Gnarls Last Tale
Deep in the bowls of the Nether Realm, in a dark corner of one of the many twisting caverns, rested the decrepit form of Gnarl. The old minion master and advisor to countless Overlords (It was about five at the most but we don't want the guy to feel like an underachiever on his last days) had called forth the most promising member from each of the tribes (which isn't saying much) and was about to pass on the last of his wisdom. "Gather round, gather round you worthless grubs." wheezed the grey minion. "Listen closely as I am about to tell you the true history of what transpired all those years ago..."
"I think it was twenty." Interrupted Crag, a brown minion with a...'blunt' personality
"I know that you gravel brained dolt!" rebuked Gnarl. "Now don't interrupt!"
The others laughed maliciously as they threw a few punches at whoever was closest to them. (Minions don't care who threw the first punch or where it even landed. The only thing they care about is that the fists are flying.)
Gnarl cleared his throat which turned into a whooping cough reminding the others of the amount of time he had left. "Our Dark Master sat on the pinnacle of victory, the old emperor lay dead at his feet (well he was more of a puddle), an entire nation bowing down to him, the very world at his mercy and that's when they cheated. All it took was on bat-crazy old woman to undo years of training, looting, pillaging and the occasional bit of mass slaughter. Admittedly most of that was more fun than work but it doesn't take away from the fact that one person made us look like complete idiots and took everything away. Rose was never the same once our old master never came back from his little trip to the Infernal Abyss but she still remained true to evil no matter what she said. Her work to destroy all magical beings so their magical energy could be harvested was deliciously sublime and when she abandoned her own son brought a tear to my eye. However when she thwarted our master's plan of becoming the new emperor by detonating the vast reserves of magical energy stored in the palace, well that was taking things a bit too far. The resulting explosion destroyed her (hopefully), our master and everything else in the nearby country side (wish I could have seen it, preferably at a safe distance). However, that wasn't the end of it as the explosion created some sort of magical shockwave that..."
"Pffft. Magical shockwave." Scoffed Slush, blue minion that was one of the more intelligent of the four. (Again, not saying much)
"Shut up!" yelled (or tried to) Gnarl at the interrupting minion. "It's what actually happened. Now where was I?"
"It was five seconds ago, you'd think he'd remember." Whispered Tox, the green minion with the tongue as sharp as his blade. The others burst out laughing, while Gnarl contemplated taking four more lives with him
"Anyway" continued Gnarl being too weak and annoyed to care whether they were listening or not "Keeping it simple for you idiots. Big magical explosion causes other magical reserves to detonate which in turn releases vast quantities of chaotic magical energy that warps the entire world and everything in it. The rest of it you should already know but judging the blank look on your faces, I'll tell you anyway. We woke up deep in the labyrinth that we call home, scattered but alive until we heard a call. A dark and powerful voice spoke to us, luring us to the remains of our old home, the Dark Tower. Turns out that our old master hadn't left us although when we found him, we noticed that he had lost a lot of weight, an entire body's worth and was now calling himself the Shadow Emperor."
"That name lacks as much 'spark' as your disembodiment joke." Commented Ash, the 'funny' one in the group.
"Like you're one to talk." Groaned Gnarl "Besides, what else do you call a dark, disembodied soul of pure evil."
"Well, that explains where the name came from." Tox smirked
"I still can't believe the master went along with it." Said Slush shaking his head
Gnarl was silently praying for to Death to save him from this agony before taking a deep rickety breath and continuing. "As you know the tower mistresses survived the collapse of the Dark Tower and discovered they were pregnant with four adorably evil babies. Now the time has come after many years of training and preparation for this new generation of Overlords to burst into a new world and show everyone what they have been missing. I trust you to guide them into this new world and remember my teachings. No go and show them the true meaning of evil."
With that the four new minion masters turned around and headed back to their charges with malicious grins on their faces and an evil glint in their glowing eyes.
"Hang on." Crag said stopping the others. "Weren't we supposed to receive some sort of wisdom?"
The others groaned and began pummelling the ignorant minion