Disclaimer: I don't own Angel or House or Doctor Who. All I own is Leigh, (later chapters) and Syana (all chapters) and the plot. Which will take a while to take effect, by the way. So, I apologise in advance. Also, this is an M fic, so if anyone breaks the rules, you can't blame me and send me emails saying "My little baby read your story and was swearing and making crude sexual references for days afterwards." because, for one thing, there is barely any swearing, subtle innuendo, which is so subtle I can't even tell it's there sometimes. It has slash, so don't blame me if your kids are mentally scarred afterwards.

Summary: Spike and Syana are taken into a New Jersey hospital after being knocked out during a battle with a demon. Their doctor is a grumpy, crippled man and his three fellowship workers. How will things pan out?

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Chapter One: Two Dead People Wandering Around the Hospital...Not Suspicious in the slightest, is it?

AKA - Not Suspicious

House looked up as the door to the exam room opened, flicking the "Start" button on his Nintendo DS™, irritation starting in on his features as he glared at the intruder. "Any reason you've decided to interrupt me during clinic duty?" he asked rudely, raising an eyebrow slightly. Cameron rolled her eyes.

"Like you ever actually do anything during clinic duty." She muttered in retaliation, scowling slightly at her boss before glancing down at the file in her grip and flicking it open. "Two people brought in by a stranger, one mid-to-late twenties, the other early-to-mid twenties. No heartbeat when checked out by the On-Call Doctor."

"So it's a DoA, why bother bringing it to me?" House asked, leaning forwards in the chair, his interest obviously piqued.

"The problem is, right after they were pronounced dead, they both woke up and started demanding to use the telephone."

"So you expect me to believe that two dead guys are wandering around the hospital, looking for a 'phone?"

"No. I expect you to believe that one dead guy is wandering around asking for a phone." Cameron paused and smirked, at House's confused stare. "One's a guy, the other's a woman. Both English, neither have explained why they've moved and, as far as we can tell, they're not here legally. Oh, and apparently, they've been living in L.A."

"So, why are they in New Jersey?"

"I don't know. Apparently it's some business venture thing. But, you see, when they were pronounced and got up, the On-Call Doctor started trying to check their heartbeats again. The man, presumably named 'William', according to the woman, freaked out and started asking for some peaches. The woman, whom William called 'Sigh', apparently just laughed and let the Doctor's double-check her heartbeat." She paused again, frowning at the chart. "House, she still had no heartbeat."

"None?"

"Nothing, nada, nyet. They had the shit beaten out of them, but they're out there--" Cameron broke off and half-turned towards the door as it banged open, revealing a fairly tall, respectable looking man with glasses and dark hair; a bald, black male wearing a smart suit, making him look like a lawyer; a tall, pale man with broad shoulders and defined muscles, his hair dark and spiked up with gel; and a white female with long, chest-length, curled brown hair.

"Doctor House?" the bespectacled man asked, his accent clearly British. "We were told to come to you. We're looking for two new patients of yours. British. A platinum blonde man and a messy-haired brunette?" he ventured further, obviously disheartened by House's blank look when his face animated and he turned, glaring at Cameron.

"You took the case for me without asking? What made you think that I would even remotely agree to the case?" he demanded, scowling at his employee.

"The fact that two clinically dead patients, that still have no heartbeats, are wandering around the hospital." The female Doctor replied with an off-hand shrug.

"Dead? They aren't dead. Look, it's imperative that you release Spike and Syana into our custody immediately." The English man demanded, sending a sideways glance towards the pale man, who was staring out of the blinds into the clinic, causing the rest of the room to turn to him. As if sensing the room's gaze, he turned to face them.

"Spike and Syana are good…erm…" he struggled and turned to the curly haired female for her assistance.

"Friends." She told him sharply, now sharing his frown.

"Peaches! Wot a nice surprise." A new, cocky, English accent joined the group and Cameron turned to the door again, staring at the newest members of the group. The blonde male's arm was slung possessively yet casually around the smaller brunette, her face showing her obvious amusement, the blonde directing a broad grin at the brooding gentleman.

"Spike…" he growled, glaring at the smaller man.

"Aw, Angelus, pet, let Spike 'ave his fun 'ere and then, back at the office, you can 'ave your fun." The woman said. The one named Angelus scowled but nodded curtly.

"What does she mean 'fun'?" the black man demanded suspiciously, eyeing the two newcomers warily. The girl grinned brightly at him, sending him a casual wink.

"Leave it, Gunn." Angelus muttered darkly.

"But she's always--"

"Fred, just leave it. Please? You know Sy makes stuff up." The curly haired female; now identified as "Fred" pouted but nodded once. House looked at the newest arrivals for a moment, his eyes flicking between them and Cameron.

"I thought you said they'd had the shit beaten out of them." He said accusingly, frowning.

"That's what the file said! They came in, unconscious and covered in cuts, bruises, blood and dirt!" she defended herself, staring blankly at the newest couple.

"Oh, Sire, I think she likes you." The messy-haired female cooed, smirking.

"Syana. What did I tell you about pulling a Dru?"

"Oh, fine. Spoil sport. Bloody, hell, Angel. Why've you gotta be such a drag?" Angel rolled his eyes but ignored the question, instead turning to House.

"Can they go?"

"When they mysteriously healed themselves? I don't think so." The as-yet-unnamed Brit exploded at this.

"Oh, for pity's sake, you have no right to hold them here when they are quite obviously alright!" he shouted at House, glaring at the two Doctor's, the effect ruined when he jumps as "Fred" rests a hand on his arm, the black man identified as "Gunn" barely concealing a scowl at the touch.

"Wes, calm down. Shouting's not going to solve this mess."

"No, but this might." Syana started forwards when the platinum blonde yanked her backwards, keeping her from attacking the two doctors.

"Sire? What the hell does that mean?" Chase queried, squeezing through the door of the examination room, causing House to let out a frustrated growl.

"Right, everyone get out. Into the conference room." He ordered, shooing everyone with a wave of his cane.

"Oi! 'O does 'e think 'e is?" Spike grumbled to Angel, the closeness between the two men that had previously radiated hate towards each other didn't escape House's notice.

"He's your doctor, Spike. Since you where stupid enough to get driven to hospital. By a stranger, as well. Do you know how long it took to find you?"

"I was unconscious! With the whole not being conscious thing! Anyway, wouldn't 'ave 'appened if Sy 'adn't tried to go after that Gravlok on 'er own." The blonde protested, pouting. All of a sudden, Syana, who had been striding along besides House, let out a snarl of frustration, glaring at the couple just ahead of them.

"Hey, mate, keep those noises for the bedroom. Not all childer want to hear granddaddy growl and flirt with Sire." She scowled deeply, poking the tall, brooding man in the back. "Now, c'mon Cap'n For'ead, speed up 'nd stop growlin'."

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House pulled out a chair and slumped into it, dropping his cane beside it. "Before anyone starts trying to explain the situation, can someone tell me who the hell you people are?"

The Brit called 'Wes' cleared his throat. "I apologise. I forgot you weren't familiar with us. Not really used to being outside of California."

"You people are from California?" Foreman asked incredulously, staring at the Spike, Angel and Syana, all three's skin practically paper-white. Sy scowled.

"No. Me, Spike 'nd Specs are fr'm Englan'. Tall-Dark-'nd-Soulful's a Mick, Curly's fr'm Texas 'nd Lorne…" she stopped and glanced around. "Isn' 'ere." 'Wes' rolled his eyes again.

"As I was saying, I am Wesley Wyndam-Pryce," House raised his eyebrows at the strange name, obviously amused but opting to keep quiet, "the female next to me is Winnifred Burkle--"

"Fred." She corrected with a smile.

"Yes, quite. Fred Burkle. The pale, brooding--"

"Hey!"

"Well, you do. Now if you've all quite finished interrupting me, I'll continue. The pale, brooding man--"

"With a huge for'ead."

"SPIKE!" both Angel and Wesley roared at the blonde, who merely looked away into the hall, his face a picture of innocence.

"As I was saying," Wesley paused to glare again at Spike, who chuckled, "the pale man is Angel. The incredibly annoying, blonde, Englishman is Spike, or William, but only William if you don't like your head to be in the vicinity of your neck. The brunette in his lap is Syana. Be bloody careful, she's more than capable of basic seduction," here Spike muttered something that sounded like 'Bloody Time Agents'. House suddenly noticed that all of the guests, minus the female in question, whom was sporting an amused smirk, had flushed and were looking decidedly uncomfortable.

"Aw, Wes, you flatter me so." She drawled teasingly, the comment directed at the bespectacled Englishman but her eyes were fixed on House. When she realised that she'd been caught looking, her grin merely widened and she sent him a wink, turning her head away.

"Anyway, last but not least, is Charles Gunn, more commonly referred to as simply 'Gunn'." Wesley finally completed, his eyes checking to make sure that he had not forgotten to mention anyone.

Cameron surveyed the group before sharing an incredulous glance with Chase and Foreman, certain that all three of the doctors were thinking the same though. 'This is gonna be a long day.'

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END CHAPTER ONE

(A/N) Obviously, it's a House/Angel xover. There will be an eventual crossover with Doctor Who, of course, lol. Sorry for having the AI team talking more than House, but I figure they'd be sorting out all the Discharging and Escape of Spike and Sy, who is, obviously, my own creation. She's more commonly used in RPG where she's still Spike's childe but has more of a link with DW than BtVS. Anyway; this is Series 5 Angel, just after 'Smile Time'

(Spike: [barges into Angel's office. Hello, big guy! Need another car. Afraid this last one ended up in the drink... [stops in mid-thought when he sees puppet Angel sitting at the desk.

Puppet Angel: [anxiously. Spike...

Spike: [staring. Look at you.

Puppet Angel: [gesturing with his hands. Just turn around and walk away.

Spike: [still staring. You're a—

Puppet Angel: Spike!

Spike: [starts laughing uncontrollably. You're a bloody puppet!) before Illyria and there is NO Connor or Cordy. Sorry, but I really don't like them.. Series Three House, just after 'Finding Judas'. This is a Spangel fic, eventually there'll be DoctorJack, MasterOC. Please R&R and I'll update ASAP.