A/N: This is a drabble for a series I want to write(and have pretty much started) and I plan on updating this with chapters so I'm going to fuck everything and call this a prologue even though it's technically not.
This is a huge AU which I'll explain in more detail at the end.
Critic is very very welcome. Help me get better, friends.
Peter Parker did not like purple prose. Every attempt he made at using it fell flat. It sounded too bland, too cliche or too forced and exaggerated. Floral metaphors weren't for everyone and it definitely wasn't for Peter. Floral anything wasn't for Peter. In fact, he'd ban floral in general so he wouldn't have to deal with Aunt Mays terrible taste in Décor.
Aunt May. He'd done what he could to keep her safe. He'd swallowed his pride and played dead often enough to start considering 'fake it til you make it' might have some truth to it because he was sure death was something akin to this. Loki didn't like it when he played corpse but it didn't seem to anger the God too much. Dislike was different to full out disdain and Peter had learnt that the hard way; up close and personal, with plenty of civilians dead and scars that Loki had used magic to fade.
'as black as night'.
No matter how bad the metaphor was, it was the only one Peter could think was appropriate; Loki's heart was black, as black as night. A cloudy night with stars hidden so well, you'd think there were none out there. The type of night sky that left you feeling desolated and alone in the universe as you feebly questioned your existence and the meaning of everything. Peter Parker, poet ex-fucking-traordinare.
Peter questioned a lot these days. He was never sure where he stood with Loki. Asking made him feel too small and insignificant but Loki had that effect on him lately without much effort. A simple gaze left Peter feeling scrutinized and insecure. Besides, he suspected if he asked Loki what their relationship meant, the God would only laugh coldly and smirk in a way that said 'What relationship? Don't tell me you think we have something—'.
Peter would never figure out Loki and yet he was deeply fearful of losing him. He had enough abandonment issues and the trope was getting old. It was time for the writers of his life to move the fuck on and give him a little stability and peace.
Asking also meant he'd have to say it out loud. He couldn't bring himself to openly discuss his more-than-platonic relationship with another man. Peter was not ready for that. Not now, possibly never, now that he thought about it. If not for Loki, he would've gladly buried this side of him forever in an unmarked grave.
Your friendly neighbourhood faggot.
lock your sons up. I heard Spider-Man's a sexual deviant! Lord knows why the police allow a pervert like that to run around.
peter parker, pro cock-sucker.
Shit it rhymed.
Fuck everyone. He had enough to deal with. People already thought he was a menace and if somehow that got out, he'd be ruined. Well, ruineder. Was it even a word?
Narrow minds caged more than just the owner.
Peter was grateful, however. By being the instigator and aggressor, Loki had taken that responsibility from him. Loki had kissed him first, Loki had aggressively initiated their first time, Loki had seduced and groomed him—Peter was free from guilt, in that retrospect. It wasn't his fault. Loki had come onto him, Loki had forced him—
Yeah right. Who was he fucking kidding? He obviously wanted it to happen, even if he feigned being a victim inside his head.
He only had himself to blame. Shame and guilt were Peter's best friends whenever he did a bit of introspection and so introspection became something Peter avoided.
'as black as night'.
Black was a colour Peter found intimidating and morbid. It wasn't a colour, it was an absence of colour. It was a beginning. The void; a state of nothingness.
Loki was a nothingness. The type of nothingness Nietzsche wrote about; the shadowed abyss that looked into you- but only if you were stupid enough to look into it first.
Curious and intrigued, Peter had looked. For a long long time.
And Loki had looked back.
He had only himself to blame.
Fuck Nietzsche.
And fuck Loki too.
But like black was a beginning, Peter believed Loki was the beginning, and like the colour black, he could be the end too.
Sometimes they'd talk afterwards- or Peter would do the talking and the man would ignore him- and sometimes Peter had no voice, courtesy of Loki. He was accustomed to it by now, Loki being Loki, and Peter had watched one too many films and films had taught him that people like Loki had been hurt before. Bad guys were bad because of the past. He'd been hurt and was looking to make others hurt, unless Peter could break through the ice cage Loki had confined himself to.
It was cliché but Peter believed it, right down to the ice cage. Loki had given him justice for Uncle Ben's death and he would give Loki freedom from himself.
Ice cage? Peter was clearly getting desperate to justify Loki's actions. Desperation was an art he'd perfected.
Peter really did believe Loki liked him, in his own Loki way. Loki had spent much time in Peter's room, in Peter's bed, at Peter's side and in Peter's mind. Sometimes Peter liked to think his thoughts in Loki's voice. It reminded him of when Loki whispered in his ears; the effect is nearly identical.
He's taken Loki's photo enough times to have filled a shoebox. Candid photos, mainly. As a photographer, Peter acknowledged Loki's striking beauty.
He kept the shoebox hidden in a place more secret than his porno collection. He could explain porn but not why he kept so many photos of a beautiful man. Photos clearly taken by him, and some taken in very compromising situations.
Peter wishes Loki would use his female form more often.
Maybe night wasn't dark enough. You could still hide in the dark, safe and sound. Hiding within Loki meant helplessly falling into oblivion.
Oblivion.
Fuck metaphors, they sounded lame.
Still, night wasn't dark enough. Like black drew in heat, Loki drew in Peter and despite the man's cold, Peter was burning. A cold flame that frostbit and broke everything Loki didn't like in Peter.
Was that really so bad?
He was better than better, thanks to Loki. As Spider-Man, he was strong, powerful and feared. He was everything he'd never thought he could be. Capable. A leader.
As Peter, he cowered in fear whenever Loki raised his voice.
You had to take the good with the bad.
"Scientists develop a material so black, you can't see it..." Peter read the title aloud. The attached image was a shocking uncomfortable black. 'Black hole' came to mind and Peter hoped it never came into fashion. It was not a practical colour by an means. The inability to reflect light would make it dangerous attire. And who wanted to look like a floating head? Or a floating torso? Images of run way models popped into his head and he shuddered comically. He'd pass.
"Humans focus on such trivial matters. How like them to be unsatisfied with black and to attempt to create an even blacker black as if black was too unsatisfyingly...black."
Peter cracked a smile at hearing the snarkiness in Loki's voice. Snarky Loki was his favourite. "Well, it's not like that. It'll actually be pretty useful when it comes to technology. See-"
"When did I ask for an educational lesson on human technology?"
Peter shrugged and avoided eye contact with Loki. He suddenly felt self-conscious. His eyes remains fixated on the black. He was being pulled in, somehow. A queasy feeling bubbled inside him and he dropped his eyes, allowing them to adjust to the more normal black of his keyboard.
An idea popped in his mind.
Metaphors sucked but this- this was Loki. This beautiful, uncomfortable, unsettling, menacing, engulfing swallow-you-whole-
This- this
Vantablack.
"You alike me to this colour? I must concur-"
Peter choked on air.
"You truly do posses no talent for metaphors."
A/N:
As I said, this is an AU. Artistic liberties had to be taken, don't judge too harshly. Ideas are more than welcome because I have the main plot but things could happen in between *wink wink, nudge nudge*
Peter wasn't always a crime-fighter. It was Uncle Ben's death that changed him. I've been curious as to who Spider-Man would be if he had taken a different message from Uncle Ben's death.
But that would be out of character- if he was on his own.
A fellow Rper and I decided on a plot that would incorporate Spiderfrost (since we Rped Peter and Loki and they have great chemistry in the comics. Spidey's an agent of chaos, aw yeah) I lost contact with them and I decided to create a fanfiction out of the plot since we never got far.
Peter becomes Spider-Man but does not fight crime. He does wrestling for a short while before retiring and spending his time swinging around in costume and being a spaz. During that time, Peter meets and (reluctantly) aids Loki with something. (Their interaction would've been similar to their team-up in the comics, with Loki being more laid-back and humorous). Loki departed, owing Peter a favour. Shortly after, Uncle Ben dies and Peter becomes obsessed with revenge. His negative mental state ultimately ends up attracting Loki. Loki is now similar to his Avenger's counterpart and Peter notices the difference almost immediately but figures Loki's moody. Loki sees an opportunity to fuck around with Peter's poor mental state and becomes a regular in Peter's life. He successfully manages to become a sort of mentor/father-figure to Peter with Peter welcoming it, with the role Uncle Ben formerly filled now being occupied once again.
And of course, with Loki's influence, Peter turns out a little different.