Written for the 'One Character Competition' by Cheeky Slytherin Lass on the HPFF- This is my entry for Round Two.
Prompt: Write 500 words or more on the emotion of your choice without stating the emotion. I will state the emotion I chose at the end of the story, so you lovely people can guess it first.
Word Count of the drabble itself: 502 words.
Author's Note: I love Remus. He is such a doll and so wonderful to write for. I had an array of ideas for this story as well!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters or settings. The prompts for this story and inspiration were provided by Cheeky Slytherin Lass.
Enjoy, and God Bless!
He was sure there would be a hole in the floor soon from the pacing, but he had been unable to stop. He had been outside their room for hours waiting in torture. When would his child be born? When would he know if his wife was alright or if the birth had gone well? Most importantly, when would he know if his child had inherited lycanthrope? Remus couldn't let his thoughts wander anymore to this anxiety and worry. His inner cheeks were raw from biting and his feet were sore from the pacing. A hole was forming, it really was. He took a seat. Hands folded on one knee, leg folded over leg, he let his thoughts wander to these abhorrent fears once more.
Lycanthrope couldn't be his child's only inheritance from him. He couldn't let his child be a werewolf. He couldn't let that be the only thing he gave them. It was difficult- incredibly difficult- to realize the very obvious reality that his child could easily be passed the gene that he had been infected with. Thankfully, if his son or daughter had to live with being a werewolf, there would be one pain spared them: the bite. Relief flooded over him, but not for long. Replacing it once more was the uncomfortable clench in his stomach, and the unwelcome thoughts that continued plaguing his mind. He felt nauseous, scared, and heartbroken.
He wanted his child to have so much in life. He wanted to give them above and beyond what they could ever deserve or ask for, but realistically, there wasn't much that he did have to offer. This fact wounded him deeply; deeper than any scar. Why was he so stupid? Why did he really allow himself to think that he could ever give a child the care and life they required? A baby needed so very much, and right about now all he had to offer was love. Yes, there was a small flat surrounding them; a small room that his child was being born in and that they would observe from the safety of their small cot. It wasn't enough, though. Remus knew it could never be enough.
He stood violently, nearly flipping over the wooden chair, and began pacing once more. He shoved his hands in his pockets and succumbed to every negative feeling raging inside of him. What if he wasn't a good father? Could he be a daddy with his disease? If his child inherited lycanthrope, he knew he wouldn't be able to look at them without sorrow. Anxiety tore apart his insides as his belief that he could ever measure up to being the father he needed to be, crumbled. Desperation came to stand beside him and paced as well, causing the emotions inside of him to run back and forth painfully. It was all too much to bear. It was too frightening and worrisome. It was too much to wander what he could give his child; what they would inherit.
Author's Note: My emotion was 'nervous'. I hope you all could sift through this and realize that! I worked really hard on this piece! Please review!