"I'm going to bed, Mihoshi," said Tenchi Masaki, an ordinary Japanese boy who discovered the hard way that he is related to the royal family of Jurai, perhaps the most powerful and influential family in the universe. He stretched as he got up from the couch.
"Oh come on, Tenchi," pleaded Mihoshi Kuramitsu, a bronzeskinned blonde woman with large blue eyes and pointed ears. "You said you'd watch the Star Trek marathon with me."
"It's a twenty-four hour marathon, Mihoshi," he protested. "When I said that I'd watch the marathon with you, I didn't mean all twenty-four hours," he chided. "I'm getting some sleep. I've got a full day tomorrow and I suggest that you do the same, okay?"
"Okay, Tenchi," smiled the cheerful Galaxy Police officer. "I'll turn in when this episode is over. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," Tenchi smiled as the turned out the light. The living room was illuminated only by the television set as he ascended the stairs. "Don't stay up too late, now!"
Mihoshi waved sleepily back as the boy vanished upstairs. She turned her bleary vision back to the television set and gave the TV what was left of her languid attention. On the screen was a space ship that looked like a disk with two cylinders attached by stalks. Mihoshi giggled. The ship didn't look very sturdy. Heroic music swelled as the ship sped up to the camera and glowing words contrasted against the blackness of space.
Star Trek: Pioneer
Starring Tenchi Masaki as Captain James Jean-Luc Tenchi
Washu Hakubi as Science Officer Washu
Ayeka Masaki Jurai as Lt. Commander Lydia Ayeka
Sasami Masaki Jurai as Midshipman Sherry Lynn Sasami
Mihoshi Kuramitsu as Lt. Barbie Mihoshi
Kiyone Makibi as Tactical Officer Cassandra Kiyone
Katsuhito Masaki as Doctor Katsuhito Yosho
Ryo-oh-ki as Ensign Whiskers
Special Guest Star Ryoko Hakubi as the Space Pirate Ryoko
Tenchi Muyo and all related characters are © AIC/Pioneer. Star Trek and all related material are © Paramount Studios. This story has been written solely for entertainment. The views expressed herein do not necessarily express the opinions of AIC/Pioneer, the author, or this website.
Based on "Star Trek" created by Gene Roddenberry
And "Tenchi Muyo" created by Masaki Kajishima
The starship drifted peacefully through space as the awkward voice of Matt K. Miller (or for those of you in Japan, Masami Kikuchi) was heard. "Captain's log, stardate 2007.9, Captain James Jean-Luc Tenchi, commanding officer of the NCC-1992 USS Pioneer, reporting. We are patrolling along the edge of neutral territory. Our mission: To look for Romulans, doomsday machines, any darn trouble we can get into." As the ship sailed through the emptyness of space, glowing words appeared in the darkness:
Tenchi Trek
By Galaxy1001D
On the bridge of the USS Pioneer, a female humaniod whose skin was covered with brown fur wore the short skirted uniform of a communications officer. Her mane of hair had a blueish gray streak in it and a red gem was in the widows' peak on her forehead. "Meow!" said the communications officer. "Meow! Meow! Meow!"
Lt. Commander Ayeka, the first officer, leaned over to Lt. Kiyone, the chief tactical officer and murmured. "Whose idea was it for Ryo-oh-ki in her adult humaniod form to play the officer in charge of communications?"
"Give me a break," Kiyone retorted quietly. "It was the only position on the ship where she wouldn't have to stand up. You know she's still wobbly on two legs."
At waist level blue words appeared.
Haruna as Ensign Camille Haruna
"W-what was that?" choked Ayeka.
"The guest stars," Kiyone whispered to the first officer. "You know that in the beginning of these Star Trek episodes the names of the guest stars scroll by at the bottom of the screen."
"Haruna? The girl who kidnapped Tenchi in the third Tenchi Muyo movie? She's a guest star?" asked the purple-haired commander.
"She's more of a semiregular," shrugged Kiyone. Haruna's name vanished to be replaced by another name.
Sakuya Kumashiro as Petty Officer Suzanne Sakuya
"Well, it's darn distracting," Ayeka muttered testily.
"Try to ignore it," offered the blue eyed tactical officer.
"All right," the prim and proper first officer sighed.
In the meantime the feline communications officer was still trying to get Ayeka's attention. "Meow!" cried Ryo-oh-ki. "Meow! Meow! Meow!" She pointed at the flashing red light at her comm panel.
Ayeka was still distracted by the words that had now moved to the floor between the captain's chair and the communications console. This time the words said.
Nobuyuki Masaki
"What is it?" Lt. Mihoshi asked from the helm controls. "Charades? I love this game!" The blonde helmswoman gave a cheerful grin.
The furry communications officer sighed and took a determined breath. She then started gestureing.
"Okay," giggled Mihoshi. "Two words. Sounds like…"
Ryo-oh-ki fell out of her chair and onto the floor. The name at the bottom of the screen nearly obscured her from veiw.
Mr. Suvok as Master Chief Suvok
Ensign Whiskers flailed her arms around in an attempt to banish the words that obscured her charades performance from the bridge.
"Let's see," Mihoshi put a finger on her bottom lip as she studied the feline female's movements. "Sounds like, 'convulsing?' 'Thrashing?' 'Fit?'"
Ryo-oh-ki shook her head furiously since that was not the meaning of her message at all.
"Oh!" squeaked the bronze skinned blonde. "I'm sorry. Sounds like…"
Ryo-oh-ki flopped on the floor and laid still with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.
"Sleep?" Mihoshi guessed. "Tired? Dead?"
The fluffy communications officer sprang to life and put a finger on her nose while pointing at the ditzy helm officer.
At the bottom of the screen another name appeared.
Tsunami
"Sounds like 'dead', got it!" Mihoshi grinned proudly.
"Leiutenant Mihoshi, Ensign Whiskers, what are you two doing?" Ayeka snapped irritably.
"Why me?" Kiyone sighed from the weapons console.
"Oh, commander!" Mihoshi turned to the officer seated in the command chair while Ryo-oh-ki struggled to get back in her own chair. "E-ensign Whiskers wishes to report something!"
"Well, what is it?" Ayeka snapped testily. "I haven't got all day!"
"Meow! Meow! Meow!" futilely said the communications officer.
The first officer's face nearly became as purple as her hair. "Errg!" she groaned. "Get me a communications officer who's fluent in basic Star Fleet Galactic English right now!"
"Grrr phttt!" hissed Ryo-oh-ki, baring her fangs.
"Don't give me any of that, ensign, or I'll put you down for insubordination!" Ayeka snapped.
"Ohh," groaned a mortified Kiyone. She glanced down at her weapons panel. It would be so easy to launch a photon torpedo without opening the gunnery hatch in the outer hull. The explosion would probably kill everyone on the top decks instantly and all of her problems would cease…
At that moment, the turbolift doors at the back of the bridge opened and in stepped Captain James Jean-Luc Tenchi, the commanding officer of the USS Pioneer. Although the captain looked more like a young cadet that a seasoned Star Fleet officer none on the bridge was fooled by his naïve and innocent façade. Accompanying him was Science Officer Washu, thought of by many to be the greatest scientist in Star Fleet.
"Captain on the bridge," Ayeka stood up from the command chair and snapped to attention. The other officers on the bridge stood up at their consoles too.
Ensign Whiskers was stuggling mightily as her knees wobbled beneath her. She meowed pitifully as she fell to her knees and clutched her comm panel for dear life.
"Oh, let me help you," Mihoshi left her console to assist Ryo-oh-ki's valiant struggle to stand at attention.
"Mihoshi," Kiyone hissed from the tactical console. "What are you doing?"
"There you go, Ensign Whiskers," Mihoshi smiled as he held on to the furry woman's arms and shoulders. "Are you okay?"
"Meow," Ryo-oh-ki nodded.
"Mihoshi," Kiyone growled. "Get back to your post! What are you doing?"
"Hey, its okay," said Captain Tenchi. "She's just helping out a shipmate, that's all."
"But Captain," insisted Kiyone. "If Leiutenant Mihoshi is at Ensign Whiskers' station, then who's steering the ship?"
Everyone on the bridge cried out as the floor lurched underneath them. Outside in the blackness of space the starship sideswiped a large boulder like object.
"Damage report!" said the captain as he picked himself off the floor. "Is everyone all right?"
A chorus of female voices answered at once. "I'm good." "I'm okaaay!" "I am unhurt, Captain." "Meow!"
"Captain," said Ayeka slyly. "Ensign Whiskers seems unable to stand on her own. Maybe she better go to sick bay and have the doctors take a look at her?"
Tenchi glanced over at communications. While everyone else had managed to stand up and dust themselves off, Ensign Whiskers was climbing up her communciations console as if she was unused to standing on two feet.
"Hmm, I think you're right, Ayeka," Tenchi nodded. "Ensign Whiskers, you are releived from duty. Go check into sick bay, that's an order."
"Meow!" A stricken Ryo-oh-ki clutched the communications console and shook her head fiercely. "Meow! Meow! Meow!"
"Now Ensign Whiskers, its for your own good," Tenchi insisted.
"Listen to the Captain, Ensign," smirked Ayeka. "Go down to sick bay. You may return to the bridge when you are fit for duty."
Whiskers hissed spitefully at the first officer.
"Now come on Whiskers, we're worried about you," Tenchi insisted. "We all want what's best, don't we?"
"C'mon, Skipper," Mihoshi pleaded. "Give her another chance! She'll be all right, really she will."
Tenchi put his arms abound the communications officer's waist and pulled in a futile effort to extract her from the console. Ryo-oh-ki's fingernails were as sharp and as durable as a lion's claws and were sunk into the console. The feline female cried piteously as the captain struggled to remove her from the bridge.
"Come-ON!" he grunted. "It's not so bad to go to sick bay! The're not going to hurt you or anything!"
"Meow! Meow! Meow!" cried the communications officer, shaking her head violently. No matter how hard Tenchi pulled, the fluffy ensign refused to budge. Her back stretched an extra foot as he tugged on her legs but when he let go, she snapped back to normal and sat back in her chair.
"Oh all right," Tenchi sighed in defeat. "You can stay for a little while."
"Ahem," Science Officer Washu cleared her throat. "What's that light blinking on the communications console, Captain Tenchi?"
"What?" the befuddled Captain blinked. "It's a distress signal! Whiskers, put it on the screen.
"Meow!" said the communications officer, glad that finally someone understood what she was trying to say.
On the main viewscreen was the stars of the night sky. At the push of a button, the stars vanished to and the face of a rather harried individual on a starship bridge replaced it. The man was almost forty, with broad shoulders and a pencil thin mustache. The eyeglasses he wore revealed his allergy to Retanix Five, a medication that cured most vision impairments. "This is Captain Nobuyuki of the S.S. Brandy," he shouted. "We have been attacked by the space pirate Ryoko and request immediate assistance!"
"Uh!" croaked Ayeka.
"Oh!" gasped Mihoshi.
"Ooh!" exclaimed Kiyone.
"Meow?" asked a confused Ensign Whiskers.
"Hmm," Science Officer Washu crossed her arms and stroked her chin thoughtfully.
"Whiskers, open a channel," ordered Captain Tenchi. "This is Captain Tenchi of the USS Pioneer responding to your distress call Captain Nobuyuki! Hang in there! We're on our way!" He turned to Lt. Mihoshi. "Mihoshi, plot an intercept course with the source of the distress signal and then accelerate to maximum warp!"
"Aye, aye, Captain," Mihoshi nodded. "Signal locked on, course plotted out, we can reach it in a half hour at warp nine, sir."
"Okay then," Tenchi nodded. "Warp nine, engage the warp drive."
The Pioneer sped away and vanished in a fury of expensive digital effects.
Next: Shuttlecraft Okuda