Disclaimer: I own nothing
Author Notes: Set post 'Tallahassee' and goes a little AU from there. Title taken from the song 'Those Canaan Days' from the musical 'Joseph And The Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat.'
WE DRINK THE BITTER WINE
The dreams didn't stop. Fire, burning curtains, and somebody else there, just out of view. Princess Snow was kind and sat with her, stroking her hair. She seemed so strong and sure. Aurora took comfort in that, in witnessing life being lived beyond the nightmares of the sleeping spell. But Princess Snow had also been reunited with her true love. Aurora was not that blessed.
She turned her face away so that Princess Snow did not see her tears. Philip was gone. She had to keep telling herself that. Philip was gone. The only bright spot she'd known during those terrible stifling years was now snuffed out forever. Even slipping into that unending slumber, Aurora had been sure that Philip would save her. Her fairies had had magic and courage beyond imagining. But Philip had been the one to look into her eyes and tell her that she was worthy and wonderful and that he wanted to spend all his days with her. His determination and strength had been present even then.
Now the only one who also knew such things was Mulan and they were strangers to each other. Mulan was a warrior, able to protect herself and others. She wore men's clothes and was treated as any man's equal. Philip had liked her so much that he'd taken her on his journey. He'd relied on her for encouragement and strength. He'd brought her to where Aurora had slept and had rightly believed that she would respectfully keep watch as he greeted his beloved.
Aurora found herself watching Mulan, trying to see what Philip had seen. How had Philip and Mulan met? Had they had to earn each other's trust? Had they argued and fought before an accord was made? Had they slept beside each other when resting from the road? Had Philip ever noticed what a beauty Mulan was?
Aurora tried not to be sharp with Mulan, tried not to think terrible things of the one who put Aurora's safety above all else. But this woman had travelled far with Philip, had fought battles at his side, and had loved him, Aurora was sure of that. Mulan had had Philip all to herself. She'd had what Aurora could never experience again.
So Aurora watched her, filled with resentment and a confused sort of yearning. And sometimes Mulan looked back.
Neither of them wore mourning clothes. They should, but such things were now impossible. Princess Snow and her odd daughter wore strange clothes and seemed at ease in them. Mulan wore her armour like an animal wore its own skin. Aurora wore thin skirts and gemstones and a shawl to keep her warm. She felt as though she should be in a guarded carriage, not traipsing about on foot. She longed for one of her simpler gowns and sturdier shoes. She longed not to stand out like a beacon, like a target for those who thought her easy prey.
She remained haughty with Captain Jones, who wrapped himself in charming words and courtly manners. He spoke and acted like a gentleman, like a piece of the kingdom that Aurora had once known so well, so she behaved in kind, as a princess should. Perhaps he would not betray them, though Emma seemed so sure that he would. Aurora lived in hope.
"Here."
Mulan handed her a parcel of clothing. There were breeches, a simple high-necked shirt, boots, and a long thick coat. It looked like a page's outfit, but it also looked comfortable, warm, and easy to move in. Aurora shook the fabric out with a growing smile.
"Where did you…?"
"Some of the buildings were deserted. We found food and many abandoned belongings."
And Mulan had thought to look for something discreet and comfortable for Aurora, who kept a cool distance from her and churned with unsaid words, accusations, and fiery tears.
Remorse and shame uncurled inside the princess. Mulan was a better woman than she. She did her duty without complaint and never once said a damaging word to Aurora, though she must have been filled with them. She took care of Aurora, because it was what Philip would have wanted. She lived by honour, in every sense.
Mulan was looking at her, a shade unsettled by Aurora's expression. She must look mad, Aurora realised, cradling clothes close and staring at the woman kind enough to think of her comfort. She tried a small sincere smile.
"Thank you, Mulan."
"Your Highness."
When Aurora changed into her new clothes, there was no glass for her to look in. Hook offered to guard her, he was only thinking of her safety of course. Emma rolled her eyes and retorted that he was staying where they could all see him; he wasn't going to get a free show. Aurora blushed and strode quickly away to a thicket.
Aurora now had plenty of practice in unclasping the fastenings of her dress without any assistance. She folded the gown and briefly pressed her face to it. Philip had touched this garment. He had caressed it when embracing her, when kissing her for the final time. She stroked the gauzy fabric. She had so few things left to remind her of him.
The clothing fitted well. Even the boots were a suitable size. Aurora had never worn clothing like it, but she knew she would be able to run in it and defend herself if necessary, for all the good it would do her.
She stepped out of the thicket, her dress tucked under her arm and her crown still woven into her hair. Mulan was waiting for her, standing on guard perhaps. Always on duty. Her eyes widened a fraction.
"It will take time to get used to this," Aurora admitted, looking down at her attire. "I'm grateful, thank you, Mulan. Truly."
Mulan bowed from the waist, a neat respectful gesture. She hesitated a moment before speaking. "It suits you, Princess."
Aurora's smile appeared unbidden. The moment stretched between them only a little longer, then Mulan turned to leave, her posture unwavering.
Captain Jones was clever with words. Aurora watched him wield them, a frown marring her face. He talked to Princess Snow, and to Emma, as though he was trying to make a place for himself in the group. Maybe he thought that by talking to Princess Snow he would gain himself a valuable place by her side, that somehow he would replace the Princess's true love who waited for her. Philip would have watched the Captain carefully, and would have compared him to a snake in the grass, always slipping away and surviving and leaving disaster in his wake. Philip had often said that his father's court was inhabited by such men, men who claimed to have his father's best interests at heart but who only looked after themselves.
It struck Aurora that Mulan could have behaved like the Captain. She could have plied Philip with persuasive words about how unlikely it was that he would ever find Aurora alive, she could have told him that Aurora wouldn't have wanted him to waste his life fruitlessly searching for her. She could have slid her way into his affections. But she clearly hadn't – Philip's love for Aurora had been there in his expression when she'd woken up. Mulan had been his trusted companion, determined to help him in his quest for his love. Mulan had thought only of Philip's happiness.
Such sacrifice.
Emma nudged Aurora, as they ate by the fire. "You're doing that thing again, with your eyes."
Aurora blinked and quickly turned her gaze from Mulan to Princess Snow's daughter. "I'm sorry?"
Emma's face did something complicated but she stayed silent, leaving Aurora to stamp out embers and to glance at Mulan's glowing complexion across the flames.
How could Philip not have noticed her beauty?
They were often attacked. Of course they were. They were facing an extremely persistent foe as well as the perils of the land itself. Mulan always took up a defensive stance in front of Aurora when an ogre or beast or stranger crossed their path. Princess Snow always guarded Emma who claimed that she didn't need to. Captain Jones protected himself.
Aurora watched Princess Snow construct arrows. She too had learned how to use a bow, at her mother's insistence. It was the sort of skill that every princess learned, for ceremonial occasions and impressing other courts. But the lessons had been some time ago and Aurora had been through much since then. Still, she asked Princess Snow to teach her. Everyone else had a weapon. Princess Snow agreed with a smile and a squeeze of Aurora's hand. Their stories were so alike. Aurora was deeply glad of her company and of the hope that Princess Snow embodied.
Princess Snow stroked Aurora's hair while Aurora slept, to try and keep the nightmares away, and armed her in the daylight, helping her remember how to aim.
After Emma had stomped off, growling at Captain Jones to stop calling her Princess, Aurora followed, bringing her water to drink. Emma looked surprised and Aurora's heart ached a little, for the little girl who'd grown up into his untrusting woman. Had Emma never had a Philip? Or maybe hers had been untrue, or whisked away from her. However strange Emma's world sounded, it seemed that some things remained constant.
Aurora plaited flowers as they walked, knowing with a vague accompanying warmth that Mulan was near and was most likely keeping an eye on Captain Jones. It wasn't her place to say anything but the words hovered on her lips regardless. Emma's anger seemed to be cooling and Aurora finished a floral bracelet, slipping it around her own wrist and admiring the petals in the sun. Perhaps no one else would tell Emma.
Aurora let the words take flight.
"He's telling the truth. It's nothing you should deny."
Emma snorted. "I'm not a princess. I'm a sheriff, got the shiny gold badge and everything."
"Being one doesn't mean you can't be the other too."
Emma shook her head, her frustration clear. "This place…look, I'm not its princess. It's not who I am, at all."
Aurora lowered her gaze for a second, remembering the empty castle that Philip and Mulan had found her in. "Just because a kingdom is…changed doesn't mean it no longer needs you."
Emma stared at her and huffed but didn't say a word more about it.
Later, Mulan sat beside Aurora as the fire burned and meat on sticks cooked, fat dripping and sizzling. Mulan had taken her heavy gloves off, Aurora noticed, and she looked almost hesitant. But she didn't walk away. Mulan was braver than that.
Aurora smiled a little. She'd been lost in thoughts of her home, the castle, her parents, the fairies who'd given so much to protect her. She wondered, not for the first time, where Mulan had come from, what her family was like, how she had met Philip. What had she given up to help him?
Mulan's leg rested against Aurora's. Neither of them moved away.
