READ THIS FIRST, PLEASE.
I wrote this story in Spanish and was asked to translate it to English, which I'm happy to do. But English is not my first language so if you find something weird or wrong, please let me know so I can correct it. Also if there's someone who would like to help me checking the translation before updating a new chapter I'll be very thankfull. I'm a translator English-Spanish myself, but not Spanish-English which is more complicated.
The original story is already in this site under the same name and is complete in case you want to take a look at it in Spanish.
This is story was inspired by tbeans3 with her story High School Better, if you haven't read it yet go and do it, it's really good.
All or most of the characters belong to E. L. James
August 15th, 2016
Christian's POV
Today I start my senior year at Bellevue Private High School. As usual nothing new happens, most of the students live in the area and we all have met in social meetings that we have attended with our parents. It means that for twelve years, since elementary school, we practically have seen the same faces.
I'm a very introverted boy and I don't like talking about myself. I was adopted when I was four. Because of the nightmares and marks I have in my body I can tell my first years in life weren't the best, and that's the reason I suffer from haphephobia. For a hormonal-18-year-old-boy that can't be good, I rather live in my private world than risking someone touching me by accident. I'm going to die a virgin!
My parents are Carrick and Grace. I have an older brother, Elliot, he's about to finish his studies at MIT, and a younger sister, Mia, she's a sophomore. My siblings are adopted as me, but they were newborns, so they just have good memories. Besides all of that I feel lucky, the Greys have accepted me as one of their own since I was a child and they have given me love and comprehension, even when I thought I didn't deserve it.
When I was 14-15 I suffered from depression, I discovered alcohol and drugs and they gave some released for a while, they allowed me to forget about the awful nightmares and thoughts I used to have. That until my parents realized that I was spending my monthly payments in that and find out about the missing bottles of alcohol at home; they took away all my resources and they put me in a rehab clinic for two months. Was then that I understood I shouldn't focus on my past but in my present, in this family that loves me, respects me and helps me when I need them. Thanks to them I went out of the path of depression and auto destruction, everything was almost alright, except my phobia, but I wasn't so worried about it anymore, I accepted the fact that it was something I have to live with.
When I was about to be 16, I had another sort of 'trauma'. My mother asked me to pick up some stuff from a friend's house, Elena Lincoln, it was near my school so obeying my mom I went. When I arrived to her house, Mrs. Lincoln was just wearing a robe, I thought it was strange, she asked me to go with her to pick up the stuff that she had in another room, huge was my surprise when she took me to a red room, it was fill with whips and torture instruments, my blood gets cold just thinking about it, she took off the robe, I could see all her naked body and then she came to me to kiss me. "Don't touch me... don't touch me, please", was everything I manage to say and then I run away to my car.
When I got home I told my parents, my dad called Mr. Lincoln and I showed them the room, they called the police and they confiscated the hole place and found pictures and videos of kids of my age that Mrs. Lincoln abused. I didn't see the pictures, but my father told me that Mrs. Lincoln felt pleasure by torturing teenagers.
She's still in prison, she has a 50 year sentence for pedophilia and my father, who is a lawyer, managed to not allow her under any circumstances to be able to reduce the sentence. My mother is a pediatrician and she examined every child in the pictures they found. Since then my parents and Mr. Lincoln started a charity called "Coping Together", that offers therapy to young victims of sexual abuse and also helps parents with drugs and alcohol problems as my biological mother to help them rehab and have a better future. The bad thing about all that is that incremented my fear to be touched.
I'm arriving at the school. While I park I see Ethan and Kate. Ethan is my brother's best friend and her sister is like his platonic love, she's pretty, but not my type, which is good for brotherhood. Per Elliot request, Ethan has been my human shield during high school. He is always paying attention so nobody can touch me by accident or intentionally.
I get off the car and walk towards them.
"Hello Kate, Ethan" I wave at them with my hand, they know about my phobia and respect my limits.
"Hello Christian" they say at the same time, the difference is that Ethan doesn't say anything else and Kate keeps talking. "Can you believe this is our last year?, by the way, how's Mia?, I hope she can come to class soon". My sister has the flu, so she'll miss the first days of school.
"Yeah", I say. "I'm her slave right now so the sooner the better".
While we walk to the main office suddenly a very excited Kate yells to another girl that is about to get inside.
"Ana!, Ana!, this way."
The girl approaches us with her face all flushed because of the attention she received and I notice she's beautiful with her brown hair and beautiful blue eyes, she says hi to Kate and Ethan with a kiss on their cheeks and an affectionate hug. I feel jealous of Ethan right now, he could just kissed and hugged this girl just like that.
"Christian, this is our friend Anastasia Steele. Her father is replacing our old furniture at home and then he'll continue with my mother's boutique, they're staying with us because they're from Montesano, so Ana transferred here for her last year. Ana, this is Christian Grey, our friend from Bellevue, I talked to you about him." She talked about me with her, what could she have said about me?
"Hello Anastasia, is nice to meet you", that's all I manage to do, I wish I could at least handshake with this beautiful girl, but I can't.
"Hello Christian" she says with an honest smile. "Please, call me Ana, is nice to meet you too" we stare at each other for a moment, I don't want to forget her beautiful face and she's looking at me like if I was a mystery, well, if she only knew.
"Well, let's go for our schedules" Ethan interrupts. "We don't want to be late."
In the main office we compare our schedules. Ethan, Ana and I have the first class together, Precalculus, and then I have English Literature with Ana. On our third period we all have Advanced Computer Skills, and after that Ethan and I have Theory of Music, then we have an hour for lunch and again Ana and I have Health together. On the sixth period I have Advanced Foundation to Business and the last hour we all have Sports.
We say bye to Kate and go to our Precalculus class. I realized that Ana is just as quiet as Ethan and I, I like that, it's not uncomfortable. We get to our classroom and as always I walk to the back of the room and take the seat at the corner, it's my defense mechanism so nobody can touch me by surprise from the back. Ethan and Ana follow me, as always Ethan sits next to me and for the first time, I want another person to be seated by my side. Come on Christian, don't create expectations, you can even handshake with her, I think while she takes the sit in front of me.
The bell rings and the teacher enters the room. He hands us the books we're going to work with, explains an exercise and gives us the hour to solve 10 problems in a piece of paper, once we finish we can give it to him and then we are free for the rest of class. While the teacher was explaining I solve half of them so I was the first one to finish, I've always been good with numbers. Besides, I hurry this time so I could watch the little girl seated in front of me. This has never happened in my life before, to want to feel the touch of someone just to know how is like, or to stare at her in this way, I don't know what's going on with me, I feel a weird tingling in my stomach when I look at her.
I'm enjoying the view when Ethan interrupts me.
"Christian, what result did you get for number 3?"
"23."
"Damn, I got 25."
"Let me see", I check my answer and I'm sure of it. "Let me see yours" I say to him and I realized of his mistake. I explain him what's wrong and we correct the exercise.
"Thank you Christian, numbers are not my thing" he says embarrassed.
"You're welcome, anytime" I answer with a smile. Then Ana turns to face me.
"Excuse me, I don't want to bother you, but it seems you are good at math, can you explain me the same exercise again, please?"
"Yeah, sure", I answer maybe too soon and with too much enthusiasm because she blushes. Maybe she also feels this weird tingling in her stomach, I wonder.
The hour goes explaining the exercises to Ana and Ethan, we finished right on time before the class is over. The bell rings and we go out of the classroom.
"Do you want me to drop you off in your next class?" asks Ethan. I feel my face turning red, Ana's going to think I can walk by myself.
"No, I'm fine, thank you, I'll go with Ana so you won't be late for your class", I say looking at the ceiling embarrassed, I know he means well tough.
"Ok" he answers, "see you later, take care". Damn, it looks like I'm a little boy about to cross the street alone for the first time.
"Let's go", I say. "I know the way."
"Sure, I'll follow you" she says shyly.
Come on Grey, use your time, you're alone.
"If you need a tutor for math I can help with that..., if you want."
"I don't want to be a bother."
"It'll be a pleasure", I say almost without thinking.
"Thanks" she says blushing again. "I'll let you know when we can meet. I don't want to make the Kavanaghs uncomfortable".
"We can meet in my house."
We get to our class and the bell rings again, once again I take the back seat in the corner, Ana sits next to me this time.
"If it's not a problem with your parents I accept your help" she says blushing. What a beautiful color, the pink in her cheeks..., calm down Christian!
The teacher gets in the classroom and hands us the list of books we have to read for the first quarter, I know most of them by name, but I haven't read them all.
"Do you like English Literature?" she asks.
Not much really, but I need this credit to finish with English. She smiles, what a beautiful smile.
"That happens to me with Precalculus" she says giggling. Then the teacher talks.
"This class I want you to mark in this list the books you have already read", she says handing us another piece of paper. "Then I want you to write an essay about a topic related to any book you have ever read, it doesn't have to be necessarily on the list. You have to start now and give it to me tomorrow. Besides you have to start reading the first book in the first piece of paper I gave you, we'll have an activity related to your reading in two weeks."
The list has a little bit of everything, from Dr. Seuss to Shakespeare. From a list of 25 I mark 8, when I look at Ana's sheet she just left 2.
"Wow, this time I'll need your help", I say impressed. She looks at my list and giggles.
"I can teach you how to read any time, Grey" she says kidding. I start laughing too, she has a sweet sense of humor.
We start to write our essays until the end of the hour, I'll have to finish it at home because I don't like the way it is so far, I notice Ana sighs while she puts her stuff in her backpack. I wonder what makes her sigh.
The other classes before lunch are just the same, little conversations in between, nothing relevant, though is hard to concentrate with the thought of those blue eyes. At lunch time Ethan and I go to the cafeteria, we buy our lunches and go find Kate and Ana that had the last class together.
"What if we go to the movie theater this weekend, on Saturday?" says Kate.
"Good for me", says Ethan, "but let's not watch anything romantic". The image of Ana and I sitting together, hugging her while watching a movie and eating pop corns comes to my mind. Me touching someone?
"Yeah let's go to the movies", I say with enthusiasm, "Elliot is coming this weekend and I'm pretty sure Mia will be recovered."
"Yes, I hope so", says Kate, "What do you say Ana?"
"This weekend a friend from Montesano is coming to visit me, if you don't mind he coming with me I don't have any problem on going". I tense, what friend?, maybe is something more, though she didn't blush when she talked about him, and every time our eyes meet she blushes. It gives me hope.
"Of course it's not a problem", says Kate. "Well, I guess it's a date, during the week we can coordinate better."
We leave for the next class, I have it with Ana. While we are on our way I can't help it but ask her.
"Who is that friend that's coming to visit you?" I say perhaps with a little more roughness than what I intended.
"Oh, Jose" she says smiling tenderly, I tense again, "he's my childhood friend, our parents are old friends and Jose and I expend a lot of time together, he is my best friend." I don't say anything else I don't want to hear more. What the hell is happening to me? Come on Grey, you just met her, don't expect to be the center of her universe.
"Is it Ethan your best friend?", she asks.
"No, well, yeah" I hesitate. "He's my brother's best friend, I know him from always, but I'm kind of an introvert, I don't have a best friend, "he helps me with something tough..." I say embarrassed, "anyway he is a good friend."
"I see, I can't wait to meet your siblings on Saturday, Kate talks a lot about them", she says smiling.
I can't take it anymore and while we take our seats I ask.
"He's your boyfriend, isn't he? Jose", I say with indignation.
"What?!, no!, he's like a brother to me, besides…" she doesn't say anything. She was going to say something but she changed her mind. "Nothing, it doesn't matter, you'll see it by yourself on Saturday", she looks embarrassed.
"I'm sorry" I say, "I don't know why I asked that way, it's not my business."
"It's fine."
The nurse comes in with a couple of things in her hands and leaves them in her desk.
"Alright class, the first thing we are going to do is talk about reproduction", that's my luck, the first girl I find attractive and this happens to me! I glance at her and she is more blushed than what I've seen her all day, at least is not just uncomfortable for me. "Today we'll talk about how babies are made".
Next hour we expend it watching a video of the Boy who met the Girl, then they go to bed and after that the sperm swims to the egg… When the video is over the nurse tells us that tomorrow we'll start getting real awareness about reproduction.
The bell rings and we go out of the classroom. Ana and I look at each other and laugh, it's more like a nervous laugh, that was uncomfortable.
"See you at Sports" I say, "do you know how to get to your next class?"
"Yes, Kate showed me in the school map."
"Good, see you then."
The next hour goes slow, very slow, I like business, that's what I want to do in the future, merchandise and acquisitions and make profit of it, but today, I just want to see Ana, I still don't know what's wrong with me today, and the way I reacted when I knew about her friend. I think I'll call Elliot as soon as I can, I need an advice.
When the hour is over I go to the lockers room to change into my sport clothes, Ethan is already there and almost ready. He waits for me and together we leave to the gym. I see her coming by the door and I stop breathing, she's wearing shorts and a fit t-shirt, I can see her legs and the form of her breast, I can't stop looking at her. Luckily the whistles distracts me.
"Guys, let's go to the track. You'll run four laps and when you are done you'll do 40 abs, then you can rest."
My group starts running together, I'm faster than them but I try to go slow to look at Ana and her slim figure, her hips are perfect, I wonder how her skin might feel in my hand..., and this time I feel my crotch getting hard. Damn, calm down Grey. I can't concentrate.
"I'll hurry a little", I say to Ethan to distract myself and so they don't get to see me all excited.
"Ok, I'll try to follow you."
While I try to go faster I adjust my erection a little bit, with sweat pants it's more noticeable, this has never happened to me, some girls in the past have tried to made a pass at me, they weren't ugly, but they never caught my attention and Ethan has always been there so they don't get too close, I can't believe how I reacted today.
I finish the 4 laps and do the 40 abs, when I'm done Ethan catches up with me.
"Hey Christian, you flew, I couldn't catch you earlier" he says gasping.
"I'm sorry I forgot you were behind me. Where are the girls?", I ask.
"Still on the track, you know Kate doesn't like running and Ana is with her."
Ethan does his abs and we sit on the stands while we observe the girls arriving and doing their abs. Once they are ready they come sit with us.
"Ethan", says Kate with a slyness face" do you remember last year when we had health together and the teacher gave condoms to everyone?"
"Unfortunately I do remember Kate, there's nothing worse that watching a videos about how babies are made with your little sister", says Ethan looking at me. Ana and I laugh.
"Hey I'm younger for 3 minutes, but yeah, it was disgusting." Ana and I keep laughing remembering our peculiar class.
The teacher whistles one more time and the class is over. We go to the lockers room to change. We wait for the girls in the aisle. After they go out we walk together to the parking lot. I say goodbye to them and get into my car. Ana gets in Ethan and Kate's car, I start the engine and leave. I have to drive about 20 minutes to get home, to use my time I put my cellphone on speaker and call my brother.
"Hey little bro, how was your day?", says my always enthusiastic older brother.
"It's been good Lelliot", we laugh, when I was a kid I didn't differentiate between Elliot and Lelliot and I called him like that. "I'm calling because something happened."
"What happened?, Ethan let someone touch you?, he knows you can't, I'll talk to him, don't worry." Woah, why so upset?, Ethan must be afraid of him that's why he takes so much care of me.
"No Elliot, listen, I met a girl, she's friend with 'your Kate' and Ethan."
"Ok, and what's the matter?"
Silence…
"Christian what's wrong?, you are making me worry."
"Elliot, I think I like her."
Silence…
"Brother are you there?, don't leave me here alone."
"I'm here, so, tell me, why do you think you like her?"
"Because I couldn't stop thinking about her all day and when we were together I couldn't stop looking at her, and then in Sports…" I hesitate a little before I keep going, "she was wearing shorts and a tight t-shirt and well, you know, what happens to a boy…" Damn, I hope my brother takes me seriously and don't make laugh of me.
"Well Christian, if you like her and want to do something about it, maybe you should start telling her about your phobia and go from there, you know..., girls like hugs and things like that and at your age you are old enough to have intimacy you know, it will be better if you are honest with her."
"What if she thinks I'm crazy?!", I say afraid.
"Well bro is a risk you have to take if you really like her, nothing will make us all happier than knowing you are sharing your life with someone."
"Are you coming this weekend?", I ask before he says something more awkward, I know my family thinks I'll have a celibate life. "If you come you'll meet her, Kate is planning we all go to the movies together."
"If my Kate is planning on going to the movies I won't miss it for the world little bro. See you on Friday night then, and we can talk then or you know you can call me anytime."
"Thanks Lelliot, see you later. Let's keep in touch."
I think my brother is right, I'll be honest with Ana, she looks like a smart girl, I don't think she'll judge me.
I get home around 2:30, mom and dad are still working so I go straight to my sister's bedroom, she's sleeping, so I leave without making noise. I go to my bedroom and turn on my computer and search in Facebook for Anastasia Steele, and there she is smiling in her profile picture and hugging a man around his 40s, I'm sure is her father. I gather my courage and send her a friend request. I turn off the computer and start my homework. When I'm done I go to see Mia again.
My little sister is watching a movie on Netflix and is crying her eyes out, I smile lovingly at her when I see her like that.
"How are you little girl?", I say.
"Better, I'm just sleepy and my body aches a little today", she says while drying her tears.
"What are you watching?"
"Home, the one with Rihanna and James Parson, watch it with me."
I lay down next to her in bed.
I'm more concentrated in not thinking about Ana that in the movie, which is an animated movie by the way.
"Hey Mia, on Saturday Kate wants to go to the movies, she is going and also Elliot, Ethan, Ana, Jose, you and me, what do you think?"
"Yes, she sent me a text to tell me, Lily is also going", I don't like Lily, she is always devouring me with her eyes, besides I don't find her attractive. "Who are Ana and Jose?", says Mia interrupting my thoughts.
"Ana is Kate and Ethan's friend, she transferred from Montesano, she's in her senior year. When you go back to school you'll meet her, she is really nice and we have several classes together" I try to sound indifferent. "And Jose is Ana's friend" I say with a little resentment in the voice.
"Good, I hope mom let me go soon to class, I haven't seen the sun in a week."
"Mia can I ask you something?"
"Yeah, sure."
"If a boy likes you, how would you like him to approach you?"
"I would like him to be himself when he is with me and to have details like opening the door, etc, maybe buying gifts like stuffed animals, flowers, chocolates, you know..., stuff that makes me remember him, being attentive…"
"Attentive, thoughtful, being yourself, ok. Thanks Mia."
"Why do you ask, do you like a boy?"
"Mia, I'm not gay."
"Just making sure", she laughs.
"But seriously, why do you ask?"
"Just out of curiosity, little sister."
Our mom comes in by the door to check on us and tells me dinner is ready and dad is almost home, so I go wash my hands and pick up some food for my sister and then go back to the dining room. I remember the math tutoring thing with Ana.
"Mom, dad there's a girl that needs help with Precalculus, I offered to help her, can she come here?" They both look skeptical, mom answers first.
"Sure, son, it is really good you're helping your classmates", she says with enthusiasm, "when is she coming?"
"I don't know yet, we are barely starting so maybe next week, I don't really know, I'll tell you."
They keep a small talk, a little bit of their jobs, etc., when we are about to stand up I remember what Mia said.
"Mom do you mind if I cut some flowers from the garden, they are for a project", I say trying to sound convincing.
"Sure, honey, whatever you want."
"Thank you mom. I'll go for a little run now, before going to bed."
I like going for a run in the twilight, when the sun starts hiding, that way I feel tired when I go to bed and that allows me to sleep a little bit more at nights that are usually really short, normally I have horrible nightmares that don't allow me to sleep, so when I wake up I go to Mia's room and lay on the floor to sleep a little more or Elliot's if he is here, it is better when someone else is in the bedroom.
I'm done with the running, take a shower, put my pajamas and check the computer, Ana haven't accepted my request yet. I lay down and the last thing I remember before falling asleep are those blue eyes that look into my soul full of fears.