled my tears, even when she was bleeding out, MacArthur was tough enough to tell people as it was! Somewhere, I had started preparing for the worst because something sad crept on to me, even as the ambulance came racing into the street.

I saw her being carried into an ambulance, and that was the last I saw of MacArthur… alive. She succumbed to her wounds on her way to the hospital. Losing my partner was worse than I could've imagined. I've never felt so empty. MacArthur always boasted how she'd go out in a blaze of glory fighting thugs, and that'd either impress me or make me laugh, but now that it happened it was no laughing matter at all. I cried over how petty the reason was she got killed, she was only trying to turn in people who insulted a police officer! Until I was told that there was a large scale drug lab in that building. With a cop knocking on the door, that was the only realistic reaction for these guys. I'm happy they turned them all in, and at this point I hope they get long sentences.

They put me off my shifts after the incident and I spent my forced time off crying and but now I was called to the chief. Probably to ask if I could go back on the streets, and I'm okay with that. Maybe I just need to get my head out of everything.

''What's up chief?'' I mumbled as I sat myself in his office.

''Sanders, good you could make it.'' He told me, a little distant.

''Gladly so, my apartment began to feel stuffy.'' I shrugged. I was emotionally numbed by all the crying I did.

''Sanders, forensics has begun investigating and we need some clarification from you to help build the reconstruction of MacArthur's death.'' He stated. I shrugged again, that's normal.

I breathed in deeply and began to explain. ''Right, so we had found possible suspects for the 11-45 and MacArthur had searched them. She found nothing incriminating on them but when she let them go, one of the men insulted her and she went nuts. They fled into an apartment building and MacArthur wanted to storm the place and arrest them for insulting a cop on duty. I tried to talk her out of it because we were in a bad neighborhood, but she was hell-bent to get them, there was no reasoning with her and I let her, hoping that she'd tire out trying to bust that door, but... then she was shot.'' I lengthily answered, finishing on a sad note. I wanted to resume, but I looked at the chief and I could read off his face that I had said something he didn't like.

''Hold on, you let MacArthur go in by herself?'' Chief repeated as a nervous feeling crept on to me.

''But... how was I supposed to know that she was pounding on the door of a drug den?! '' I retorted. I felt like I was being accused of letting my partner die! ''Did we have any reports on that drug den there?! No!'' I angrily continued as I violently shot up.

''That's irrelevant. Letting MacArthur go was a breach of protocol. Never let your partner go in alone!'' He lectured me.

Now I'm certain I was being accused of just letting my partner die! I was expecting to get angry, but instead I felt tears burning in my eyes and I fell back in my seat as I was getting overwhelmed with emotion, but tried to keep my cool, how difficult that was!

''I hate to say this Sanders, but this may end up costing you your career. What you did sounds like a serious lack of loyalty to the police, and to your partner!'' Chief concluded.

Instead of sadness, I now began to feel fury flaring up in me. I may've been responsible for letting my partner die, but I was not going to take being accused being disloyal to either her, or the force I serve! I shot up again and hung over the chief's desk, furiously staring in his eyes. I thought of the chief as reasonable, but after he told me that, I was completely done with him.

''Listen here you sad sack of shit, I've put up with you for all my service at this station and swallowed all the shit I had to take from you, but serving this force is my life's passion, and I'd vow on my grandma's grave that I would never turn my back on it or what it stands for! And MacArthur was the best colleague and friend I could ever have wished for! If you dare to say one more time that I was not loyal to my partner, I will do something that'll put you out of commission for good!'' I furiously swore. grabbing him by his collar before I pushed him back, sending his chair riding into the wall.

''Sanders! Come-'' Was all he said as I left his office and stomped out of the building, realizing I wasn't going to listen. I did not hold back to my boss; it was basically my resignation speech because my time here was done anyway. Perhaps I'll be even arrested.

I hurried to my car and heavily breathed a few times as I sat behind the wheel. However, as I calmed down, I buried my hands in my face again. I could be as angry the chief or anyone else as I was and I could lash out at everyone until the end of time, I couldn't deny that he was right. I was too annoyed to back MacArthur up, and I alone let her go off on her own, and now she's gone. I hadn't realized it or I tried to delude myself into thinking it wasn't my fault before the chief told me.

I let my head fall on the steering wheel out of pure grief. God, the guilt! I don't back up my partner, my friend over something little like such an annoyance. I am a disgrace to the police force! How am I going to live with myself now?

The following days were a blur. I spent almost all my time in my apartment, crying and trying to shut out anything of MacArthur. I didn't attend her funeral, it didn't feel right for me to go as it was me who made it happen in the first place. I threw out all the photos of us because I couldn't stand to look at her picture without being reminded that I ended up letting her die. MacArthur was no more, gone in a moment's notice and you, Melanie Sanders, were to blame for that.

After another long and meaningless day, I decided to go to bed again, hoping I wouldn't be tormented with dread in my dreams. The hours ticked away as I laid in my bed, staring at the ceiling while memories of the good times we had flashed by, all gone. I could still hear MacArthur talk like she was sitting next to me.

''Hey, Sanders.''

I shot up. For a moment, I swear I heard MacArthur's voice for real!

''What's taking you? Over here!''

It came from my living room! I tensed up. How can I hear her voice so clearly as if she's really there? Am I going crazy?! Whether I was or not, I did feel afraid for what I was going to find in the living room, so I reached for my nightstand and got my gun out, and headed out to the living room.

First, I peeked my gun around the corner before my head followed, and what I saw took my breath away and made me drop my gun. Opposite of me, against all laws of nature, sat MacArthur! She was transparent, dressed just like the last time I saw her, but other than that, she looked fine! So much was going through me right now, fear, confusion, dread. Is this real? Is there really a ghost in my apartment? And if there was a ghost, is it really MacArthur?

''Ah Sandy! There you are!'' MacArthur casually greeted me, growing a little concerned when she noticed I didn't respond. ''What's wrong?'' She added while I was sitting down with a pale face. I needed a while to process all this.

''Just- just a minute MacArthur!'' I said after a few moments, finally having overcome the surprise. ''Are you even MacArthur?'' I asked, hopeful, mistrustful, guilty and puzzled all at the same time.

''I'd like to say in the flesh, but uh... he he!'' MacArthur heartily chuckled at her own choice of words. That type of reaction alone put me at ease a little; If I was seeing a real ghost, it was MacArthur!

''I can't believe there's a spirit of my dead friend standing in front of me!'' I mumbled, amazed and terrified.

''If you think I'm something, just wait for the other two dropping by tonight, they're a riot!'' MacArthur pointed out.

''Really?!'' I asked, getting even more terrified.

''Nah, I'm just messing with ya!'' MacArthur casually assured me.

''Just... why are you here?'' I exclaimed, on the verge of tears out of sheer insanity.

''I heard my partner was having a hard time lately so I had to drop by to check in on her!'' MacArthur answered before she closed in. She probably meant well, but I fearfully inched back anyways. ''What's bothering you?''

I hesitated to answer, but sighed sadly soon after. Perhaps talking to the victim in all of this would be good for me. ''What's bothering me? I let you die!'' I answered in a sob. ''We were supposed to have our backs, but I let you down when you wanted to turn that crook in, something we swore to never do on the academy!'' I explained as I began to cry. MacArthur, in a rare moment of genuine care, sat down next to me and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. ''Then, I acted as if I had nothing to do with it and basically denied any blame until the chief pointed it out.'' I continued as I grew more remorseful. ''When he did, I got super pissed with him. Too pissed. So now I'm probably kicked from the force as well. It's just, I don't know how to go on with my life.''

''Look now Sandy, I'm flattered my death traumatized you so much, but even if you weren't supposed to let me go in alone where backing up a fellow officer is standard protocol and also common sense...''

''Not helping, MacArthur.'' I sourly pointed out.

''But at the same time you were right with that we were in a bad neighborhood and that I let my temper get the best of me. You always said my impulsiveness would be the death of me, and shit, you were right like so often!'' She shrugged before she grew increasingly assertive in her tone. ''You may've done something wrong, but so did I. Are you seriously going to beat yourself up over that for the rest of your life? Because if you are, you might as well find a thug yourself to get shot by because life's not worth living like that! Seriously, are you going to give up now just because you made a mistake? Is that what they taught us at school?!''

''Okay... I guess not.'' I agreed, overwhelmed with her demeanor. After a moment, I did begin to feel a little better. ''I guess I'm not so bad a cop after all.'' I mumbled.

''Damn right you are not! You know how to pull everyone in the right direction! Any partner is blessed to have you!'' MacArthur raved, making me cast a small, proud smile.

''They woulf if I was still on. I'll probably be kicked off for good for giving the chief the business!''

''What's done is done. You'll find something out. You always were the smartest of us, by far!'' She said, tough but warm.

''Thanks McArthur, I really needed this!'' I told her, moved, before he shared a short, tight hug.

''One last thing, when you got pissed with the chief, what did you do? Beat him up?'' MacArthur asked, excited for my answer.

''Nah, I said him as it was and threatened him with his health!'' I casually explained.

''Ah... nice!'' She proudly replied, nodding her head appreciatively.

The next thing I knew, I was laying in bed, waking up to a bright day. Immediately, I got out of bed and wondered how I ended up in bed when I had no memory of going to bed last night at all, not after that miracle!

''MacArthur?'' I instinctively called out, hoping she'd respond. When it remained quiet, I stomped into the living room, but found no sign of her, leaving me a little dissapointed as I stared out of the window and began to doubt whether talking to MacArthur's ghost last night actually happened or was just some kind of freaky dream.

Anyway, my soul felt at ease. No matter what happened last night was real, a dream of MacArthur's spirt sending me a blessing or anything like that, I feel like I got the reassureance, the reassurance I needed to move on with my life! I'll never fully forgive myself for what happened, and people will probably call me out for it or use it against me but now I feel like I can deal with it. I can feel that MacArthur forgave me and would've wanted nothing else but see me to continue my duty and take care of a new partner who needed it.

I got my stuff together and went back to the police station to apologize to the chief, I had work to do!

Well Applauze, that's it! Your gift! It's long overdue and it may not be what you wanted it to be, but I hope you had a great birthday nonetheless regardless of what I gave you!

:D,

L.W.