Disclaimers:
These are obviously not my characters. I'm just borrowing them from Rob Tapert and anyone else who owns them. Any dialogue from the series is also obviously not mine.
Takes place during The Quest. If you haven't seen it, you're gonna be confused. Basically everything that happened in it happens here, I'm just adding some thoughts and scenes at the end.
"We always think we have plenty of time. We know people are gonna leave us, but we never face up to it. What would you have told her?" Iolaus asked quietly.
"I would have told her…how empty my life was before she came, and all the lessons I learned, and that I love her."
"Gabrielle, you just told her." He pointed out.
Gabrielle knew that. She knew the dead could hear her thoughts. She knew Xena could hear her thoughts, hear how much she missed her and how much she loved her. She knew it in her mind, but somehow it didn't make her heart feel better. She didn't think Iolaus understood. She didn't mean she loved Xena like a best friend, or like family. She meant it in every sense of the word. She had been afraid to admit the depth of her feelings to her friend, for fear of rejection. Oh, she wasn't afraid Xena would freak about the idea of two women being together. They'd spent enough time around the Amazons that she knew Xena was perfectly fine with that.
Get enough alcohol in an Amazon and she loses her inhibitions, and whenever Xena was around that seemed to mean hitting on the dark warrior. Either that or hitting her. Gabrielle wasn't sure which she disliked more. Xena was rarely drunk herself and the bard knew how capable she was of defending herself, but it still hurt that her adoptive family still couldn't really accept Xena. The hitting on, however…frequently led to Xena disappearing for the night. Once the bard figured out just why she was so upset when this happened, she tried to distract herself by finding her own eager Amazon to experiment with. It didn't really help. She knew who she wanted. But now it was too late. She'd lost her chance to find out if Xena felt the same way she did. So she plodded down the road towards Amphipolis.
Floating around the netherworld, Xena was in shock. All this time Gabrielle had been in love with her and she hadn't known? Heck, she hadn't even been sure the blonde woman had been interested in women. Sure, she'd danced with the Amazons, but she didn't realize how far it had gone. She herself had been head over heels for the small bard, but as usual with affairs of the heart had been terrified and of course pushed her feelings aside. It was easier just to hook up with some random Amazon and get her needs met. If she'd just known. Well, she was working on a plan to get back inside her body, right? After that…she'd figure out where to go from there.
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It had been crazy. Finally giving in and deciding to burn Xena's body in an Amazon funeral and take just her ashes back to Amphipolis, followed by Autolycus showing up claiming to have Xena's essence inside, asking him to steal her body before the pyre destroyed it, and finally the realization that he was telling the truth, which caused her to chase him. Now she was standing here, and apparently her best friend was going to prove to her what was going on. A normal person wouldn't believe it, but then Gabrielle had already seen too many amazing things to doubt much anymore, especially where Xena was involved.
Gabrielle closed her eyes tightly and pictured Xena. When she opened them again, she saw her beloved warrior princess and she fought to hold back the tears.
"Gabrielle, Gabrielle, it's me. I'm not dead."
"Xena!"
"At least not completely." The dark woman amended.
"Why? Why did you leave? There's so many things I want to say to you."
"Gabrielle, you don't have to say a word. We don't have much time. I need to get to the ambrosia – otherwise, I will be gone."
"Xena, I can't lose you again."
"Gabrielle, I'll always be here."
With that, she leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on the lips of the bard. Gabrielle closed her eyes, reveling in the feel of a kiss she never thought she'd get again. All too soon, she opened her eyes to see Autolycus again. Had it all been just a dream? Had it been Autolycus kissing her? Doubts plagued her mind, but she knew in her heart it had been Xena.
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Gabrielle watched her best friend say goodbye to the King of Thieves. She had to say, she would always think of him fondly now too, no matter how annoying he was. After all, without him she wouldn't have gotten Xena back.
"Xena."
"Yeah." The warrior turned to the bard, forgetting all about Autolycus.
"Promise me that you'll never die on me again."
"Oh, I promise."
"You know, for a few moments, I knew what it was like to be you."
"And?" Xena quirked her eyebrow. What had the bard felt when they were one?
"It was warm, friendly, loving-"
"Gabrielle, it was a fight." She interrupted the silly bard.
"I felt protected. The world needs people like that…right?"
Xena smiled. "Right."
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Three days later, the women sat silently by the campfire. Three days had passed, and neither had spoken of the kiss or feelings more than friendship. Gabrielle was getting worried. Surely Xena had heard her thoughts while the warrior was technically dead. Yet she hadn't said anything about it. She was sure that meant Xena didn't feel the same way. So she tried to focus on what she had, and be happy that at least the dark woman was back and still seemed to want to be friends.
Xena sat brooding, staring into the fire. She didn't know where the courage to kiss the young bard had come from, but she couldn't seem to call it up again. That whole experience had been so weird, it would be easy to blame it on that and continue with their lives as they were. She liked the way they were, right?
"Hey Xena?" Gabrielle put her hand on her companion's knee. The warrior princess jumped slightly as she was jolted out of her thoughts.
Gabrielle shrunk back as if she'd been physically hit. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…I just wanted to know if you wanted the last of the stew."
Xena looked at her friend, who had moved over, and had pain in her eyes. Suddenly she realized she had caused that. Gabrielle thought she was rejecting her. She knew that she had heard all of those thoughts, and by not acknowledging that the poor bard thought Xena didn't love her. Suddenly any thoughts about keeping the relationship platonic flew out the window. Xena could deal with her own longing and pain, but she couldn't bear to cause her young companion any.
"Gabrielle…" she scooted closer.
"No, it's okay, you don't have to explain." Gabrielle fought to keep her tears away.
"Gabrielle, I do, I have to tell you,"
"Really, I'm fine, you don't-"
Xena gave up on attempting to explain herself with words, and cut off the bard's protests with a gentle kiss.
Gabrielle's eyes first went wide with shock, then with amazement, and finally fluttered shut just as Xena pulled away.
The warrior looked down. "I'm sorry it took me so long. I'm not good at…this." She gestured between them vaguely.
"You mean…"
"I've wanted to do that for months, but…I didn't want to mess things up. I didn't think I could live without you, even if that meant just staying friends."
For once, the bard was speechless, so Xena kept talking.
"Then I heard your thoughts, and that was it. I knew I had to find a way to come back, so I could do that."
"Then why didn't you?" Gabrielle asked softly.
Xena sighed. "Because I'm a coward. I was afraid I'd mess this up, afraid I'd hurt you. But then I saw that not doing anything was hurting you too."
"It really was. I thought you weren't interested in me." She admitted, looking down.
Xena touched her chin and pulled her face up to look into her eyes. "Gabrielle, I'd have to be crazy not to be interested in you. And no comments on that, please." She tried to break the tension slightly with humor.
Gabrielle smiled and slid closer until she was leaning against Xena. The warrior put her arm around her shoulders.
"Xena?"
"Mmm?"
"You know, I was kinda startled that first time you…kissed me." Her face split into a wide grin just thinking about it.
"Uh huh." Xena said slyly.
"Can we do it again?"
"You don't even have to ask." She responded, leaning in to capture the bard's lips in a passionate kiss.