1.1 Cinderella: On Jerry Springer
Hello again my wonderful follow…I mean audience. I see that we are anxious to read upon how Cinderella's life went on after she got married right? Well do you want the fairy tale version or the dirt version? Dirt version? Ok well here it goes…
Once upon a time…ok I'll cut the crap and save you the boring stuff ok? See this is how it went down. Remember how Cinderella and her prince charming went off after they got married? Well it didn't turn out so "Happily Ever After" as we thought. After a few months or so after they got married, Prince Charming, whose real name is "Ben Gay" but loves to be called Prince Charming (as I can see why with a name like that ^-^), wanted to get a divorce…
"Now why the hell do you want a divorce you prick!" exclaimed Cindy a.k.a Cinderella, with the divorce papers in her hands.
"Because, you no longer satisfy me," says Ben. "I mean come on, you have gotten ugly in the past months. Your fat, a slob, and don't pamper me anymore!" he whines into her face.
"Well you know what? I don't like you any more and I thought you married me because you loved me for what's on the inside and not the out!" she screeches into his face.
"B**** please, I am a prince! I get whatever I want and you were the most fairest desire in the land, besides I don't want to see anyone more beautiful than me out on the streets."
"Well guess what you dumb piece of toilet sh*t! I'll be seeing you on Jerry!" explains the p.oed girl. Just then, Ben notices the people around him were recording him with cameras and had the 'Jerry Springer' logo on their shirts.
'Oh shit,' thought the prince as he was fixing his hair. 'I wonder if they caught my on my left side cause it's the best side…'
For the next few days Ben and Cindy have been completely ignoring each other before the show, hoping to save all of the drama for National Television. As they reach Los Angeles and get to the hotel, they are greeted by the staff and told of their locations and things to do for in preparation for next week's show. Cinderella saw Jerry out of the corner of her eyes and sauntered over to him and get better… "acquainted" with him. Ok let's skip this part because they do things that even I don't want to talk about.
At the Studio
"Ok people… places everyone!!" exclaimed the gay director of the TV show.
Weird announcer dude says his lines, "Welcome… to Jerry Springer, where as today we will reveal sex scandals and prostitutes…" the announcer looks at his script and tears is up. "And now… herrrrrrrre's Jerry!!!"
"Well hello people and welcome to Jerry Springer today. We are here to talk about how people are committing sex scandals and their prostitution…" says Jerry. As the show is going on Cindy and Ben are watching as the guests appear on a small TV in the back room.
"As for our next guest, I'm sure that you have heard of them before, lets give it up for Cinderella and her Prince Charming," says Jerry reading off the cue cards.
"Well tell us the problem Cindy," says Jerry.
Cindy winks at Jerry. "Well Jerry… as you can see, I hate this man sitting next to me, and well I agree with him in getting a divorce."
"Well, ok Cindy, but why are you here if you just wanted a divorce?" asks Jerry.
"See the thing is, I found this earring in the bed…and I know as hell that it ain't mine so I want to know who the hell he is sleeping with behind my back," says Cindy (Oohs and the chanting of Jerry are heard in the audience).
Prince looks kind of pale and says, "Umm dear, where did you find that?"
Cindy states sarcastically, "Why on the bed, DEAR."
"Well do you want to know whom the earring belongs to Cindy?" asks Jerry and sees that she is nodding her head. "Well come on out and meet Sharon Peters, Cindy's stepsister!" exclaims Jerry.
"Oh **** no!!!" exclaims Cindy as she tries to attack Sharon but is held back by Steve (hears the audience chanting Steve now).
Jerry waits for all of the commotion to pass by and asks Sharon, "Now why are you sleeping with your sister's husband?"
Sharon, with her weave hair and a gold tooth in her mouth states, "Well Jerry, I can't blame him for not wanting me," stands up and struts around in a white cat suit, "because who can resist this sweet thang right here?"
Jerry coughs and clears his throat muttering something incoherent. "Well this IS your sister's husband, why are you doing such a thing?"
"Let me tell you something Jerry, Ben has been the man that I have wanted in all of my life, I mean look at him! Smart, sweet and caring… who doesn't want him, besides there getting a divorce so why should she care?"
"Well seeing as how Ben called the divorce…"
"WHAT!!!" bursts out Sharon. "You told me that she called the divorce!!! That's why I slept with you in the first place!"
"He what!!" belts out Cindy who was having a small conversation with Jerry. "You planned all of this!!!"
Ben stammers out, "This isn't how I planned things to work out… I didn't expect her to bring us on Jerry you know!"
"Well the cat is out of the bag sweetie and guess what," Cindy says calmly.
"What toots," he says.
"I'm pregnant," she states and waits to see Ben's reaction to this, not noticing Jerry's disappointed frown.
"Your what!" he stutters out, "How can you be pregnant and we didn't even do the booty yet!"
"Well duh idiot, the baby isn't yours," states Cindy.
"Who's the baby's daddy Cindy?" asks Jerry looking a bit too anxious.
"Why Jerry baby, it's yours," says Cindy smiling at him (hears the audience gasps). "Remember that night on the town and how drunk we were? That's when it happened."
"Cindy baby!!!" exclaims Jerry as he runs up to the stage and hugs her tightly (audience cheers for the happy couple).
"Now wait a dawg gone minute!! I'm pregnant too! How come no one's cheering for me!" Sharon exclaims profusely trying to call attention to her- self.
"Your what! I thought you said that you were on the pill!" states Ben.
"Well, I forgot to take it that day," says Sharon talking to Ben in the corner so that no one can hear them but in actuality no one is paying attention to them any more.
"Well people, it seems that we have had an unnatural turn of events here, because as you all know, I'm about to be a father! Oh and Cindy before I say the final thought I have a question to ask of you."
"What's that Jerry baby?" coos Cindy while she runs her fingers through his hair.
The audience and others watch as Jerry drop down on one knee and holds out a small ring sized box in his hands.
"Cindy baby, will you marry me?" asks Jerry calmly.
"Oh Jerry!!! Yes! Yes I will marry you!" Cindy calls out jumping into Jerry's arms.
Weird announcer says, "Well it seems like there will be a party in the back so everyone… TO THE BACK FOR A PARTY!!!" Audience cheers.
"Wait hold up!" says Jerry, " I have to say my final thought!" Everyone sits down seeing as it is a joyous day for him. "The final thought for today is, girls, stay on the pill or you'll end up like those two (indicating Sharon and Ben). So until next time…don't make any babies."
THE END!
Hello again my wonderful follow…I mean audience. I see that we are anxious to read upon how Cinderella's life went on after she got married right? Well do you want the fairy tale version or the dirt version? Dirt version? Ok well here it goes…
Once upon a time…ok I'll cut the crap and save you the boring stuff ok? See this is how it went down. Remember how Cinderella and her prince charming went off after they got married? Well it didn't turn out so "Happily Ever After" as we thought. After a few months or so after they got married, Prince Charming, whose real name is "Ben Gay" but loves to be called Prince Charming (as I can see why with a name like that ^-^), wanted to get a divorce…
"Now why the hell do you want a divorce you prick!" exclaimed Cindy a.k.a Cinderella, with the divorce papers in her hands.
"Because, you no longer satisfy me," says Ben. "I mean come on, you have gotten ugly in the past months. Your fat, a slob, and don't pamper me anymore!" he whines into her face.
"Well you know what? I don't like you any more and I thought you married me because you loved me for what's on the inside and not the out!" she screeches into his face.
"B**** please, I am a prince! I get whatever I want and you were the most fairest desire in the land, besides I don't want to see anyone more beautiful than me out on the streets."
"Well guess what you dumb piece of toilet sh*t! I'll be seeing you on Jerry!" explains the p.oed girl. Just then, Ben notices the people around him were recording him with cameras and had the 'Jerry Springer' logo on their shirts.
'Oh shit,' thought the prince as he was fixing his hair. 'I wonder if they caught my on my left side cause it's the best side…'
For the next few days Ben and Cindy have been completely ignoring each other before the show, hoping to save all of the drama for National Television. As they reach Los Angeles and get to the hotel, they are greeted by the staff and told of their locations and things to do for in preparation for next week's show. Cinderella saw Jerry out of the corner of her eyes and sauntered over to him and get better… "acquainted" with him. Ok let's skip this part because they do things that even I don't want to talk about.
At the Studio
"Ok people… places everyone!!" exclaimed the gay director of the TV show.
Weird announcer dude says his lines, "Welcome… to Jerry Springer, where as today we will reveal sex scandals and prostitutes…" the announcer looks at his script and tears is up. "And now… herrrrrrrre's Jerry!!!"
"Well hello people and welcome to Jerry Springer today. We are here to talk about how people are committing sex scandals and their prostitution…" says Jerry. As the show is going on Cindy and Ben are watching as the guests appear on a small TV in the back room.
"As for our next guest, I'm sure that you have heard of them before, lets give it up for Cinderella and her Prince Charming," says Jerry reading off the cue cards.
"Well tell us the problem Cindy," says Jerry.
Cindy winks at Jerry. "Well Jerry… as you can see, I hate this man sitting next to me, and well I agree with him in getting a divorce."
"Well, ok Cindy, but why are you here if you just wanted a divorce?" asks Jerry.
"See the thing is, I found this earring in the bed…and I know as hell that it ain't mine so I want to know who the hell he is sleeping with behind my back," says Cindy (Oohs and the chanting of Jerry are heard in the audience).
Prince looks kind of pale and says, "Umm dear, where did you find that?"
Cindy states sarcastically, "Why on the bed, DEAR."
"Well do you want to know whom the earring belongs to Cindy?" asks Jerry and sees that she is nodding her head. "Well come on out and meet Sharon Peters, Cindy's stepsister!" exclaims Jerry.
"Oh **** no!!!" exclaims Cindy as she tries to attack Sharon but is held back by Steve (hears the audience chanting Steve now).
Jerry waits for all of the commotion to pass by and asks Sharon, "Now why are you sleeping with your sister's husband?"
Sharon, with her weave hair and a gold tooth in her mouth states, "Well Jerry, I can't blame him for not wanting me," stands up and struts around in a white cat suit, "because who can resist this sweet thang right here?"
Jerry coughs and clears his throat muttering something incoherent. "Well this IS your sister's husband, why are you doing such a thing?"
"Let me tell you something Jerry, Ben has been the man that I have wanted in all of my life, I mean look at him! Smart, sweet and caring… who doesn't want him, besides there getting a divorce so why should she care?"
"Well seeing as how Ben called the divorce…"
"WHAT!!!" bursts out Sharon. "You told me that she called the divorce!!! That's why I slept with you in the first place!"
"He what!!" belts out Cindy who was having a small conversation with Jerry. "You planned all of this!!!"
Ben stammers out, "This isn't how I planned things to work out… I didn't expect her to bring us on Jerry you know!"
"Well the cat is out of the bag sweetie and guess what," Cindy says calmly.
"What toots," he says.
"I'm pregnant," she states and waits to see Ben's reaction to this, not noticing Jerry's disappointed frown.
"Your what!" he stutters out, "How can you be pregnant and we didn't even do the booty yet!"
"Well duh idiot, the baby isn't yours," states Cindy.
"Who's the baby's daddy Cindy?" asks Jerry looking a bit too anxious.
"Why Jerry baby, it's yours," says Cindy smiling at him (hears the audience gasps). "Remember that night on the town and how drunk we were? That's when it happened."
"Cindy baby!!!" exclaims Jerry as he runs up to the stage and hugs her tightly (audience cheers for the happy couple).
"Now wait a dawg gone minute!! I'm pregnant too! How come no one's cheering for me!" Sharon exclaims profusely trying to call attention to her- self.
"Your what! I thought you said that you were on the pill!" states Ben.
"Well, I forgot to take it that day," says Sharon talking to Ben in the corner so that no one can hear them but in actuality no one is paying attention to them any more.
"Well people, it seems that we have had an unnatural turn of events here, because as you all know, I'm about to be a father! Oh and Cindy before I say the final thought I have a question to ask of you."
"What's that Jerry baby?" coos Cindy while she runs her fingers through his hair.
The audience and others watch as Jerry drop down on one knee and holds out a small ring sized box in his hands.
"Cindy baby, will you marry me?" asks Jerry calmly.
"Oh Jerry!!! Yes! Yes I will marry you!" Cindy calls out jumping into Jerry's arms.
Weird announcer says, "Well it seems like there will be a party in the back so everyone… TO THE BACK FOR A PARTY!!!" Audience cheers.
"Wait hold up!" says Jerry, " I have to say my final thought!" Everyone sits down seeing as it is a joyous day for him. "The final thought for today is, girls, stay on the pill or you'll end up like those two (indicating Sharon and Ben). So until next time…don't make any babies."
THE END!