Disclaimer – I don't own the Sonic characters.
What's Love Got To Do With It?
One Sunday afternoon, Sonic sat on his thinking rock, thinking about Amy. He thought about her until the emotion in his heart grew so large that he had no choice but to let it out in one loud scream. "I hate Amy!"
Not four yards away, a Sonamy fan reclined against a tree. She, needless to say, was greatly disturbed by Sonic's declaration. She went over to help him see the light. "You don't hate Amy," she told him. "You love her."
Sonic thought about this. He sat on his rock, tapped his head, and thought. "You know, I think you're right." His hand fell to his side, and he looked up with amazement at the Sonamy fan. "I don't hate Amy. I love her."
Not three yards away, a Sonadow fan reclined next to a large bush. He, needless to say, was greatly disturbed by Sonic's declaration. Rushing to the hedgehog's side, he slapped the Sonamy fan and then attempted to set Sonic straight. "Listen, man. You don't love Amy. You don't have to hate her, but you don't love her."
Puzzled, Sonic resumed tapping his head. "I don't love Amy?"
"No. There's only room in your heart for one animal."
Sonic curiously asked, "Who?"
The Sonadow fan smiled and whispered in the hedgehog's ear, "Shadow."
Sonic stopped tapping his head. "Ah." His hand fell to his side. He smiled from enlightenment. "I love Shadow."
Not six feet away, a Rouge/Sonic fan reclined behind a boulder. She, needless to say, was greatly disturbed by Sonic's declaration. Quickly, she kicked the Sonadow fan in the shin and slapped the recovering Sonamy fan. She then helped Sonic understand the truth. "You don't love Shadow."
Sonic tapped his head and thought. "I don't love Shadow?"
"No. You don't love anybody whose angsty. You're full of life, and such a person would only suck that life out of you until not a drop was left."
Sonic shuddered. "Not a drop?"
"Not a drop. Now listen. The one you really love is Rouge."
"Rouge?"
"Yep. She's the only animal who is mature enough to handle you."
This epiphany caused Sonic's hand to fall to his side and his eyes to open wide. "Oh! I love Rouge."
Not one foot away, Princess Elise reclined against the rock Sonic sat on. She stood and pushed all the fans into a large puddle. "You don't love Rouge," she told Sonic; determined to set things right. Sonic stared up at her, waiting for an explanation. Elise gave him one. "You don't love her, because you love me!"
A quiet fell upon the group then, one that crickets felt the need to break. Suddenly, the fans and Sonic burst out laughing. "Silly Elise," they said in unison, "Sonic's love is for animals."