Teehee, inspired by the fantastic story "Those Lacking Spines" by Organization VI and a wonderful plotbunny suggestion from Inxblot on Live Journal's KH Fanfic Rants.
It was a rare occurrence for Organization XIII to get mail. As deliveries had to be made to their fortress, which was located in the scenic World That Never Was, it was quite often the case that their mail was delivered by the Dusk Nobody remains of a hapless delivery worker that had been caught by the numerous heartless.
This was also why they did not have pizza very often.
And so, on the most recent occasion that Organization XIII received its mail, Xemnas found it quite distressing that, in the middle of the pile of junk mail, catalogues, questionable magazine subscriptions and ValuSav packages (oh wonderful, they included a coupon for DiGiorno's), there was a court summons. Xemnas eyed it warily, hoping that it was nothing less benign than a Jury Duty summons (Xigbar, Xemnas recalled, had conveniently lost his heart the day before serving his last summons). However, to his ever-increasing headache, it was a summons for a lawsuit hearing.
To: Organization XIII, Castle that Never Was
To Whom it may concern:
It has come to the attention of Hermes' Delivery Service that several of our employees have permanently vanished along the mail route to your residence. We do realize the risks of sending hapless delivery workers through a realm of utter darkness, but it has become a problem, as we are now unable to hire new employees, due to the hazards of said employment. We had sent you a letter previously, requesting that a safe passage through your world be constructed, but received no reply. We understand that this letter very well could have been lost, as has much of your mail, but this only further propagates the problem.
Therefore, we, the employees of Hermes Delivery Service have asked you to appear in court on Monday, the 27th of June. We humbly ask that you bring no Heartless.
Hermes Delivery Service
Xemnas sighed, and checked the address on the envelope, and then paged Demyx.
The blond musician teleported into his office. "You wished to see me, sir?"
"Yes, number IX, I have a very important mission for you."
"Uh, a mission?" Demyx rubbed the back of his neck hesitantly. "I dunno, that last one with the bees and the robots didn't go so good…"
"Nonsense, IX, anyone could handle something like this."
"Well sir, if you say so…" Xemnas knew that Demyx was bluffing, but made no mind. He tossed the envelope to Demyx. "Tell me what world this Hermes Delivery Service is located on."
"Gah, that's really hard to make out… looks like Olympus Coliseum."
"Precisely. I want you to go there and… disable this Hermes Delivery Company. While you're there, I've been meaning to send someone to steal the Olympus Stone. Could you pick that up on your way back?"
"Uh, sir, I really don't think I'm the right one for this job…"
"Stop procrastinating, IX, and go. I expect you to bring me the CEO's heartless on a leash. And the Stone, of course."
"As you wish, sir." Demyx turned to open the portal, drawing his hood over his face.
Xemnas turned back to reading letters, but paused, stopping Demyx before he left. "Ah, one more thing, IX. If you XIII's other, mess with his head."
"Why would I do that, sir?"
"No reason other than his reactions will surely amuse you."
Demyx gave Xemnas a funny look, and then turned to his portal and headed off to Olympus Coliseum to… "deal" with Hermes Delivery Service.