"You're taking the TARDIS to North Korea to settle a bar bet!" Alice yelled at me as we entered the TARDIS. It was our first time in the TARDIS, neither of us were interested in its size.

"Yeah why not" I yelled back as I pulled some random lever on the console. "Trust me, I'm the doctor"

"James! You stole the TARDIS, and put on eccentric clothing, even your own girlfriend won't travel with you" Alice yelled back, telling the truth.

"Well, Nicole is a home body. And I'm the doctor" I replied. That's not quite accurate, I ran into the doctor, literally, and ended up with some of his memories. Then, when he was arrested after a NYPD stop and frisk, I took the TARDIS. So what better way to use it than to go settle at argument I had had about North Korean nuclear weapons. Anyways,

"Bonziiii" I said as I pulled a switch and nothing happened.

"I think you done it wrong" Alice replied taking a seat

"Ummmm, ok" I looked around the control counsel, everything looked right, all the lights were green.

"Soooooooo" she responded as she took a seat

"Oh the E brake" and at that I released a lever and we shot through space, and we had to grab the hand rails

"You idiot who told you how to drive this thing"

"No one, I'm kind of guessing" I admitted

"What" she yelled " why did i get in this box with you"

"YOLO" I yelled

"I have standards" she squeaked

( A Few Terrifying Moments Latter)

I slowly opened the door and looked around quickly. Looked like an underground bunker, and the writing on the walls looked like it was Korean. "Bingo" I whispered

"What?" Alice practically yelled back at me

"Quite, there might be guards nearby" I hushed her with

"Wait you actually flew us to North Korea" she squeaked as she stood with me and looked out

"Fly is not the right word" if pulled out the sonic screw driver I had taken too, and it began making a weird popping sound and flashed read in one direction " it's more materialize, don't you remember people debating this non stop in the extraterrestrial club"

"Yeah the club where you taught us how to cheat at blackjack" we began following the red lights on the screwdriver, "speaking of witch why did you not invite other club members"

"A, card counting is not cheating, B, Because they went home and I got a bet to settle" I replied hanging a left

"Why did I come with you" she asked again

"Because you love a tough man in uniform" I said as we were surrounded by Kalashnikov wielding North Koreans.

"I have standards"

(A Long March Latter)

"Try to steal eah nuckks" a North Korean officer asked

"Actually I just wanted to see if you could put them on a missiles but now that you mention it" i retorted.

"American spy good Korean" he responded

"Actually I'm just a tourist" i replied

"SILENCE! " the officer screamed at me " you think we just let you steal nuke"

"Well I was hoping for a tour and a look at them" I replied

"Oh we have funny man" the officer yelled to his four goons then he punched me in the face

"Dam, at least by me dinner before you get kinkey with me" I replied

"Soon you will meet Glorious Jim Jong Un" the officer left and stormed out, all but one of his goons following him

"We are prisoners of the North Koreans" Alice squeaked

"Danger zone" I yell as loud as possible.

(Long Awkward Pause)

A few minutes later I leaned next to Alice and whispered " flirt with the guard it might be our chance to escape"

"No, I have standards" she yelled back.

"The Doctor" Kim Jong un walked into the room.

"Hey Kim, how does it feel to be the one fat kid in an entire country" I replied

"This new version of you is quite rude, and young, they're going to have teenagers playing you before long" Kim replied

"Oh shit" I said

"That's right, you're in Masters Playhouse now" he said

"That sounds so wrong," I replied, "you really should have put no homo at the end of that"