She catches a glimpse of moving white –
– and her heart stops. .
Miroku notices. "Sango? What is it?"
Sango cannot speak; does not speak, her eyes darting left and right, trying to pinpoint the cause of her death. He mistakes her fear for battle courage. "Youkai?"
The threat turns out to be a stray lily petal, caught and cajoled by the wind. She relaxes and tells him it was a false alarm. She cannot tell him she is only concerned about one youkai in particular.
He cannot know her shame.
They met on a plain illuminated by a sliver of a moon; not unlike the one that decorated his forehead.
Sango was dressed in her taijiya outfit minus Hiraikotsu. She bowed her head submissively.
"Kill me."
Her eyes were shut, waiting for the strike that would end her life.
He stared impassively. "Fool."
"I tried to kill Rin."
"Yes." Sesshoumaru turned and began to walk away.
"My life is yours!" she shouted.
"It is." He stopped to glance at her, and in the moonlight, his eyes glittered. "Taijiya. You shall care for Rin."
Sango gave a start. "What?"
"Protect her with that life you are so eager to throw away."
She was desperate then. "Why won't you kill me?"
"Weakling," he tossed at her over his shoulder; she was not worthy to be addressed face-to-face, it seemed. "Dying is easier than living."
Sango's eye drops to Tenseiga.
She thinks he is playing her for the fool she is. Pretending to entrust her with her almostvictim's life, and then showing up days later on a trumped-up charge and collecting his blood debt.
But Rin shows up; filthy and untamed from her wild life in his care and distraught at being left behind by her Sesshoumaru-sama. Outwardly, she is cared for by Kaede but it is Sango who watches the little girl; she feeds Rin when she is hungry, answers Rin's questions and assures Rin her Sesshoumaru-sama will return.
The last, she knows for sure – though whether to reclaim a young ward or end a wretched taijiya's existence remains to be seen.
Sango is a taijiya, after all, and taijiya depend on commissions to live. Though she would admit it was usually humans charging taijiya to take care of demons and not the other way round.
Inuyasha would have sympathised with her, if he was around. The taijiya suspected he knew of what she had nearly done – she sensed it in the way the hanyou could not quite meet her eyes the rare few times he ventured out of self-imposed exile.
So she is alone, left with a doting husband who cannot-know, a little ward who cries herself to sleep every night and the lingeringliving fear he might show up tomorrow.
It is a wonder she sleeps at night, cocooned in Miroku's arms as she is, knowing he is only a weak flesh-and-blood barrier between crime and punishment.
Time passes. Rin grows and flourishes into a civilized child under their influence.
As Sango watches over her, she wonders which of the peaceful days would be her last. She has been going over the details of her death enough times; she knows precisely how beautifully cruel he will look as his claws tear her head from her shoulders, how crimson the grass stained by her blood will be, how many months Miroku will mourn before he gets over the loss of a woman far too unworthy for him.
She even knows he will stay perfectly immaculate throughout, his silvery-white hair blowing freely in the wind as he departs the scene; hopefully with Rin in tow.
Thoughts of dying occupy most of her waking moments until the day she discovers she is pregnant. Sango tries her best not to see the irony inherent.
Sango sits underneath Goshinboku, Rin playing peacefully not far from her among the flowers. She has finally given up carrying her sword and Hiraikotsu along on these 'playtimes', owing to the restriction of movement from her pregnancy.
Rin bestows upon her guardian a crown of flowers and flops down beside her. "I hope the baby is born soon," she says. "Rin can't wait to see it; Rin shall play with it, and give it flowers, and take it to the river..."
"It'll be born when it is ready," comes Sango's practical reply.
She grins up at the older woman. "You're right, Sango-sama." She returns to her flower braids; deft fingers plait and pull them into place. "Rin mustn't be selfish; Jaken-sama always tells Rin that. But Rin forgets."
The taijiya has given up trying to understand this strange, wise child long ago; instead, she smiles.
"Oh?"
"Yes!"" Rin furrows her brow. "But Sesshoumaru-sama doesn't say much to Rin. Sesshoumaru-sama takes good care of Rin, and brings her pretty clothes, and keeps her safe from the wolves." Her tiny frame gives an involuntary shudder.
The moment passes. The child stands up and laughingly adds another, and another wreath to her retainer's head. "Sango-sama will make a pretty mama!" cries Rin happily.
Sesshoumaru visits infrequently with gifts for Rin. He nevitably takes off soon after, deaf to her entreaties to take her with him.
Sango stops him one night. Her newborn twin daughters are asleep under their proud father's watch; she feels perfectly calm to be away from her babies for some strange reason.
"You're not going to kill me, aren't you?"
She has gone too far. He glares at her from over his shoulder. Chastened, the taijiya falls silent.
"Foolish human." Sesshoumaru's impossibly white hair gleams in the moonlight.
And just like that –
– he is gone.
Sango wonders how much longer she has to wait – and whether she can begin to think of her future.