A Two and a Half Women moment

Happy Mother's Day...dumb ass

By: Alavon

"Morning, Fate," sang a very happy Nanoha Takamachi upon entering the kitchen.

Fate looked up from her Sunday newspaper, an annoyed look plastered on her pale face.

She snorted and said, "What's so damn good about it?"

Nanoha blinked. She took her share of eggs and bacons before answering.

"Don't you know what day it is?"

"Hey, if it's not Coyote Tuesdays and Drink-Until-You-Puke Thursday-"

"Which is everyday," interrupted Nanoha, rolling her eyes.

"-then I don't care." Fate said the last part with emphasis.

Nanoha shook her head in disbelief.

"I can't believe this...today is Mother's Day!"

"So?"

"S-so?" Nanoha stood up from the table to get a cup of coffee. She definitely needed it.

"It's one of the most important day's in the year where you show your mother that you love her!"

At that moment, Vivio Takamachi, Nanoha's 11 year-old daughter, entered the kitchen carrying a medium sized box wrapped in pink paper.

"Morning, mom!"

Nanoha couldn't help but smile. Fate smirked...

"Morning, Sweetie. Did you sleep well?"

Vivio stretched, yawing.

"I did. I also had a very good dream. It had male strippers..."

Nanoha slowly looked at Fate who seemed very interested to the floor.

"You didn't put the parental lock on that channel like I told you!?"

"Hey! In my defense, it said 'parental control'! The parent should do it, not the parent's friend!"

Nanoha rubbed her eyes. She needed more than one cup of coffee...

"Anyway," resumed Vivio. "Happy Mother's Day, mom!" She held up the box to her mother who took it gratefully.

"Ah, thank you, sweetie!" Nanoha began to rip apart the gift wrap but stopped short after seeing what it was.

"Well...do you like it?"

"Um, sweetie? This is a Gamecube..."

Fate had to contain her laughter because Nanoha's expression was priceless.

"Yeah, it was on sale..."

"I, ah...hmm...I don't know what to say..."

"Well! If you don't want it, I'll take it instead!" With that being said, she grabbed the Gamecube and left the kitchen but not before saying, "But don't say I didn't give you a Mother's Day present!"

Fate couldn't take it anymore.

"Mou, stop laughing, Fate! It's not funny!"

Fate took a deep breath and said, "So, where's the love?"

"At least she thought about me!"

"Uh-huh! Happy Mother's Day, you dumb ass!"

Nanoha scowled. "Putting that event aside...what are you going to give to Precia, your mother?"

Fate stopped laughing at once.

"Ah, Satan," she hissed, narrowing her eyes. "I have the perfect Mother's Day present for her."

Nanoha blinked.

"Oh? And what's that?"

"I'm going to call her to tell her that I can't make it to dinner like I promised."

"And how's that a 'perfect Mother's Day present'?"

Fate smiled triumphantly. "Simple. She gets to bitch and whine to all her friends about how ungrateful I am. It's the perfect present."

"I see your logic there, but one question."

"What?"

Nanoha crossed her arms across her chest. "Do you even know your mother's phone number?"

Fate looked offended. "Of course! I have her on speed dial!"

"Speed dial?"

"Yup! 666..."

"How smart of you," said Nanoha, sarcastically.

"Thanks. I try."