THE CARNAGE!
Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. I haven't in any other fic, and I'm not about too either!
Authors note: VERY IMPORTANT! This is based off of a hay ride I went on with my family one Independence Day. It is pretty much that hay ride with LOTR characters instead of my insane family. I hope you all enjoy!
Yes, it was the one year anniversary of the destruction of the Ring, and the surviving Fellowship, Elrond, Galadriel, Glorfindel, Celeborn, and Thranduil all made their ways to Gondor for the celebration in Ithilien.
Food, fun, music, dancing, and reunions were happily gracing the event, and it may have continued this peacefully, but Aragron said, "HEY Everybody! We're gonna have a hay ride!"
"YEAH!" Was the general cheer. Suddenly, two strong Clydesdales and a large red wagon came around the corner. A random elf driving it. Immediately the Fellowship, Elrond, Glorfindel, Galadriel, Celeborn, Faramir, and Eowyn all jumped in. Glorfindel decided to join the driver on the bench.
The wagon, now comfortably full, headed off into the trees. All was peaceful, for nearly a hundred yards. Suddenly, it began.
"What was that for! Who threw that!" Elrond suddenly yelled. He looked over at Merry and Pippin who looked particularly innocent. He began picking straw off himself and then he was hit again, this time, Thranduil was hit as well. A few seconds later, there was screaming and yelling from nearly everyone. Glorfindel turned around and laughed.
Suddenly, he began to speak. "Heeeey there Gondor! This is Lord Glorfindel coming to you live from the Big Red Wagon! If you are not here right now! You are missing the hay ride fight of the century!" He sounded like an announcer. "Ooooh! That had to hurt! Pippin was just stuffed full of hay by Thranduil! Way full! Oh my! It's coming out of his shirt. Pippin and Merry are ganging up on King Thranduil and oooh! He's getting his tunic stuffed! Over in the far corner, Gandalf is stuffing Legolas full of hay, while Legolas is stuffing him back! Oooh! THE CARNAGE! THE CARNAGE! Eowyn is stuffing Arwen's dress chuck full of hay! OOH! OOH! The elf queen is retaliating with a fist full of straw! You have never EVER seen such a hay ride! The CARNAGE! THE CAAARNAAAGGGEEE! Over in the far left of the wagon, Faramir and Celeborn are going at it hammer and tongs, well hay and straw! Oh whoa! Hello! Hay is everywhere, and through the flying straw I see... yes, yes, it is! Elrond's stuffing two hobbits at once! Yes! Two at once! This must be some sort of record. Uh oh! Teams are being formed! Uh oh! It's Elrond, Aragorn, Faramir, Eowyn, Frodo, Thranduil, and Merry on one team, and Galadriel, Celeborn, Pippin, Sam, Arwen, Legolas, and Gimli on the other! They're at opposite ends of the wagon, and the lines have clashed! Legolas is stuffing his father full! He better watch it when he gets home! Elrond and Arwen are going at it, Gimli and Eowyn are having it out, Eowyn has the upper hand, she's using her height to her advantage! This shieldmaid still knows how to fight! Oh good Varda! Sam is stuffing Frodo! Sam is stuffing Frodo! THE CARNAGE! The CARNAGE! It's Faramir and Celeborn going at it, and Galadriel and Merry! The caaaaaaaaarrrrrrnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagggggggeeeeeeeeee! We're over half done! OH GOOD VALAR! THE CARNAGE IS TOO MUCH! I've slayed balrogs that weren't this scary! I can't see a thing in all the straw and hay flying everywhere! Thank Eru we're almost back! Wait, the carnage has stopped! Everyone has fallen down where they stood, breathless and tired! Oh my goodness! I don't believe it! It's...over. And it looks like... no one has won! It is a draw! And what's this? They are all coming towards the front! Uh oh! This announcer is in trouble! And yes! They are stuffing me full of hay! ACK! IT ITCHES! THE CARNAGE!